Pregnant with my third and feeling awful

[Dragonhart]

I have a ds 2.5 and dd 12m and I am nearly 9weeks preg with my third. We wanted our children close together and this time we were going to start trying in Jan. I had pretty much decided we should wait when I found out I am preg with our third.

I am happy about it but I have awful morning sickness that is lasting all day and I just feel so down about everything. I have been feeling so dizzy and awful that I really struggle to take them out which means they are stuck in with me which as you can imagine for a 2.5yo is pretty boring.

He is being very good and I know it wont last but when we are having tea he is telling me stories aobut the tv he has watched rather than the things he has done in the day I feel awful. I just feel like they are really missing out and pretty selfish for having our third.

I read through what I have just written and it just sounds pathetic. I know people have much worse problems and that it will probably pass when the morning sickness does and I feel myself again, but I just feel like a rubbish mum.

Any advice would be really appreciated x

[bobsmum]

Dragonhart - I'm also expecting no3 with a 2.5 yr old dd. I've got a 5yo ds too.

My morning sickness was hideous thi time round. All day long and with exhaustion like I've never known - it was like having glandular fever again!

But it did go away by about 16/17 weeks and then I felt fine. I've now got bad SPD - but that's another story!

Anyway, I have resigned myself to dd living a slightly different life while we're waiting for baby.

so i've invested in some good DVDs that I'm happy for dd to watch - we're going through the box set of the Singing Kettle atm. I sit with her and when I'm not nodding off, we'll watch it together. But we do spend a long time sitting on the sofa.

I also dragged myself out to toddler group even though it was hard. Once there I would sit and nurse my cuppa, but at least dd was playing and running around .

Also make use of any soft play places near you and linger there for as long as you can. Go with a friend so there's someone more awake than you with an extra pair of eyes.

I found the more I did the better I felt as long as I kept eating. On the days when I sat around and moped, I didn't eat properly and felt worse.

Do the dcs both still have naps? Sleep then if you can. Even if they're around in the same room, you could probably snatch 40 winks and you;d hear if anything was happening.

It's grim and you have my sympathy - cos I'm still there too

[FoghornLeghorn]

I am also pregnant with #3, I have DD1 who is 3.5 and DD2 who is 13 months.
You have my sympathy

[thebecster]

You are all such fantastic mums to be so worried about the best interests of your children when you're feeling rubbish yourself. When your little ones look back, they'll just remember how much they were loved in their childhood, which they obviously are. A few extra playdoh days won't be a big deal. So sorry about the morning sickness, mine was truly awful (only have 1 DS), you have all my sympathy...

[seanbonfire]

i am also pregnant with no.3 and up until last week felt just like you. It is a very hard time- feeling so bad but still having to look after two young children(mine are 4.5 and 2)Christmas was the worst i just moped around feeling so sick and tired.I dozed off plenty of afternoons while my two watched telly and i do feel that they lost out on their mam for a while but it does pass. Dont be afraid to lean heavily on your other half, leave housework and get as much help as you can from family and friends.YOU WILL GET PAST THIS!

[sweetkitty]

I'm another one who knows how you feel, DD1 3.6yo, DD2 2yo and I'm 16 weeks with number 3, have just got over the morning sickness/feeling like a bag of crap stage and now have SPD.

I try to do something every morning with DD2 whilst DD1 is at nursery, toddler groups/music group. Then I only have to entertain them in the afternoon, DD2 still goes for a nap and DD1 and I have quiet time which can be something crafty or watching a DVD together. Sticking on cbeebies is allowed as well.

Another tip I find great is hide a load of toys for a month, then bring them out, my two go mad and you can get a good 2 hours of them playing with the toys before they get bored.

Can you put DS1 into nursery a few mornings a week, it's great for them playing with friends/new things and it would give you a break?

[Dragonhart]

Thank you everyone. It is good to know I am not alone.

DH has been lovely and done loads when he is home but he works 12hr shifts and has had to do lots of overtime recently which means I am on my own for all of the children's day.

It is funny because if I felt like this for any other reason I wouldn't hesitate in asking for help but because it is MS, I feel I have to 'just get on with it'.

[Dragonhart]

DD2 has a nap but ds1 doesn't.

I cant really afford to put ds1 into nursery sweetkitty which i why I normally go to toddler groups with him, which he loves.

It is just getting there I am struggling with as I am getting so dizzy. I dont have a car so I have to walk/get the bus and I am paranoid about fainting while out with them as ds1 walks now rather than being in the buggy.

I dont mean to shoot down the suggestions and I love the idea of hiding some toys (and would love to have the extra space too!) and getting a set of dvds. Might have a look on ebay for some bargains.

[MerlinsBeard]

dragonhart....congratulations surely you are the first from the Jan thread to be pg again?

My 2 are 4.10 and 2.10. 2 yo has speech problems so it seemed like the early weeks where i would have had my head down the loo were spent trying to entertain him in a way that a@ he understood and b) I understood!

It doesn't feel like it when you feel rotten and tired but it DOES get easier. They won't remember the early weeks at all.

I am now 32 weeks and have the guilt startimg again because i am not physically able to get them toddler groups now. (like you, i don't drive!)

[Dragonhart]

No MOM the second from the Jan thread!

I hope all is going well for you. It is getting close for you now. I still have to deal with the of actually having three! xxx

[PrettyCandles]

You're not rubbish, you're exhausted first-ttrimester. It will pass, as you know, and your LOs will not be harmed by having been babysat by the TV for longer than you would ideally allow. I bet all 3rd-time mums have used the square babysitter to excess (I certainly did)!

I found that things that helped with the morning sickness in one pregnancy, didn't necesarily help in the next pregnancy. So try different strategies to what you did previously. Sipping iced water or licking ice-pops throughout the day, and nibbling food constantly may help. The dizzyness may be low blood sugar and/or slight dehydration. I found that it was easy to get dehydrated even without vomiting.

Cuddle up to the LOs while they watch TV, let the housework slide, and whisper to yourself the mantra of pregnancy and parenting "It will pass".

[PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt]

Oh crap - I'm feeling exactly as you all describe and this is my 2nd not my 3rd. We have always wanted 3 but hearing you all say that it's even worse is very vexing indeed.

[eandh]

dh - to read this was wondering where you were as hadnt seen you on pn thread for a few days, does ds like noddy as we have spare dvd if you would like it?

[Dragonhart]

Prettycandles- So true about the same things not working! Even day to day let alone preg to preg!

EAH- That's so kind EAH. DS1 loves Noddy so that would be great. Will email my address and can send you postage. xxx (havent been on to catch up as after they have gone to bed just been collapsing on the sofa or going to bed! Will catch up soon though)

[eandh]

dont worry about postage I'll send it courtesy of work! ave you got my email if not it is [email protected] (we havent got the paper insert thing in the case as someone aka E ripped it but will send you the blank case and disc

[Dragonhart]

Thanks EAH xxx

[PetitFilou1]

Dragonhart I am in exactly the same boat as you - about 9 weeks pregnant, feel sick all day - except my two are almost 4 and almost 2.5. Keeping ds in the house in the afternoons is like keeping a sheepdog without ever exercising it - but I am just exhausted by that point. He really needs to go out at least twice a day but I just can't cope with it. Coupled with that dd is giving up her lunchtime nap. At least I am at work 3 days a week. I can't offer much advice just sympathies. Roll on the second trimester when I'm hoping I will feel better....

[Janus]

dragonhart, I'm on number 3 too and felt completely dreadful this time around, which I never had with the previous 2. If it makes you feel better, I would take my girl to bed with me in the afternoon and she would watch TV (we have one in our bedroom which is about the first time it's come in handy!!) and I would sleep for an hour. I usually felt worse when I first woke up but much better after about an hour. I felt so horribly guilty about doing this but she seemed rather pleased!!
I'm now 24 weeks and things are completely different. I had the sickness and tiredness up to 15 or so weeks and as soon that went I felt like a new woman! I have much more energy now and that horrible time seems like some time ago now.
Just go with the flow for now, if they need to watch TV for big chunks of the day then just remember this is a phase and spring will soon be here and you will also be feeling much better.
I really sympathise, I couldn't see light at the end of the tunnel but you do get there!

[Dragonhart]

Thank you everyone. It has really made me feel alot better. I am not sure why knowing that other people have gone through/are going through as bad a time helps but it definately does. Maybe I dont feel so weird now!

Thanks for all your advise. xxx

[FillyjonkisCALM]

It really is hard

My kids have gone from watching virtually no tv, to about 1.5 hours on bad days

I had very bad morning sickness to about 16 weeks, and now have bloody awful SPD and sciatica and I am just not very mobile.

I do feel like this is never going to end, and we are NEVER going to be able to just go to the park again.

Also I feel bloody awful that the last few weeks of it just being me and them, they are just getting this grumpy mummy who takes about 5 minutes just to stand up...