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I'm really crap at being pregnant and I don't care who knows it.

(169 Posts)

I am not one of those glowing pregnant women. I vomit a lot. I have permanent wind and indigestion, and spots. My hair turns into a fuzzball, I gain weight at a rate of knots and am permanently tired.

I am tetchy with everyone and frosty with midwives who pat me knowingly hmm. I am beligerent with consultants who refer to me as 'mum' and crotchety in the extreme with phlebomotists who take five attempts to get one vial of blood.

My pelvis goes to pot within four months, my blood pressure is up and down so often Alton Towers have asked if they can install it as a ride, my ankles are so swollen I look like they've been encased in pastry like some massive hairy sausage rolls.

Pregnancy to be completely frank, is a total pain in the arse for me (quite literally I get piles too) and if I could get a baby, ready made on ebay I would.

I'm assuming I am alone in this, yes? grin

MrsJohnCusack Sun 06-Jan-08 22:27:23

I'm shit at it too
I was slightly better second time round though, so there might be some hope for you yet

CHOCOLATEPEANUT Sun 06-Jan-08 22:38:42

I am crap at being pregnant.I am usually a very well person but as soon as the sperm penetrates the egg I start throwing up and dont stop.It comes without warning and i used to be sick in the car all over my clothes often.I end up lighter at full term than the beginning.

I then got spd and had to hump off to physio to be be pulled and prodded.Then piles so sat on a bag of sweetcorn.Gaviscon was carried in a hip flask and in last few weeks when head down I went through a pack of tena ladies a day as every cough (I had reflux so got awful cough) I pissed myself.

When i had dd her legs got jammed in ribs and she broke one.When ds born last month the c section was so brutal as he was stuck one of the trainee nurses had to sit down.

But

they are soooo worth it!

paddyclamp Sun 06-Jan-08 23:24:04

Pregnancy sucks, and i had it easy compared to most. I hated being fat and i hated having to abstain from all those things!

In fact the main thing that's stopping me having a 3rd child is the fact that i don't think i could bear to be pregnant again wink

daisynova Sun 06-Jan-08 23:43:19

Oh you wonderful person for posting this. I am made to feel guilty and mean at every turn when i mention how much I am hating being pregnant. This is my first (AND LAST) child as it has been so horrendous!

Why does no-one tell you about the bad things before you go and have unprotected sex?????

I have been sick for the full time, have spots, sweat profusely, have a temper to match the Incerdible Hulk, I'm off sex (no wonder!), I hate everyone, food is just another step closer to puking again and if another stranger pats my tummy I fear I will murder them with my handbag!

And to make matters worse my OB/GYN team can't make up their mind about whether to c-section me or induce me! I don't get any choice.

So mean!

lightwind Mon 07-Jan-08 00:17:16

This thread is:

A. so reassuring - thank goodness I'm not the only one... was beginning to think I was a prize wimp in a world full of brave incredibly happy glowing pregnant women

B. hilarious - had to stop myself chortling out loud as dh is asleep next door

I've really really wanted to be pregnant for years and years - had lots of health issues which meant I couldn't be, so when I did finally conceive (I'm 40) I was thrilled to bits. And then reality kicked in.

While I wouldn't go so far as to say I hate being pregnant, I certainly didn't count on it being so bloody hard. I've had severe SPD, thrush, high blood pressure, a blocked nose, morning sickness, perpetual tiredness, insomnia, painful pelvic girdle and hip muscles every night, lousy digestion (constipation, heartburn, IBS, sore bum muscles, lots of wind and more), swollen ankles, feet and calves, carpal tunnel syndrome in both wrists, anxiety attacks during hospital visits, (I suffer from long-term OCD and depression), stress incontinence, a prolonged bout of 'flu and a chesty cough that lasted 8 weeks, a tooth infection, hot flushes, sweaty nether regions, itchy skin and I practically live in the loo. I've had spotty skin, sore breasts, leaky nipples, skin tags in weird places, and I've gained around 16 kilos so far and I'm only 34 weeks. Not to mention not being able to walk without pain thanks to the SPD.

And I'm fed up with being given advice by all and sundry (especially my sis-in-law who is getting on my nerves with her over-solicitous and sickly sweet phone calls, ostensibly to ask how I am... and within minutes she's into preachy and sanctimonious advice mode - she had her first baby 19 months ago so that makes her an expert - she's making me homicidal). I wish people would stop telling me to be cheerful, to listen to good music, to read 'good' books and to eat the the right things. And I'm especially fed up with all the women who come to my pregnancy yoga class and say that they feel 'fine'. I bet they are all delusional/liars/living in a parallel universe.

(Ooh this feels good. Happy venting, everyone.)

minouminou Mon 07-Jan-08 01:06:52

Oh good god i hated it.
Very sick till about week 30, dizziness, rattiness, black depression and the 2006 heatwave, when i HATE heat anyway.
Then, final 6 weeks or so my blood pressure hit the floor, and unless i was walking or lying down, i had a draining/pulling feeling in my head/neck/upper shoulders, i assume this was the blood failing to get up there as well as it should've
other than that, textbook, and a fab healthy DS to boot.
Doing it again sometime this year, but i am SO avoiding the summer.
I remember someone asking me at a party what being pregnant's like (I was about 17 weeks at the time), and i said "boring, nauseating and people spout shit at you".
This is after i was manhandled to the food by the host, and told what i could and couldn't have. To be fair, they'd catered with me in mind, and i was being churlish, but it's just the "you should/'nt do that" thing.
Just fuck off, will ya.
Bleeeuuuurrrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

elvisgirl Mon 07-Jan-08 05:56:33

I am 31 weeks & apart from a couple of weeks around week 26 or so it has been shite for me too. As well as all the routine stuff my specific situation had a risk of m/c for the first two trimesters than risk of pre-term labour for the last so that brings added misery. I am praying that bf-ing & looking after the newborn will go relatively smoothly as some sort of karmic compensation but I fear that may be overly optimistic!

franke Mon 07-Jan-08 07:13:30

Oh, I agree with all of you. It's the pits. And fwiw I want to punch consultants whether they call me mum or not. bah!

Beapatient Mon 07-Jan-08 07:57:07

fab post

me too - first timer who's been chucking up since 6 weeks - now 37 weeks. the puking subsided at about 28 weeks slightly but back with a vengeance since start of December. it's projectile in the extreme. had to clean walls of toilet at work a few times. for some reason i carried on at work, apart from when i got so bad i brought up blood and was put on a drip. was rather miffed when non-up the duff
slackers colleagues took days off when they had 'felt sick through the night so won't come in, just in case'.

I have the lardiest baby ever - he/she won't let me eat any fruit. combined with heartburn from hell, constant hiccups i'm a gastric nightmare.

blessed by a skin tag which i keep thinking is actually something i've given birth to it's so big, just on the bikini line / near fanjo. i should add that i was aware there was something there but only managed to contort myself into a position in which i could see HOW BIG it had got a week ago. now it's not dropping off despite the thread i've tied on it.

only blessing is that my skin has not erupted, despite having had spots as a teenager and through most of my 20's. in fact skin has been clear through pregnancy on whole. but surely this just means that i'll suffer with reverse hormones or something when the baby has arrived.

oh, and had to inject myself with the clexane every day due to a previous dvt. fear of needles now gone. and several additional anti-d jabs due to idiot man ploughing into back of my car and tripping over wonky pavement at work and falling on bump.

sympathy for all the grisly side effects. and especially the ginger biscuits comment. i had two colleagues bring some in for me. oh, and the ginger ale. bastards.

dejags Mon 07-Jan-08 08:17:57

I could cheerfully cry.

DS1. was a good pregnancy. I got huge (+4stone), I loved being pregnant. So I stupidly thought, what the hell, I'll have another.

DS2. I felt like crap. I was huge. I ached. I was miserable. I stupidly thought, what the hell, I'll have another.

DD. I puked for 7 long months. I puked in the morning, I puked in the day, I puked in the night, I puked in the small hours of the morning. I had painful braxton hicks from 15 weeks onwards. I had such low bp that I couldn't get up some days (88/44 at one point I truly, truly, truly HATED being pregnant. I wisely thought, I will NEVER have another.

Guess what. I may be pregnant. What on earth was I thinking.

Not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Great thread btw.

spugs Mon 07-Jan-08 08:25:41

were walking adverts for contraception arent we grin

SydneyB Mon 07-Jan-08 08:28:00

What a fantastic thread! I hated being pregnant as was sick all the way through (and all the way through the labour) - was SUCH a relief to feel well again the minute DD was out. And now we're TTC no. 2 and I'd kind of forgotten about it all until reading this thread... hmmm. smile

itscoldtoday Mon 07-Jan-08 08:30:26

I've dusted off my namechange from when I 'outed' myself as a GP because it's pertinent to this thread.

dc1 - morning sickness to 16 weeks, heartburn, rib ache that made sitting a nightmare, the worst insomnia, mood swings, and in my last week of work a patient collapsed and died on their toilet and I had to try and lift her off and begin resuscitation. Thankfully, her daughter arrived, and was happy for her Mum to be left in peace...which just left me with the body to move and the undertakers who refused to come and help shock. But, it being my first pregnancy I still managed to glow with that special feeling for about 10 weeks in the middle.

dc2 - morning sickness to 17 weeks which I battled continuing to feed dc1 through, only for him to self-wean a few weeks later. Terrible back and rib pain again. Wretched insomnia. Tantrumming toddler too. And another patient collapsed on the toilet in my second-last week of work. At least she wasn't dead, but that meant me and my bump did have to manhandle her to the ground and bend over doing what you do in those circumstances. No glow that pregnancy, funnily enough. Haven't decided about more kids, but I don't want to be pregnant again, maybe I can anaesthetise myself for 9 months?!

dejags Mon 07-Jan-08 08:38:35

It should be noted, however, that despite my wretched loathing of being pregnant it was worth it in the end.

My kids are fab smile

BumperliciousIsOneHotMother Mon 07-Jan-08 09:07:52

I was just about to feel sympathy for you WMMC then I read the bit about your size 8 jeans and sympathy went out the window grin

Seriously though, I loathed being pg and wasn't afraid to tell people even though it quickly became apparent it that wasn't "the done thing" to hate being pg and most people thought I was barking hmm

I hated it to the point that I am not sure I could do it again despite wanting another child and I actually often have nightmares about finding out I am pg again! But then dd is on'y 6 months so maybe that'll wear off.

I do think it is good to be honest about these things otherwise you get caught up in this misguided belief that pregnancy is all blooming and glowing, and you should just glide along rubbing your bump beatifically and nodding when people make inappropriate comments about your size/try and offer you advice/mutter something rude about maternity leave.

God why would you do this to yourself woman? WHY?!

sweetbean Mon 07-Jan-08 09:11:07

Well having read all of the post i should think myself lucky as i have had a relativly good time physically but it affects me mentally!
i'm 20 weeks pregnant with my second but i just hate being pregnant i worry all the time about every little thing possible and keep feeling that what ever i do there will be something wrong with the baby or something terrible will happen.
I also felt like something terrible would happen to my DH when i was pregnant with my first and that he would never get to see his baby!
Now with my second i keep feeling that something will happen to our DD.Its an AUFUL feeling and totally consuming! I just don't want to let her out of my sight and know that it will just get worse until i give birth !!sad

So yes i also HATE HATE HATE being pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ConnorTraceptive Mon 07-Jan-08 09:17:40

All day morning sickness - check
Insomnia - check
Low Iron - check
Iron Tablet = constipation - check
Heartburn - check
Tired all the time - check
Snappy and iritable - check
Insomnia - check
Leg cramps - check
Piles - check
Braxton hicks - check
Varicose veins on fanjoshockangry - check

sweetkitty Mon 07-Jan-08 10:04:32

I HATE people that think SPD doesn't exist and I'm sure a lot of the medical profession don't. Most of my family think it's something I have made up to rhyme with STD cos it's funny and they haven't heard of SPD and they have had lots of babies therefore I have made it up.

"A bit of back pain is common in pregnancy"

Is it f**** common (sorry but feel the need to swear) to feel your entire body is going to drop through your pelvis, to scream out at night if you try and turn over, to be in agony walking and getting up from the sofa, to hear and feel your pelvic bones grinding when you walk, oh and all this from about 15 weeks so sod all to do with additional weight???!!!!

Oh give me a support belt that is useless as well.

MuffinMclay Mon 07-Jan-08 10:06:49

This has made me laugh so much. Glad I'm not the only one who hates being pg.

I feel like I've been pg for about 35 years not 35 weeks. And if MIL tells me just once more that 'SIL never made this much fuss...' I may just lose the plot completely.

Never again!

Piggy Mon 07-Jan-08 10:07:49

I am terrible at being pregnant too. I loathe it. I would love to have more children but struggle so much being pregnant so we're sticking with two.

I even commiserate when my friends tell me they are pregnant even when they are over the moon!

rmadley Mon 07-Jan-08 10:17:51

Am with you all on this - 9 weeks left to go on 2nd and most definitely final pregnancy. I just don't think I'm cut out to be pregnant. I can't remember the last time I had a good nights sleep my hips ache so much - if I read one more time that a pillow between my legs will help I will scream hmm - I spend the entire night rearranging pillows - throwing them out of bed, getting them back again. Whilst I don't want the baby to arrive too early I just hope the next 9 weeks fly by.

DANCESwithaMuffinTop Mon 07-Jan-08 10:21:20

OOOOOOOOooohhhhh, I love babies, I love feeling the baby kick but apart from that I was a miserable cow.

I whinged for 9 months because I had terrible back pain
I was only nauseous for 13 weeks but that was bad enough
I put on LOADS of weight
I had heartburn
I had TERRIBLE (sorry dh) wind, all the time!
I spent a good 6 months weeing I'm sure and we don't have a downstairs toilet so I had to drag my lardy butt upstairs just to wee a teaspoon's worth of urinesad

YUK, YUK, YUK. So glad I'm not doing that againsmile

MuffinMclay Mon 07-Jan-08 10:23:41

grin Piggy, I'm the same. When someone announces a new pregnancy, I go through the motions of saying 'congratulations, how wonderful etc', but really I'm feeling so sorry for them having months and months of misery and discomfort ahead.

Beapatient Mon 07-Jan-08 10:28:04

Muffin Mclay, your MIL is a bitch shock

MuffinMclay Mon 07-Jan-08 12:42:55

She has her moments, certainly.grin

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