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I'm really crap at being pregnant and I don't care who knows it.

(169 Posts)

I am not one of those glowing pregnant women. I vomit a lot. I have permanent wind and indigestion, and spots. My hair turns into a fuzzball, I gain weight at a rate of knots and am permanently tired.

I am tetchy with everyone and frosty with midwives who pat me knowingly hmm. I am beligerent with consultants who refer to me as 'mum' and crotchety in the extreme with phlebomotists who take five attempts to get one vial of blood.

My pelvis goes to pot within four months, my blood pressure is up and down so often Alton Towers have asked if they can install it as a ride, my ankles are so swollen I look like they've been encased in pastry like some massive hairy sausage rolls.

Pregnancy to be completely frank, is a total pain in the arse for me (quite literally I get piles too) and if I could get a baby, ready made on ebay I would.

I'm assuming I am alone in this, yes? grin

Cashncarry Sun 06-Jan-08 21:39:39

No - you're not alone. I hated being pregnant - threw up for most of the nine months, and when i wasn't throwing up I was suffering from extreme heartburn that meant I had to sleep vertically. My skin went all funny and mottled and I lost a stone and a half and still looked like the creature from the black lagoon hmm

Bring on the e-bay babies i say wink

Rantmum Sun 06-Jan-08 21:40:52

Ummm I have only done it once, but I am definitely in the "end justifies the means" category where pgy is concerned. So no, you are not alone in this wink.

At least I have managed to perfect the 'vomiting in the sink without dropping the toddler' dance now though hmm

Sarahjct Sun 06-Jan-08 21:42:02

Nope grin

In addition to that lot I have alienated my family, ignored my friends, grown a baby with a pot belly, fallen out with DH, spent my last weekend of freedom in my room crying (am being induced on Tuesday) and am about to shell out £175 per night for a private room because I am a wimp and scared of hospitals.

Fun, ain't it?

notjustmom Sun 06-Jan-08 21:43:05

Message withdrawn

poppy34 Sun 06-Jan-08 21:45:13

call you mum?! WTF is that all about - i'd punch out any consultant who did that to me

know what you mean re wind/indigestion etc - its a pita

Islamum Sun 06-Jan-08 21:45:55

I hated it, but dd on lap sleeping and shes so lovely..

I wouldn't mind but I was looking REALLY GOOD before I got pregnant. I was finally back in my size 8 jeans, and I had a cute toddler, now I've got a whiny toddler because my milk tastes funny, and DH is driving me nuts because he keeps saying 'you need more sleep' hmm, everytime I lie down I feel sick and hey I have mass insomnia again - I had it through my first pregnancy.

Sarahjct - I don't blame you for asking for a private room but I was just such a pain in the arse last time they gave me one for one night free just to shut me up! grin

LynetteScavo Sun 06-Jan-08 21:46:33

You are certainly not alone.

No varicose veins? Your'e doing well!!

Sarahjct Sun 06-Jan-08 21:49:15

Good idea Choc. I could conjour conjur magic up a full scale freak out and see where that gets me...

spugs Sun 06-Jan-08 21:51:33

im not overly enjoying this one,
my back and pelivs hurt,
i have heart burn,
im fat,
im covered in thread and varicose veins, and today dd1 asked if i had chicken pox as im so spotty hmm .
was the same with the last two but slightly less and now the novelty has well and truly worn off. [aghhhh smiley]
oh and i cant decide what bloody coloured bugaboo to get and i cant get to sleep at night cos im already thinking about how much the head coming out hurts and i still have 11 weeks to go [bugger smiley]

i could keep going grin

Sarahjct - I find 'I need some sleep and all the other mothers are chatting' quite good in this situation, if you can describe them as 'utter chavs' (to be fair they were) it might help too grin

Dottydot Sun 06-Jan-08 21:53:28

You're definitely not alone... After wanting to be pregnant for several years, I hated it once it happened! Was sick for the whole 9 months, had dreadful heartburn, SPD, and was thoroughly pissed off/miserable throughout it all (and what a pleasure I was to live with). The baby felt like an alien in me - I hated feeling him kick and just wanted him out from the minute I knew he was in there!

The good thing was the feeling of relief once I'd had him - even after an emergency section - at least I wasn't pregnant!! grin

Dottydot - I just can't believe I've chosen to do this again. I think I must have blanked out most of last time. I keep saying to DH 'I'm sure I didn't throw up all the time/fall asleep at 5pm/gain so much weight/have so many spots/have hairy eyebrows' etc. last time. He just rolls his eyes at me because apparently I did all this and worse!

sweetkitty Sun 06-Jan-08 21:58:21

I have NEVER glowed in pregnancy, in fact tonight DP says he hates me being pregnant. I am a miserable whinging pregnant old cow!!!

First 14 or so weeks I hate all food everything makes me feel sick, have to eat to stop being hungry but open fridge go yuck close fridge again.

SPD's is already rearing it's ugly head, agree pregnancy is a pain in the arse for me too (and hips and front of pelvis), hate feeling completely knackered.

Don't get me started on what my skin and hair are doing, my 2yo DD2 keeps putting "cream" on my forehead spots and shouts Mummy got lots of spots!

Still to look forward to are getting huge, heartburn, peeing myself, feeling unable to breathe (and anything else I can think of).

Yes the end justifies the means but I hate being pregnant (this is the last time though ever)!!!

Oh and EVERYONE has advice for the pregnant lady haven't they.

No I never considered ginger biscuits for morning sickness. Wow that's novel.

Really? It's a sign that the baby is healthy that I feel so bad - how fucking wonderful, let's alert the media.

Ooh I shouldn't allow myself to gain too much weight, why's that, scared I'll borrow your jeans lardarse? angry

and my personal favourite:


yurt1 Sun 06-Jan-08 22:03:16

I remember during my 3rd pregnancy my Mum said "oh dear you're not very good when you're pregnant are you?' (after I'd snapped about something).

sweetkitty Sun 06-Jan-08 22:03:19

I think last time I had a Pregnant and Fed up - come a whinge here thread. Might have to make another soon.

tudorrose Sun 06-Jan-08 22:05:31

oh am so glad its not just me! hate hate hate being pregnant - the end cant come quick enough for me and still have 8 weeks to go. but thanks for giving me excuse to finally post something have been lurking on here for weeks like a big fat wimp. very big fat wimp!

I hasten to add I'm only 11 weeks pregnant so I have a lot of whinging time left! grin

Oh and why are piles 'just part of pregnancy' if blokes have them they get them sorted don't they, they are not just told - you can buy some anusol but it's not very good, they may well go after delivery (IN ANOTHER 30 weeks!)

tudorrose Sun 06-Jan-08 22:19:03

still cant believe i chose to do this knowing how crap it was before! both times! never never never ever am i doing it again. ever. i am grumpy, spotty, swollen, aching, tired all the time downright evil cow really. and it was my choice grin

hedgehog1979 Sun 06-Jan-08 22:20:25

and I thought I was the only one who felt like this. I have wanted to be a mum for ever and am 16 weeks into my first pg - DH is an only child so MIL keeps giving me you won't feel like this forever and keeps patting my stomach really hard. I may throw up over the carpet and her soon. My mum is great and warned me when I first found out that she felt like crap for all 9 months of all 4 of her pregnancies.
I thought that what I was feeling was due to the fact that I have been suffering with depression for the last 8 years and have had to cut my medication radically although not altogether - too risky for me.
I am so glad that others feel like this too. Is anyone in the RH area who feels like meeting for a moan and coffee sorry caffeine free beverage?


beforesunrise Sun 06-Jan-08 22:22:38

gosh, so not alone. i get monster eczema everywhere, my back hurts, i have spd so bad i cannot walk, my boobs hurt and sag big time, i am so tired i think i could kill someone, my hair goes all limp and greasy, and i smell funny. seriously.

this would be nothing if it wasnt for those annoying types (my SIL above all) who gushes about how wonderful and womanly she feels and how she would be pregnant all the timeif only there wasnt a baby at the end of it all (seriously).

for me, people who love being pregnant need their head looked at tbh.

i suppose it doesnt help that dh is also quite open about hating my pregnant body!

sweetkitty Sun 06-Jan-08 22:23:42

I'm on number 3 you would think I would have had enough by now.

I think I go on some sort of high after the baby is born partly because I have a beautiful new baby but mostly because I am not sodding pregnant anymore.

MrsJohnCusack Sun 06-Jan-08 22:27:23

I'm shit at it too
I was slightly better second time round though, so there might be some hope for you yet

CHOCOLATEPEANUT Sun 06-Jan-08 22:38:42

I am crap at being pregnant.I am usually a very well person but as soon as the sperm penetrates the egg I start throwing up and dont stop.It comes without warning and i used to be sick in the car all over my clothes often.I end up lighter at full term than the beginning.

I then got spd and had to hump off to physio to be be pulled and prodded.Then piles so sat on a bag of sweetcorn.Gaviscon was carried in a hip flask and in last few weeks when head down I went through a pack of tena ladies a day as every cough (I had reflux so got awful cough) I pissed myself.

When i had dd her legs got jammed in ribs and she broke one.When ds born last month the c section was so brutal as he was stuck one of the trainee nurses had to sit down.


they are soooo worth it!

paddyclamp Sun 06-Jan-08 23:24:04

Pregnancy sucks, and i had it easy compared to most. I hated being fat and i hated having to abstain from all those things!

In fact the main thing that's stopping me having a 3rd child is the fact that i don't think i could bear to be pregnant again wink

daisynova Sun 06-Jan-08 23:43:19

Oh you wonderful person for posting this. I am made to feel guilty and mean at every turn when i mention how much I am hating being pregnant. This is my first (AND LAST) child as it has been so horrendous!

Why does no-one tell you about the bad things before you go and have unprotected sex?????

I have been sick for the full time, have spots, sweat profusely, have a temper to match the Incerdible Hulk, I'm off sex (no wonder!), I hate everyone, food is just another step closer to puking again and if another stranger pats my tummy I fear I will murder them with my handbag!

And to make matters worse my OB/GYN team can't make up their mind about whether to c-section me or induce me! I don't get any choice.

So mean!

lightwind Mon 07-Jan-08 00:17:16

This thread is:

A. so reassuring - thank goodness I'm not the only one... was beginning to think I was a prize wimp in a world full of brave incredibly happy glowing pregnant women

B. hilarious - had to stop myself chortling out loud as dh is asleep next door

I've really really wanted to be pregnant for years and years - had lots of health issues which meant I couldn't be, so when I did finally conceive (I'm 40) I was thrilled to bits. And then reality kicked in.

While I wouldn't go so far as to say I hate being pregnant, I certainly didn't count on it being so bloody hard. I've had severe SPD, thrush, high blood pressure, a blocked nose, morning sickness, perpetual tiredness, insomnia, painful pelvic girdle and hip muscles every night, lousy digestion (constipation, heartburn, IBS, sore bum muscles, lots of wind and more), swollen ankles, feet and calves, carpal tunnel syndrome in both wrists, anxiety attacks during hospital visits, (I suffer from long-term OCD and depression), stress incontinence, a prolonged bout of 'flu and a chesty cough that lasted 8 weeks, a tooth infection, hot flushes, sweaty nether regions, itchy skin and I practically live in the loo. I've had spotty skin, sore breasts, leaky nipples, skin tags in weird places, and I've gained around 16 kilos so far and I'm only 34 weeks. Not to mention not being able to walk without pain thanks to the SPD.

And I'm fed up with being given advice by all and sundry (especially my sis-in-law who is getting on my nerves with her over-solicitous and sickly sweet phone calls, ostensibly to ask how I am... and within minutes she's into preachy and sanctimonious advice mode - she had her first baby 19 months ago so that makes her an expert - she's making me homicidal). I wish people would stop telling me to be cheerful, to listen to good music, to read 'good' books and to eat the the right things. And I'm especially fed up with all the women who come to my pregnancy yoga class and say that they feel 'fine'. I bet they are all delusional/liars/living in a parallel universe.

(Ooh this feels good. Happy venting, everyone.)

minouminou Mon 07-Jan-08 01:06:52

Oh good god i hated it.
Very sick till about week 30, dizziness, rattiness, black depression and the 2006 heatwave, when i HATE heat anyway.
Then, final 6 weeks or so my blood pressure hit the floor, and unless i was walking or lying down, i had a draining/pulling feeling in my head/neck/upper shoulders, i assume this was the blood failing to get up there as well as it should've
other than that, textbook, and a fab healthy DS to boot.
Doing it again sometime this year, but i am SO avoiding the summer.
I remember someone asking me at a party what being pregnant's like (I was about 17 weeks at the time), and i said "boring, nauseating and people spout shit at you".
This is after i was manhandled to the food by the host, and told what i could and couldn't have. To be fair, they'd catered with me in mind, and i was being churlish, but it's just the "you should/'nt do that" thing.
Just fuck off, will ya.

elvisgirl Mon 07-Jan-08 05:56:33

I am 31 weeks & apart from a couple of weeks around week 26 or so it has been shite for me too. As well as all the routine stuff my specific situation had a risk of m/c for the first two trimesters than risk of pre-term labour for the last so that brings added misery. I am praying that bf-ing & looking after the newborn will go relatively smoothly as some sort of karmic compensation but I fear that may be overly optimistic!

franke Mon 07-Jan-08 07:13:30

Oh, I agree with all of you. It's the pits. And fwiw I want to punch consultants whether they call me mum or not. bah!

Beapatient Mon 07-Jan-08 07:57:07

fab post

me too - first timer who's been chucking up since 6 weeks - now 37 weeks. the puking subsided at about 28 weeks slightly but back with a vengeance since start of December. it's projectile in the extreme. had to clean walls of toilet at work a few times. for some reason i carried on at work, apart from when i got so bad i brought up blood and was put on a drip. was rather miffed when non-up the duff
slackers colleagues took days off when they had 'felt sick through the night so won't come in, just in case'.

I have the lardiest baby ever - he/she won't let me eat any fruit. combined with heartburn from hell, constant hiccups i'm a gastric nightmare.

blessed by a skin tag which i keep thinking is actually something i've given birth to it's so big, just on the bikini line / near fanjo. i should add that i was aware there was something there but only managed to contort myself into a position in which i could see HOW BIG it had got a week ago. now it's not dropping off despite the thread i've tied on it.

only blessing is that my skin has not erupted, despite having had spots as a teenager and through most of my 20's. in fact skin has been clear through pregnancy on whole. but surely this just means that i'll suffer with reverse hormones or something when the baby has arrived.

oh, and had to inject myself with the clexane every day due to a previous dvt. fear of needles now gone. and several additional anti-d jabs due to idiot man ploughing into back of my car and tripping over wonky pavement at work and falling on bump.

sympathy for all the grisly side effects. and especially the ginger biscuits comment. i had two colleagues bring some in for me. oh, and the ginger ale. bastards.

dejags Mon 07-Jan-08 08:17:57

I could cheerfully cry.

DS1. was a good pregnancy. I got huge (+4stone), I loved being pregnant. So I stupidly thought, what the hell, I'll have another.

DS2. I felt like crap. I was huge. I ached. I was miserable. I stupidly thought, what the hell, I'll have another.

DD. I puked for 7 long months. I puked in the morning, I puked in the day, I puked in the night, I puked in the small hours of the morning. I had painful braxton hicks from 15 weeks onwards. I had such low bp that I couldn't get up some days (88/44 at one point I truly, truly, truly HATED being pregnant. I wisely thought, I will NEVER have another.

Guess what. I may be pregnant. What on earth was I thinking.

Not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Great thread btw.

spugs Mon 07-Jan-08 08:25:41

were walking adverts for contraception arent we grin

SydneyB Mon 07-Jan-08 08:28:00

What a fantastic thread! I hated being pregnant as was sick all the way through (and all the way through the labour) - was SUCH a relief to feel well again the minute DD was out. And now we're TTC no. 2 and I'd kind of forgotten about it all until reading this thread... hmmm. smile

itscoldtoday Mon 07-Jan-08 08:30:26

I've dusted off my namechange from when I 'outed' myself as a GP because it's pertinent to this thread.

dc1 - morning sickness to 16 weeks, heartburn, rib ache that made sitting a nightmare, the worst insomnia, mood swings, and in my last week of work a patient collapsed and died on their toilet and I had to try and lift her off and begin resuscitation. Thankfully, her daughter arrived, and was happy for her Mum to be left in peace...which just left me with the body to move and the undertakers who refused to come and help shock. But, it being my first pregnancy I still managed to glow with that special feeling for about 10 weeks in the middle.

dc2 - morning sickness to 17 weeks which I battled continuing to feed dc1 through, only for him to self-wean a few weeks later. Terrible back and rib pain again. Wretched insomnia. Tantrumming toddler too. And another patient collapsed on the toilet in my second-last week of work. At least she wasn't dead, but that meant me and my bump did have to manhandle her to the ground and bend over doing what you do in those circumstances. No glow that pregnancy, funnily enough. Haven't decided about more kids, but I don't want to be pregnant again, maybe I can anaesthetise myself for 9 months?!

dejags Mon 07-Jan-08 08:38:35

It should be noted, however, that despite my wretched loathing of being pregnant it was worth it in the end.

My kids are fab smile

BumperliciousIsOneHotMother Mon 07-Jan-08 09:07:52

I was just about to feel sympathy for you WMMC then I read the bit about your size 8 jeans and sympathy went out the window grin

Seriously though, I loathed being pg and wasn't afraid to tell people even though it quickly became apparent it that wasn't "the done thing" to hate being pg and most people thought I was barking hmm

I hated it to the point that I am not sure I could do it again despite wanting another child and I actually often have nightmares about finding out I am pg again! But then dd is on'y 6 months so maybe that'll wear off.

I do think it is good to be honest about these things otherwise you get caught up in this misguided belief that pregnancy is all blooming and glowing, and you should just glide along rubbing your bump beatifically and nodding when people make inappropriate comments about your size/try and offer you advice/mutter something rude about maternity leave.

God why would you do this to yourself woman? WHY?!

sweetbean Mon 07-Jan-08 09:11:07

Well having read all of the post i should think myself lucky as i have had a relativly good time physically but it affects me mentally!
i'm 20 weeks pregnant with my second but i just hate being pregnant i worry all the time about every little thing possible and keep feeling that what ever i do there will be something wrong with the baby or something terrible will happen.
I also felt like something terrible would happen to my DH when i was pregnant with my first and that he would never get to see his baby!
Now with my second i keep feeling that something will happen to our DD.Its an AUFUL feeling and totally consuming! I just don't want to let her out of my sight and know that it will just get worse until i give birth !!sad

So yes i also HATE HATE HATE being pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ConnorTraceptive Mon 07-Jan-08 09:17:40

All day morning sickness - check
Insomnia - check
Low Iron - check
Iron Tablet = constipation - check
Heartburn - check
Tired all the time - check
Snappy and iritable - check
Insomnia - check
Leg cramps - check
Piles - check
Braxton hicks - check
Varicose veins on fanjoshockangry - check

sweetkitty Mon 07-Jan-08 10:04:32

I HATE people that think SPD doesn't exist and I'm sure a lot of the medical profession don't. Most of my family think it's something I have made up to rhyme with STD cos it's funny and they haven't heard of SPD and they have had lots of babies therefore I have made it up.

"A bit of back pain is common in pregnancy"

Is it f**** common (sorry but feel the need to swear) to feel your entire body is going to drop through your pelvis, to scream out at night if you try and turn over, to be in agony walking and getting up from the sofa, to hear and feel your pelvic bones grinding when you walk, oh and all this from about 15 weeks so sod all to do with additional weight???!!!!

Oh give me a support belt that is useless as well.

MuffinMclay Mon 07-Jan-08 10:06:49

This has made me laugh so much. Glad I'm not the only one who hates being pg.

I feel like I've been pg for about 35 years not 35 weeks. And if MIL tells me just once more that 'SIL never made this much fuss...' I may just lose the plot completely.

Never again!

Piggy Mon 07-Jan-08 10:07:49

I am terrible at being pregnant too. I loathe it. I would love to have more children but struggle so much being pregnant so we're sticking with two.

I even commiserate when my friends tell me they are pregnant even when they are over the moon!

rmadley Mon 07-Jan-08 10:17:51

Am with you all on this - 9 weeks left to go on 2nd and most definitely final pregnancy. I just don't think I'm cut out to be pregnant. I can't remember the last time I had a good nights sleep my hips ache so much - if I read one more time that a pillow between my legs will help I will scream hmm - I spend the entire night rearranging pillows - throwing them out of bed, getting them back again. Whilst I don't want the baby to arrive too early I just hope the next 9 weeks fly by.

DANCESwithaMuffinTop Mon 07-Jan-08 10:21:20

OOOOOOOOooohhhhh, I love babies, I love feeling the baby kick but apart from that I was a miserable cow.

I whinged for 9 months because I had terrible back pain
I was only nauseous for 13 weeks but that was bad enough
I put on LOADS of weight
I had heartburn
I had TERRIBLE (sorry dh) wind, all the time!
I spent a good 6 months weeing I'm sure and we don't have a downstairs toilet so I had to drag my lardy butt upstairs just to wee a teaspoon's worth of urinesad

YUK, YUK, YUK. So glad I'm not doing that againsmile

MuffinMclay Mon 07-Jan-08 10:23:41

grin Piggy, I'm the same. When someone announces a new pregnancy, I go through the motions of saying 'congratulations, how wonderful etc', but really I'm feeling so sorry for them having months and months of misery and discomfort ahead.

Beapatient Mon 07-Jan-08 10:28:04

Muffin Mclay, your MIL is a bitch shock

MuffinMclay Mon 07-Jan-08 12:42:55

She has her moments, certainly.grin

motherinferior Mon 07-Jan-08 12:44:42

I loathed every single fecking moment of both my pregnancies. At the stage when the midwife told me to 'relax and enjoy the last stages' I wanted to punch her.

Motherinferior - WTF? 'Relax and enjoy the final stages' of:

- your piles popping out under the pressure
- your pelvic floor finally giving up the ghost
- consultants assessing you as if you are some prize heiffer before announcing they'll be 'taking you in' for induction if you don't go into labour soon
- The absolute exhaustion

For me the only good thing about pregnancy is that I knew there WOULD be an end eventually - and I looked forward to labour pains knowing they would signal an end too all the shitey treatment (ha, how naive was I?) hmm

Personally I would have deliberately spilled my urine sample on her for that!

BTW, our midwifery service now is not allowed to dispose of urine samples for you so you have to take them home once they've dipped them hmm

Which is fine if you remember. Otherwise you have one hell of a smelly bag surprise in a week or so!

MuffinMclay Mon 07-Jan-08 19:15:07

I wondered why the mw kept making me take away my urine. I thought she was just a bit odd. And yes, I keep forgetting to dispose of it when I get home. I only remember it is there when my bag starts to smell a bit funny.blush

throckenholt Mon 07-Jan-08 19:20:00

pregnancy was not my finest moment either - and I don't plan on doing it again.

I do sometimes fantasise about having a serene pregnancy and calm home birth - but know it is never going to be more than an fantasy grin.

MuffinMclay - it's just nasty isn't it. Mine wraps the bottle in a tissue, which would be helpful but she never secures the top correctly so you get a wee-wetted hand as well as a stinky pocket AND she had the audacity to criticise me for putting the pot (they only give you one and you have to reuse it) in the dishwasher as it's 'not very nice for everyone else'. hmm

And then she starts on about the importance of having a clean urine pot!

Christmaxbear Mon 07-Jan-08 20:25:04

Thank you for this tread. Was starting to get broody due to extreme cuteness of 10 month old ds and impending return to work. I am now feeling like I have been saved from nine months of hideousness as it has reminded me well. Dh confessed the other day that the thing that puts him off having a third is the thought of me being pregnant again. Funny how you forget isn't it! wink

Christmaxbear - I didn't remember it all either till that second little blue line appeared. Then like magic my stomach started to churn and I swear my waistline disappeared that very night!

At this rate you'll have seen your last nappy in little over two years. We are all heading back into poopy city for a return visit grin

LOL@having to take your urine sample home, at the hospital I didnt realise they had these special urine sample rooms and was told to go and do a sample, didnt see the window in the toilet for the nurse to give me a pot etc so I was looking in the toilet when she called me grin

And yes, I farking hate beign pg, I can't sleep because of heartburn, and sickness and headaches and beign kicked the f**k out of, I feel sick constantly (even though I'm 27weeks) I am HUGE so out of breath just going up the stairs and have to travel into the city every two flipping weeks from my nice quiet village to see the consultant. angry

dirtygertiefromnumber30 Mon 07-Jan-08 21:27:54

oh GOD, both pregnancies were hideous and Im NEVER doing it again.

My last pregnancy i had severe hyperemesis and was in and out of hospital several times, I lost 2 stone and when i finally started eating again my insides had stopped functioning so i got all blocked up and my dh had to insert pessaries up my backside so i could finally poo again.

Ah yes Dirtygertie - and I bet you thought the intimacy with your DH peaked when you conceived the baby grin

"Darling can you trim my extremely overgrown muff please, I can't see it but we lost the midwife last Tuesday at my checkup and I hear a dull yelling sound under my bump" grin

So glad its not just me, DH says "aren't you happy to be pregant! NO!! I am happy to be having a baby, but the actual pregnancy - no fun at all!!!

Add in:

Urine infections (2 so far and counting), a touch of pre natal depression, becoming stupid at work and making the same mistakes again, and again!!!

AS well as the: tired all the time, sciatic (sp) nerve pain, not sleeping properly, worrying all the time, wind, peeing all the time, feeling sick up to 5 months, etc, etc.

Many many thanks for this thread, its really nice to know that other women are not enjoying it too!!

PurlyQueen Mon 07-Jan-08 21:47:45

WHAT? You are supposed to wash and re-use your urine bottle?

PurlyQueen - round here they will begrudgingly give you a new one if it is cracked or if you have bacteria recurrently showing up in your urine (ie if they think the bottle has not been properly cleaned). But otherwise yes, for the entire pregnancy one bottle per patient.

Anguavonuberwald - I bet you like me have tons of people saying helpful things like 'but you do want a baby don't you?' Well yes, but unlike you I am not floating serenely through nine months of yogic bliss to get there. angry

Oh and my pet peeve this week (and apologies this is going to piss some people off) is the thankfully non-blood relative who said: 'oh yes I had terrible morning sickness for several weeks before I had the abortion, was quite relieved to have it done TBH'. angry sad shock

Disgusting and not helpful on so many levels.

Is that the oxfordshire health trust wmmc? We don't have to reuse ours and I'm in Bicester.
At the hospital I don't even see it, I ahve to leave it on the side in the toilet hmm

VictorianSqualor - lucky thing - we have to take ours to the GP surgery and then cart the pot home again afterwards, only if you are admitted to hospital do you get a new pot.

But it's part of the whole reduction of services in North Oxfordshire. I found out today they no longer do blood testing at the Horton but send it to the Radcliffe and I am summarily BANNED from being treated at the Horton because I am too 'complex' so am being sent back to the Radcliffe.

Frankly the staff are so disillusioned at the Horton I'm not keen to go there.

I turned up for my booking in appt today to find they had no sent any stickers, had no idea who I was, had the file of another lady they were assuming was me, but as soon as they looked me up said: 'ooh we can't treat you, you'll have to wait for your consultant to get in touch' FOR BOOKING FFS!

So where do you go then? Is there a place in Bicester or do you go to the Radcliffe then?

I'm at the JR, could;ve been there or the horton apparently but it's quicker for us to go the back route to the JR than the Horton.
I probably would've been referred there anyway now as I've been sent 'upstairs' to the silver star team.

Ooh I was on Silver Star - they are the veritable dogs wotsits. If you have to have a section see if you can get Victoria to do it - she sews your stomach muscles really tight so you have a flat stomach really soon post partum and no shelf effect.

Have we met btw in RL? Perhaps we should. I'm going to be looked after by Mr Impey - who heads up silver star I think - again this pregnancy.

beforesunrise Mon 07-Jan-08 22:27:25

Oh Muffin, how could i possibly forget the farting? am a farting machine. my dh blanks them out by now, my brothers want to enter me in a competition, and even my 22 months old dd has started saying " no no mamma!".

was back at work today and aghast at the realisation the free for all farting has to stop. what will i do???

also forgot to mention the indignity of wearing those huge contraptions known as maternity bras. my grandma wouldnt be seen dead in them.

and forgot to mention the apparent inability of eating anything at all without spilling it down my front.

to top it all off saw pictures of Helena Bonham Carter in teh guardian at the weekend, humongously pregnant and looking fab. gggrrr and mega grrr.

beforesunrise - you'd look fab too if you had a stylist following you round and an unlimited budget to have maternity clothes made. Us mere mortals have to settle for looking like frazzled versions of the Good Year blimp!

bluedomino Mon 07-Jan-08 23:01:38

God thankyou for this thread. It is hell, a form of torture.
1st pregnancy horrible, she kicked so hard I had a placenta abrubtion thing. Had SPD. Anaemic. Sick morning til night. Back to back. Asking DP to pull me up of the sofa as I'd weed myself again.Bloody office wonderwoman pregnant at same time and sailed through the whole thing making me look like a completely usless cow. Then the birth, contractions every 3 mins for 12 hours plus, sick & diarrhoa, couldn't stand up, baby got stuck, broke bed, DP had one hand under my bum and other holding my ankle on his shoulder, midwife in same position otherside. Midwife hitting panic button and people rushing in and slipping on the blood. 3rd degree tear, episiotimy,no effing painrelief, ventouse, broken coccyxc, remember them trying to cathertirize me (agony), couldn't hold my pointy headed baby as she was all floppy and me too exhausted. Couldn't sign papers for my stiching up. 2 hours in theatre and a haemorrage. Then 8 months to be diagnosed with arthritis due to the birth, in every joint. DD diagnosed with severe allergies at 6 weeks. Oh yes, a wonderous experience I would recommend to anyone with sadistic tendencies. And now my contraception failed due to arthritis meds and I'm having another, but c-section after I broke down & went hysterical in front of the consultant. Its even worse this time. and why do people stare at you?

Bluedomino - well at least you are not alone. Perhaps I should start selling t shirts with the following slogan:

'babies are like cake - we love the results, but can't be faffed with the cooking' grin

biscuitbarrel Tue 08-Jan-08 02:10:26

So sorry for all of you having a shite time of it... but so reassuring to know that here at least, I don't have to pretend to love every sodding moment.

Felt so guilty when we announced the pregnancy, all these lovely folks saying "congratulations", and all I could do was grimace and think "why did no-one warn me about how much this all SUCKS". hmm

cheechymunchy Tue 08-Jan-08 08:28:49

Frickin' fed up here. Baby No.2 is eight weeks away. Varicose veins so bad in one leg and has extended into my poor old vajayjay. Anaemic and low blood pressure so squiffy in the head. I'm quite literally wishing these last 8 weeks away and want to get back to my normal shape. On enforced (yeah right) rest from doctor.
Loved first pregnancy, hate this one.

MuffinMclay Tue 08-Jan-08 09:54:10

The 'taking away your urine' thing is in practice in North Herts too. Luckily, if the nice receptionist is working when I visit, she'll let me have a new bottle from her secret stash.wink

ConnorTraceptive Tue 08-Jan-08 10:21:53

Varicose veins in ungodly places are a whole new kind of discomfort aren't the Cheechy?

To top off everthing I managed to get thrush over new years but couldn't get a doctors appointment. On new years eve I went to the chemist and basically refused to leave until she gave me something. Fortunately she was an understanding kind of soul. Was really pissed of at paying £10 for a tube of canneston though.

Vulgar Tue 08-Jan-08 10:26:15

I really wish Mumsnet had been around when i had my only son 8 years ago.

Extreme morning sickness for 15 weeks
Then SPD straightaway afterwards (hips have never been the same again) NOBODY I knew had even heard of it.
Even my mum said it was because I had left it too late to have a child - i was 37 FGS! shock
Depression, paranoia -most because people STARED at this enormous woman on crutches. angry
Agorophobia - ditto above.
Extremely large -put on 4 and half stone -probably because I didn't leave the house much!
Aminoentesis at 20 weeks (stress)
And if anyone cooed over me or touched my bump, i wanted to punch their lights out.

Of course, there were 3 other woman I worked with who just sailed through pregnancy like a breeze. envy
Whomovedmychocolate and everyone else-you have ALL my sympathies and I wish you well!.

mumofk Tue 08-Jan-08 11:26:09

Ohhhhhhhh So glad to hear it. All of it. I'm not even feeling that bad compared to everyone. Just got back from the drs who's said 'have a few days off work, you'll feel better next week'. Why? I'm only 24 weeks, I'm not having it this week (I hope!), as far as I can tell next week I'll feel worse, even fatter, more heartburn (though he did eventually prescribe ranitidine), more back pain, sore boobs, sore SI joints and even more exhausted. Yesterday I came in from work, nodded off on the sofa, woke up and nearly cried when I realised I couldn't understand what DD was saying- 2 yrs, and you have to concentrate to get some words. I couldn't understand. Why does pregnancy do this to us? Why do the hormones make us forget how horrible it REALLY is? What kind of nutter am I doing it again? I know,I should be grateful how lucky I am, DH is an angel doing Everything around the house (I washed up 2ce last week), DD will sleep most of the night, we don't have major financial worries right now, but I feel miserable. Actually, I think I'd better go to bed.
Sorry for the rant, just feel soooo helpless, out of control, and ATM bump wriggles aren't making me smile and get over it.

MrsHOP Tue 08-Jan-08 11:45:07

this has made me laugh and laugh - thanks guys, it's so nice to know I am not alone, esp. in the farting! DH even had the cheek to say he was sick of me blaming them and my awful mood swings on being pregnant - cue another instant mood swing!

No, we havent met wmmc, we'll definitely have to when I actually decide I dare leave the house again grin

My cons is Katherine Greenwood and the doc is Dr Redman, both seem nice enough, the cons was a bit scary at first but after a bloody hormonal woman crying in her office about not wanting a CS she became less formidable!

RUMPEL Tue 08-Jan-08 12:29:35

WHOMOVED - yep me too. I am on no 2 child, no 4 pregnancy.

Nauseous, vomiting, diarrhoea, severe headaches, fecking dreadful annoying exhausting insomnia, stuffed up nose, nose bleeds, breath that smells like feaces, yukky teeth, aggggg!

Irritable legs and everything else. Dying of thirst but water makes me boke in the day so end up drinking pints at night and consequently, even if I could sleep, I need to pee about 4 times during the night.

Am so ghost like with red rimmed eyes, that my poor elderly and retired neighbours popped over yesterday to give me their tel no ' Just in case I need anyuthing as they are out and about a lot'! We've just moved here and I have hardly been out as I feel so ill and faint easily - neighbours must think I have some awful illness blush

I DETEST with a vengence the way I smell - my urine stinks and is all cloudy, I have to hold my nose when I poo (I invested in a swimming nose boggle but have lost it)DD's nappies are vomit inducing. A big black bucket stays by my side.

My SIL fell pregnant 3 months after me with DD and postively GLOWED, lost weight, felt great (after intial yukky feeling), hair was fab, LOST weight!!! Had a great labour envy

Everyone kept saying 'You've had such a rubbish pg probably your labour will be good' Nope. 36 hours, back to back, extreme vomiting, syntocinon drip, tear, snapped umbilicol cord, theatre.

Then I had the worst constipation EVER. My first poo actually blocked the toilet and I had to fish it out wearing 2 pairs of rubber gloves!!! shock blush Then after that it was so bad that DH had to call the GP and I had to get pessaries and anaesthectic cream for my anus!!!!

The joys!! I am trying to focus on July when LO will be here. I would love 3 kids but there is no way on God's earth that I am doing this again. I don't want my DD to be an only child though, so hence this pg.

You feel so guilty feeling like this though, as we are so lucky we can conceive blush Look at all the people who can't.

I am an EXPERT whinger grin Just ask DH

RUMPEL Tue 08-Jan-08 12:31:12

Hmm - pregnancy brain too - suppositories not pessaries.

LOL Rumpel, I am on my third, was convinced after my first I'd never have another, then breezed through pregnancy with my second, now I remember why DD was going to be an only child angry
Thing is, I actually want another after this one I must be mad!

sagitta Tue 08-Jan-08 12:47:45

Thanks for this thread. It's made me feel much better. I keep telling DH that I can't remember it being this bad last time - but apparently it was. I was thinking of asking the GP this week if I actually have a terminal illness as I feel so fecking tired all the time, but this thread has reassured me its just normal pregnancy...Who TF thought up the term 'blooming' for pregnancy?

RUMPEL Tue 08-Jan-08 12:51:51

Remember ladies:

'Pregnancy is NOT an illness' - obviously a statement shat forth from a man's mouth angry

dillinger Tue 08-Jan-08 12:52:46

Im almost 30 weeks with baby number 2. Morning sickness this time was so much worse than before, Ive got the worst moods EVER, everything is getting on my nerves and Ive got no patience. Im fed up having to wear bloody stretchy trousers, the most unflattering things ever, and bras that are a touch too big but ''its best that you go with these ones so youve got room to grow''. My 'maternity' combats from dorothy perkins stopped fitting ages ago, and my 'maternity' jeans from blooming marvellous are starting to torture me. I hate my big arse, chunky thighs and swollen ankles.

I cry when the house is messy and if I cant think of what to do for dinner. Im waking up loads in the night, and not getting to nap during the day. My hair is all 'static' and wild, and my scalp is crazy. Im hotter than everyone else and out of breath half the time.

Roll on march!

RUMPEL Tue 08-Jan-08 12:53:16

Any first timers out there - if you are at all worried about labour - I would rather go through the labour again than the pg thing. In labour you can get drugs and it is a much shorter process than pg smile

gillythekid Tue 08-Jan-08 13:33:16

I am sitting here pissing myself (with laughter, thank God!) This is my first time. I've felt SHITE from day one, my usually perfect skin is flaky, I could fry chips in my hair, I feel like I'm on board a tugboat in a force 9 gale, I've now got a cold and am coughing up green yuk without the usual Covonia and Lemsip aid. I'm flying to NZ in 5 weeks and might go mental if I'm not feeling just a little better. I think I'm crap at being pregnant but am only 12 weeks today so may be a little early to tell!!

MsJJ Tue 08-Jan-08 13:39:55

No-one told me about the period type pains! I'm 35 weeks and for the past week have been having really sore cramps on top of the general pelvic pain - is this Braxton Hicks or just the general loosening up of ligaments?

What p*sses me off most is that DH makes frequent comments about me moaning - which I didn't think I was doing, well not excessively. Thought when he asked how I was I could be honest and say I'm knackered and am in pain...apparently not. And I'm fed up being at work and putting a smiley face on it. I want this baby out and soon, cannot bear the thought of potentially another 6 or g*d help me 7 weeks of this.

gr1973 Tue 08-Jan-08 13:40:50

god, this is funny. I knew pregnancy was a huge big con. At 16 weeks I'm still waiting for the 'i love being pregnant' bit to kick in and now I know it never will LOL!!!

I'm not even feeling particularly ill but I hate the fact that if I stay up late I feel almost hungover the next day because I'm so tired, people asking me if I'm excited (I was when I saw the blue line but that was nearly *3 months ago*), telling me that I should eat ginger biscuits (no, my morning sickness is over, thanks).

I also hate the fact that I couldn't drink over Christmas and New Year despite going to various parties etc. I'm not a raving alcoholic but being out with a whole bunch of people who are getting just a wee bit merry and telling me that my sobriety is 'worth it' isn't too much fun.

Oh and I'm really fed up of my cheeks being dry and flaky (and they hurt when I moisturise them?) and having a runnier nose that a pete doherty and amy winehouse lovechild.

gr1973 Tue 08-Jan-08 13:42:27

MsJJ - of course I forgot, one of the 'benefits' of pg is no period pains for 9 months. I suffer with excrutiating period pains and lo and behold you still get them (but without superstrength nurofen to take the edge off).

peacemakeruk Tue 08-Jan-08 14:05:16

Its so good to hear the that I'm not the only one who isn't good with pregnancy. My DH thinks its sad that I don't enjoy it but whats to enjoy?????

1st pregnancy - Pre-eclampsia (in and out of hospital for the whole 9 months and kept in for the last month of pregnancy)

2nd pregnancy - High blood pressure, low lying placenta so bleeding off and on necessitating more staying in hospital. C-section which I hated every minute of but given no choice.

3rd pregnancy - High blood pressure, DVT so twice a day injections and SPD. 2nd c-section which was worse than the 1st due to scar tissue.

Would dearly love another but I would HAVE to have a c-section and I've heard horror stories about 2+ sections so am thinking long and hard about it.

Sarahjct Tue 08-Jan-08 14:10:43

Y'know, suddenly the thought of induction doesn't seem so scary...

The whole business is a pile of poo and I hereby state now, publicly, in front of you all, that I am NEVER going to do this again and, when I meet DD sometime in the next 48 hours, I'm going to kick her up the bum for all the grief she's caused.

And then I'm going to leave the hospital, come home and eat all the mince pies and chocs that the bitch-nurse-from-hell at the hospital told me to stay away from over Christmas.

And then I'm going to win the lottery and invest my winnings into pioneering research that'll mean that men can carry the foetus/foetus can be grown in a handbag.


CatIsSleepy Tue 08-Jan-08 14:16:07

oh I was lousy at being pregnant

back-ache, all-over-ache, wind and heartburn, insomnia, nasty dry hair, burst capillaries all over my shoulders and chest, swollen ankles...

I didn't glow I festered grin

Sufi Tue 08-Jan-08 17:49:59

Pregnancy sucks. On top of everything else listed above, I'd like to add:

I got a hairy belly, back and nips (I turned in to Monkey Mummy. My DP stroked my back in what I thought was a loving mannner kast week, when in fact he was just trying to comb it flat...
Boobs that itched for 26 weeks
Dropping food down my front, it getting lodged between my enormous norks and then finding said food again, several days later
I smelt of cheese
I cried ALL THE TIME, which was somewhat hampered by the fact that I was simultaneously out of breath ALL THE TIME

I was so pleased not to be pregnant that I fairly skipped down the corridor after DS1 was born (even with the stitches).

And when DP bought a Baby Bjorn papoose thing I refused to wear it, as having a baby strapped to my front is far too like being pg again...

I'd love another LO but just don't think I'll be able to face going it again!

Loving this thread - thank you!!

sophus Tue 08-Jan-08 18:50:49

i love my son with every ounce of my being, i hated every last second of being pregnant, i desparetly want three children but the thought of being pregnant sgain fills me with dread. Cloning???

Victorian Squalor - Katherine attempted and failed to break my waters (amateur grin). So did Dr Redman. It took a small delegation of consultants to find my cervix though. Actually I remember Katherine was very nice, although I think I may have booted Dr Redman in the face blush grin

merryberry Tue 08-Jan-08 20:07:23

my addition to the list of loathing is wtf does it do to your immune system and such like? with ds1 my thyroid stopped working. this time round i've had no immune system, culminating in a 3 week pleurisy centring on the pain in my ribs where the feet of ds2 rest.

and then as i crawled out from under that i tweaked an ankle due to the relaxin and coudn't weight bear for 2 days.

roll on march, roll on never doing it again.

Rumpel yeah - WTF are those BITS in the urine? I did ask the midwife but she didn't know! It's just icky. I always try and drink loads of water first so it looks less like scrumpy but its got a definitely Olde English tinge about it.

My pet peeve over christmas was being forbidden stilton! I made my DH go out after DD was born and find a shop with stilton and bring me some in the recovery room!

Rumpel, that poo thing happened to me too...blocking the loo cos I'd been so constipated to go for days, was while I was PG though. Just stood there and thought...how the fuck am I getting rid of this..what with the perpetual vomiting, there was no way I was lifting it out...yuck. Lol...the one pregnancy story I've never told anyone.blush
This is a fab thread, I absolutely hated being pregnant, total nightmare of gastric awfulness! Heartburn, vomiting, constipation, wind. Snored for Britain to, from the minute I conceived, dh used to be able to hear me from the front gate when he was on backshift.

Dying to do it again though. shock

micegg Tue 08-Jan-08 21:48:59

Thanks everyone grin grin.

Hilarious thread. I hate this pregnancy lark too. Hate the size I get to, the thread veins, the constant stupid comments from other people, the bras, not being able to see your belt when you put your jeans on, having to lift your leg onto the other leg just to put your jeans on, the breathlesness and the cnstant struggle to get up with a 2 year old whingeing "carry me, carry me". The list is endless. I am only 28 weeks and utterly bored by the whole thing. Am absolutley enormous which doesnt help.

micegg Tue 08-Jan-08 21:50:35

and especially hate that i have started peeing myself when i cough or sneeze which is a regular occurence as my immune system is shot to pieces and i ahve had a constant cold since september.

bluedomino Tue 08-Jan-08 21:53:40

...oh and today my right leg has started giving way when I stand up, can only walk like a crab. GP given me diazapam to stop muscle spasms but I can't take it as alone in house with DD, DP in work having fun with no wheeble women probably. F*ing SPD. Can't get special tights on, and got volvo veins.
I want to do DP vasectomy myself as payback.

PurlyQueen Tue 08-Jan-08 23:00:58

hee hee, my immume system has gone into hiding. I have had more colds and coughs over the last two months than I have had in the last five years - and to top it off I came down with a stomach bug last month.

rmadley Wed 09-Jan-08 09:18:44

micegg, your post could have been written by me . Almost 32 wks now but have been feeling the way your feeling for about the last 6-8 weeks

BumperliciousIsOneHotMother Wed 09-Jan-08 09:24:42

I love the whole "pregnancy is not an illness" thing, no really I do.

It's not an illness when you throw up everyday for 2 months (if you're lucky) and still have to go into work feeling like you have the hangover from hell despite not being allowed to touch a drop of alcohol. And you're just imagining that your ligaments hurt so much you can barely walk. And those fluttery little baby kicks that actually feel like the baby has wedged it's foot between your ribs, and what ever it does with it's hands that makes it feel like it is trying to dig it's way out.

Veering between narcoleptic like tiredness and pregnancy insomnia (with for the record it not adequate preparation for the sleepless nights with a newborn). Heartburn, piles, itchy skin, not to mention a mental health so fragile you make Kerry Katona look normal. Plus the heart stopping fear that grips you when you worry that something might go wrong. Then the equally blood chilling fear when you thing that what if it actually all does go right and you end up with a baby - then what the frig do you do? Did I miss anything, oh yeah - labour. Like pushing a grapefruit through a nostril, and boys you don't know the meaning of the phrase "ring of fire" (having the runs after a chicken jalfrezi is not the same thing at all). That's before mentioning the sheer exhahaustion of pushing your insides out and having your most delicate bit of skin ripped to shreds then sewn up never to be the same again ("but that's why they call it labour dear").

"But at the end of it all you'll have a baby..." Yeah that's not really looking like a plus side at the moment.

Not an illness? My fricking, torn and resculpted arsehole it's not an illness.

Bring back confinement that's what I say! Then we can just take to our beds, be waited on hand & foot in a big house in the country away from all the annoying buggers who say "It's not an illness you know"

sazzybeehomeforxmas Wed 09-Jan-08 09:35:05

So good to know I'm not alone!

After hideous morning sickness, a massive bleed at 15 weeks, suspected obstetric cholestasis in my 2nd trim and pre-eclampsia and polyhydramnios in my third, I couldn't wait to get the baby out. But I wish someone had told me that my SPD wouldn't magically disappear the moment I'd stopped being pregnant. My hips were still a bit painful afterwards but was convinced they would be improving. But one week after my DS was born, I stood up and found I couldn't put any weight on my left leg at all. Absolute bloody agony.

Never again!

spackcat Wed 09-Jan-08 09:37:06

"My fricking, torn and resculpted arsehole it's not an illness." - ROFL bumper!!grin

sweetbean Wed 09-Jan-08 10:08:13


WELL SAID !!!!!! xx

ROFL Bumper (of course you do realise we've all pissed ourselves now don't you hmm grin)

I went to collect my forgotten booking stickers today and they said: 'we've given you extra because you ran out so often last time' angry Yeah, like I was papering the walls with them!

DonDons Wed 09-Jan-08 20:27:51

Agree with everyone but nobody mentioned CM running down your legs......just me then blush

Staceyk Wed 09-Jan-08 20:50:02

Hi 34 weeks pg here, and have extremeley swollen nether regions! I have mentioned to midwife several times, and they just said quiet common to have varicous (sorry spelling) veins. Starting to worry not normal, as seriously seriously swollen, can anyone else share their experiences on this rather delicate subject, to make me feel less abnormal or not as the case may be?

mum2sons Wed 09-Jan-08 21:12:36

On no.3 here, 39 weeks, spotty, fat, celullite from head to toe, fecking piles, hairy (look like something from "where the wild things are"), saggy tits,horrendous heartburn pelvis killing, 3 am waking and unable to go back to bed, weeing every half hour. To top it all I have a toddler who will not go to bed, and night wakes getting into our bed, kicking my huge pregnant tummy all night.

I am having another homebirth too...huh! What a serene haven of calm it is here.hmm. a 12 year old who is dreading accidently seeing his mother's bits, toddler who keeps trying to burst the birthing pool and is like a manic dervish, (D)H who keeps moaning how tired he is.

oh and the fecking same questions over and over from everyone:
do you know what you are having?
any twinges?
20 texts a day: have you had the baby yet?
oh a homebirth; your`e brave..
still here then?
won't it traumatise the children you having it at home?
etc etc etc

I am sick of it all, ahhhhhhh!!!

FlameNFurter Wed 09-Jan-08 21:21:55

oooh this thread makes me feel much better grin

I love the idea of pregnancy, but in reality I am a terrible pregnant woman.

I am sick if I drink milk (which I crave), I need at least 23 hours sleep a night to feel human, I cry very easily (I do that anyway, but I cried hysterically, big snotty tears, over a lack of peas once when pregnant)

I had the whole "it's not an illness" from the work nurse when I was pregnant with DD. I had HG, I kept being signed off work, struggling in in between signings off, only to throw up, look hideous, be sent back down to the nurse who would inform me that I was "only" pregnant and it wasn't an illness. I don't think I was wrong in wishing a 40 week stomach bug on her that she had to work through.

Oh, and to add to it I get the fabulous treat of antenatal depression, so when I get a break from wanting to pass out with tiredness or throw up, I am wanting to slit my wrists.

DD was a 44 week pregnancy. With DS I started whinging about wanting him out by 37 weeks because it was fair - I had done the full 80 week total therefore I should be allow to stop being pregnant NOW. Git held in there until my due date.

Hmmm... that was a nice rant. I was feeling broody until that! grin

BumperliciousIsOneHotMother Wed 09-Jan-08 21:31:44

Stacey probably worth starting a new thread on that for more responses. Don't worry there are very few taboo subjects on mumsnet! (FWIW I think one of the girls on my antenatal thread had them)

toomanyshoes Wed 09-Jan-08 21:40:54

had my second baby 2 weeks ago and am on a massive high - mostly due to no longer being pregnant! Was the same last time, everybody told me the first six weeks with a newborn would be a nightmare but i loved every second - so much easier than pregnancy. When pg I feel about 80, can barely walk, feel like shite and cannot sleep. I really enjoyed both my births and could go through that bit again tomorrow but no way on earth will i ever get pregnant again!
Nice to know I'm not alone grin

spicemonster Wed 09-Jan-08 21:57:36

FlamenFurter - I cried once at Waitrose because the man in front of me had put his briefcase on the conveyor belt so I had to wait 30 extra seconds for it to move along before I could put my shopping down blush

ernest Wed 09-Jan-08 22:07:14

I've been crying inconsolably so much this pg. I was listening to 'perfect day' yesterday and tried to tell ds2 it reminded me of when I had him as a baby and got so choked up I was unable to speak. I was crying my eyes out driving along and was nowhere to pull over.

cried during eastenders hmm

cried when telling dc's the nativity story (?)

Cired during robin hood, and at the same time thinking how crap it was.

depressing to read all you lot saying you're 37/38/39 weeks. I'm only bloody 17 weeks, and the sciatica is so bad. I cannot recline (lounge on settee/read in bed

and ine crazy worrying about minutae. Obv. worrying constantly about the Big Stuff, birth defects, misscarriage etc, but worrying about the school bus of the school my children don't even attend yet, whether to go for the extorionatly school dinners, trying to estimate if distance from boot to kitchen in new house will be significantly more than current house.

I really recommend emigrating and pregnancy. Really focuses your mind at 3 in the morning.

mum2sons Thu 10-Jan-08 03:55:17

Oh joys, it is 4am and I am here, wide awake and have just cleaned the kitchin floor shock What a shame men don't have babies.

BumperliciousIsOneHotMother Thu 10-Jan-08 08:55:32

When I was pg I cried in waitrose because they didn't have the pasta sauce I wanted!

Cried because my toddler wasn't walking and then cried because she started walking and 'didn't need me anymore' hmm

PussinJimmyChoos Thu 10-Jan-08 09:24:09

Wind??? <scratches out lunch with WMMC at Easter from diary>

wink grin

Rosylily Thu 10-Jan-08 09:37:39

hee hee, very funny thread reminds me that I'm so glad I'm not pregnant! I've had four and after I give birth to them I'm ecstatic to be 'unpregnant'
Now in hindsight, 9 months is not a long time, but it seems to drag when you are in it.

hee hee I love being unpregnant.....
oh and of course when I look at ds3 chuckling and rolling about the floor with ds2 like puppies, it was worth it!

sigh, carry on....

Oyyy pusscat - I'll be past that point by then and onto the actively leaking wee stage grin

Something I just decided is good about pregnancy. grin
The tesco lady bringing the shopping into your house so you dont have to bend/lift and then being able to leave it all whislt you sit down and eat a packet of haribos cos it will 'probably stop you feeling sick mummy' grin

bumperliciousisonehotmother, have nominated you for quote of the week!

helenpettigrew Thu 10-Jan-08 12:20:59

BRILLIANT BRILLIANT and hilarious thread - wish that this had been written a few weeks ago. It would have cheered me up no end.

I finally gave birth at the end of December after 9 revolting months! I got so fed up with people who told me to enjoy it and that I wouldn't know sleep deprivation until after the birth (I suffered horrendous insomnia, non-stop-heartburn, piles, night-time dribbling (don't ask!), and sickness the whole of my pregnancy - the insomnia was the worst). I have to say Ladies, that in spite of a long and tricky labour and all that a 12 day newborn demands - I HAVEN'T FELT THIS WELL since before conception! It's heaven!!! So just remember this and ignore everyone who tries to tell you HOW YOU FEEL. They're idiots, even if they mean well. PAH!

Good luck everyone - it is actually worth it in the end! You won't want to hear that though!!! xxx

fluffymummy Thu 10-Jan-08 15:07:03

I love you all...thank you for making me feel less alone! I'm due in 12 days and have been having a miserable time without ever being ill enough to have anything proper to whinge about....legs that look like tree trunks, been sick or feeling sick for 9 months, barely sleeping, feel like total poo, grumpy, hormonal, piles etc etc - and have been feeling really guilty for not 'enjoying' the pregnancy....oh well, thank god today is my last day in the office!! grin

BumperliciousIsOneHotMother Thu 10-Jan-08 15:18:14

Thank you angua blush probably too sweary though, and everyone will just think it's pregancy hormones angry and i'm not evening pg LOL!

mellymell Thu 10-Jan-08 16:20:01

Hilarious thread and absolutely true. Am pg with no 2 and thanking god that after this, that will be it. So far, not so bad, but am really (not) looking forward to agonising hips which wake me up 4x a night and require me to wave my bottom in the air to relieve the pain.

One plus point is being a rather solidly built 5ft 9" normally, it is nice not having to worry about my waistline getting larger and getting fat like the skinny-jims who suddenly realise they have thick ankles and have traumas becuase they can no longer fit into their size zero clothes. ha!

Ooh, just thought of another thing I hate about pregnancy - the fact that anyone feels they can place their hands on you, whether you've been introduced to them and know their mother's maiden name or not. I just want to say 'gerroff'.

mellymel - keep away from Greece then - I went there first pregnancy and no bugger warned me that greek men think it is lucky to rub a pregnant woman's belly. I decked four of them before someone tipped me off blush

Having said, they seem to find an angry pregnant lady a very attractive prospect in the main hmm

Bumperlicious, well you didn't make it to quote of the week, but still a brilliant sentance.

Love this thread.

Oh yes HelenPettigrew - the Night time dribbling, What fun that is!!!!

daisynova Thu 10-Jan-08 21:45:23

And to add to my list of complaints I am now fainting often! Got a lovely set of bruises, scrapes and a sprained wrist to show for the one today!

Ernestina Fri 11-Jan-08 07:47:28

Oh thank god! All I seem to hear from others is "oh, I loved being pregnant" which, forgive me, makes me want to punch them.

Am 39 weeks now. Have had immovable chest infection and cough since October despite several rounds of antibiotics. So have essentially been incontinent for last three months. Nice!

Not to mention constant agonising heartburn despite keeping Gaviscon in business all by myself. And greasy hair, more spots than I've ever had in my life, skin tags, sweat rash, wind, alternating constipation/runs, hip pain, insomnia etc etc.

And people who come over for dinner and say "ooh, I've brought flowers because you can't drink, can you?".

And people who ask "how's baby?" Arrggh! Shall we ask him? Do you think he can communicate verbally yet?!

And why do maternity clothes only fit until 34 weeks? I'm really enjoying only having two outfits left that actually fit, one of which is the inevitable tracksuit bottoms.

Oh, and maternity/nursing bras. Ugghh. What is going on there? Went to M&S yesterday and only ones in my size were a two pack of hideous bras - one pale yellow, one pale pink. Why??!!!!! Are they trying to guarantee I never have sex again?! grin

Bouncingturtle Fri 11-Jan-08 07:50:18

I hated the fact that after about 30 weeks i needed a bloody crane to roll over in bed!!
Oh and the heartburn! And the projectile vomiting up to about 20 weeks which sometimes caused me to pee myself it was so violent blush
Part of me misses being pg, but only a tiny bit.

Ernestina - I think your complaint that maternity clothes that fit till 34 weeks is a tad optimistic in some people's cases. My 'maternity' jeans are too tight on my bump despite fitting everywhere else. ARRRGH

You can get nice nursing bras but they all give you bugger all support.

I'm with you in the maternity jeans stakes, I've had to buy a 16 to fit round my bump but could have comfortably worn a 12 sad
Mind you said bump is the size of a house.

I'm having to wear a size 12 and it's too small on the bump and hangs off my arse and makes me look like Bob the sodding builder. The only thing that could possibly look less attractive is if I decided to wear dungarees!

Sarahjct Fri 11-Jan-08 14:11:13

Glad to see you're all still here! Posting from the hosp - had LO yesterday and I wanted to add that, despite a baby that hates my bosoms, 2nd degree tear and stitches and a fanjo that feels the size of a small continent, I haven't felt this normal in months!! My backache and bumpache have disappeared, I can lie on my huge wobbly belly and wear trousers round my waist a la Simon Cowell if I so desire. So hold on girls, pregnancy really is harder than any of it. I'm glad that's me done... grin

motherinferior Fri 11-Jan-08 14:13:26

Oi Sarah! Fabulous! You done a birth announcement???

mellymell Fri 11-Jan-08 15:45:26

many congrats Sarahjct.

mamalala Fri 11-Jan-08 15:58:53

dear girls,

thanks for that! really cheered me up. i've got dreadful dark circles, sagging boobs, huge belly, can't sleep comfortably,back hurts and i feel knackered but in good company clearly.

well i was feeling sorry for myself having hauled my sorry ass back over here after spending a week with dh with nearly 3 year old and luggage with all the fun of numb bottom on the pane and going to the loo with toddler and bump- hmmmm.

then getting from heathrow to gatwick and my poorly boy who was sick on the bus and now you've made me laugh my 27 week(? oh dear-second time i've lost count.due 2nd april) head off.

second time is so much harder!

whilst i'm here, anyone ever offered you their own medical advice doe your own child? red mist moment. My little boy was coughing a lot and random MAN told me to take him to the doc or he might get pneumonia. Nice. Thanks. And I nearly brained some queue jumpers. They nearly didn't let me on the flight on the way out with no doctor's note... My mum said- ooh I expect you'll get special treatment on the plane as you're pregnant with a toddler. Yeah, nearly banning us from going...

I was v lucky to be able to go and not to have to cook or wash for a week, but oh dear january is not much fun is it once you come back.

thank you thank you for easing the pain... only now i've eaten an industrial sized chocolate bar and all the fun is ending. And dh is away for 2 1/2 weeks still. http://www.mumsnet.com/te/3.gif

so 2nd time round i am vast and i have no idea how anyone manages with 2!

there it's all out now.http://www.mumsnet.com/te/1.gif

Congrats SarahJCT envy

mamalala - I feel your pain, I just had to pay Brittany Ferries an extra £80 because I had to shift my booking forward three weeks to fit in with their stupid rule that you can't travel once you are 28 weeks! Apparently the boat might rock and you'd have a baby hmm

Charls Fri 11-Jan-08 20:53:38

I'm 29 weeks into my 2nd pregnancy after a whopping 12 year gap!! am I mad I ask myself?
I have had a fairly ok pregnancy this time round, had the usual 12 weeks of sickness, hospitalised for 2 days with a sickness bug, on a drip for 14 hours. My tolerance levels have gone to pot as I find myself screaming inside at the most ridiculous things that I wouldn't usually get the hump about, I also gave up smoking 3 weeks before I fell pregnant which hasn't helped the mood swings!
My hair has also gone greasy and limp and my face has developed teenage spots again,I'm so pale I look like I've had every ounce of blood drained out of me.Finally I have got through the constipation and now have f*ing piles. The answer to my question am I mad, well I think i'll leave that upto you!!!!

FatSeal Tue 09-Feb-10 01:09:07

I feel (a bit) better just listening to all the rants....

Currently up with insomnia, heartburn, and panic about the insensitive muppet of a consultant we met this pm.

30 weeks and still feeling sick :-(

First pg was fine in the middle, all glowing and lovely, so what went wrong this time then?!!!

This is it, the last time, never again.


helenwombat Tue 09-Feb-10 02:04:08

Hating it - PUPPPS rash - burning, itcy - tried everything, just spreads to other body parts rather than improving. Doctors & midwives don't have a clue. Don't know what to do with myself. Not sure I can cope much longer.

I've felt a bit bleurgh for the first 19 weeks but I can't tell people (except my mum, sister and DH) the truth because then I feel guilty for even contemplating complaining. And anytime I've hinted that I'm not feeling so good I see a look on their faces which tells me I'm raining on their parade...

I love the fact that I'm pregnant and I'd happily be ill for the remainder of the time if it meant that baby was healthy and happy in there. But I draw the line at implying I'm 'glowing' and 'bursting with energy'. I'm convinced that 'the glow' really is just a myth perpetuated by those in society who like to romanticise pregnancy...perhaps I'm wrong and 'the glow' will arrive at 20 weeks...but that's what I think at the moment! grin.

mampam Tue 09-Feb-10 10:10:07

I'm soooooo glad I'm not alone.

1st = 14 weeks of puking my guts up and then bliss. I felt on top of the world and unstoppable. Age 19.

2nd = 26 weeks of feeling sick and vomiting but not as bad as previous pregnancy. Very heightened sense of smell which made it worse. SPD and felt very, very low. (Was diagnosed with PND afterwards). Baby born at 42+1 after induction. Traumatic birth ending with 3rd degree tear. Age 23

3rd and currently 24 weeks = Severe Hyperemesis until 16 weeks, super heightened sense of smell which stopped me going downstairs, was in bed for over 8 weeks, felt like death warmed up. Get out of sick bed to discover I have very painful SPD. Been signed off work since end of October, now signed off until end of pregnancy. Hobble around, can't sleep due to pain and am unable to do anything at all. Not even housework. Nightmare. Age 30

I too agree with whoever it was that said if they could buy a baby ready made on ebay they would.

My 1st 2dc are with me exH. This baby is my DH's 1st child. I would love to be able to give him another child but there's no way I can go through this ever again. We have already spoken about adoption.

I look awful too. Dry, spotty skin, lank, frizzy hair, dark circles under my eyes.

I find it extremely annoying when people say things like...."I didn't suffer at all with morning sickness" or "I loved being pregnant" or "It'll all be worth it in the end". F*cking annoying! angry

fernie3 Tue 09-Feb-10 10:15:18

I am like that too, Im grumpy already and sick of the midwife calling me Catherine (not my name).

God I remember this thread first time round. And here I am pg again and thinking 'never again'.

MrsDmamee Tue 09-Feb-10 10:40:54

ive been moaning, whinging and aching for 20 weeks and ive still 20 more weeks of moaning to go.
so far this pg has been my worst, MS/SPD/random aches/ round ligment pain.

and if anyone asks me how i am i tell them angry
im even fed up listening to me, i cant wait for it to be over in june...then im never doing this again. i'd probably break in half if i did.
DH is trying his best though to just listen without commenting because commenting really doesnt help
and patting me on the top of my swollen bloated belly doesnt help either. 2 people have done this in the past week and i was close to snapping "stop whacking me in my bloated intestines there is no baby way up there!!!!!!"angry

ive given up buying the baby mags because they are a load a rubbish, im constantly grumpy and ive gone off all my favourite food and i cant even indulge myself in cake,biscuits and choccy cos ive gone off them tooangry

the joys eh?

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow Tue 09-Feb-10 10:52:21

brilliant thread. I too am terrible at being pregnant. Pelvis felt like it was falling apart from 19 weeks, and I was so tired I couldn't move. Lovely varicose veins, headaches, constant puking, olympic insomnia, awful awful bitch to my DP blush, and beached myself on the sofa for the last 7 weeks.

How I'm going to do it this time round I don't know! wtf was I thinking!

Nikalah Tue 09-Feb-10 16:12:01

Absolutely hilarious thread! Cheered me up no end.... barely ventured out of the house in 8 weeks....

I would love to be put into an induced coma, brought out and handed a lovely chubby clean baby. or even better the handbag thing.... especially if it was grown in a light grey leather miu miu bag.

thedollshouse Tue 09-Feb-10 16:14:30

You are not alone. I am on my second pregnancy and it will definitely be my last, there is no way I could go through this again.

mampam Wed 10-Feb-10 10:11:05

Just to add, a friend of mine has commented on FB how the only pain relief his wife had when giving birth to their DS was Paracetamol. FFS!!!!!!!

Smitchy Wed 10-Feb-10 18:49:29

Oh my word, this is the thread for me. I can't stop moaning to my other half - I am 35 weeks and have awful heartburn all the time, can't sleep and am fed up of being fat!!! This is my second baby and it is hard. I know it will be worth it in the end, but husbands don't really understand do they?

Sorry for moaning! Feels good to vent.

whirleywoo72 Thu 11-Feb-10 15:57:27

Oh boy, im 8wks gone, and thinking to myself what ,and why have i done it again, for the 4th time, i have 3 teenagers,my youngest is 14yrs. so i must need my head testing. i feel like i want to be sick (luckily havent) i cant be arsed to do anything, just put my feet up im doing the minimum, i feel like crap, my boobs hurt,my husband has not been near them for wks, i just give him the stare,i am peeing past myself, i have indigestion, and have put on weight, soi cant fit into my jeans, i know what to expect and getting really fed up xx

rebstully Fri 12-Feb-10 00:06:25

Glad there are others who find the idea of a consultant/midwife/anyone else who isn't your child calling you "mum". I realised when watching a programme the other day that it would bring out violence in me and I think I'm going to include a warning on my birth plan!

I'm 30 weeks and have never felt so vulnerable, weepy and uncomfortable in my life. bleurgh.

mandolin999 Thu 18-Feb-10 01:33:51

Thrilled to find a thread I can really relate to. The part that makes me crazy is how non-chalant I become later when I'm not pregnant as evidenced by the fact that this is my FOURTH child I am expecting. I adore my children but really I must be insane. Its the only explanation for putting myself through this again (granted it was a surprise but a result of my carelessness). I have hated every minute of every pregnancy and this one is the worst yet. I feel like there is an alien taking over my body,I get hormonal anxiety/depression that is crippling, nausea and exhaustion that make me completely useless. I feel absolutely, positively miserable and thank you ladies so much for letting me know I am not the only one. God help me, I am only 8 weeks along!!!!!!

Bumping this thread, I am so over being pg, and only 13 weeks <sigh>

beanlet Mon 22-Mar-10 14:41:36

Oh, this thread is such a relief -- I thought I was the only one who really doesn't like being pregnant. I like the baby; I don't like any of the rest of it! I feel uncomfortable and stretched and heavy ALL THE TIME and I hate only being allowed to sleep on my left side, which basically means I don't get any sleep. Plus I've had a horrible sore throat for two weeks now, and can only suck on strepsils that don't work. Not to mention a massive external pile that's been there permanently since week 20, visible veins, spider veins, skin tags, and having to get DH to trim my lady garden which has gone all weird and frizzy and tangled (!!!)

dizzy55 Mon 22-Nov-10 20:32:55

well I am so glad to read all the things I have to look forward to....I just got my life back, ds finally started school in sept after a hard few years on my own, fighting my way back to a decent career only to fall pregnant after 3 months in a new relationship. crazyness. But amazingly trying to stay sane despite morning sickness. Not looking forward to all the things you've described that I'd forgotten about though!Nor am I looking forward to doing the whole preganacy alone (again!) due to work and living in different cities. joy oh joy.

Rocklover Tue 23-Nov-10 12:21:27

Oh no you are sooooo not alone. I feel sick almost constantly, I have high levels of anxiety about everything you could imagine. I have very low iron and have icky side effects from the iron tablets which makes me feel worse.

I am getting fat (this meaning that the flab ON TOP of my bump is growing) because I eat crap and I just cannot make myself eat healthy stuff. My hair is frizzy and I can no longer be arsed to blow dry it, so it looks hideous. I have awful heartburn, dry and flakey nipples, I am pissed of all the time and I have ZERO patience with anyone.

My poor DP has felt so rejected by me that he burst into tears the other day because he felt that he disgusted me (I have since tried hard to adjust my appalling mood swing related behaviour).

This is my 2nd DC and I will never be pregnant again, in fact my mum has told me she will kill me if I ever dare consider another child.grin

Rocklover Tue 23-Nov-10 12:24:33

Ooh just realised this is an old thread, maybe we need to start a new one.

GreenandBlacksAddict Sun 01-Apr-12 10:37:29

I am really pleased to find this thread - thank F* I am not the only person who has unbearable pregnancies. Morning sickness has come back at 36 weeks, had 24/7 indigestion and acid reflux for 8 months,piles for 6 months, hips went 4 months ago, baby has been footling breech for 1 month, transverse lie for last 2 weeks which meant 3 extra scans and inability to breathe/sleep/eat - another scan this week to see if they will have to ECV me or C section. I am now fed up of people telling me that their 2nd baby came out in 12 minutes/like a pea out of a pod etc and to top it all my consultant has less bedside manner that Sir Lancelot Spratt in Carry On Doctor - you shouldn't be allowed to be a consultant unless you have had a baby ! Of course once baby's out and piles subsided I am fine !!! Off to paint more of the house now to take mind off feeling yeuurrch . Oh and green and Black's addict - not any more - anything other than yogurt, grapes or porridge gives me acid reflux !- including Gaviscon

HamblesHandbag Sun 01-Apr-12 10:41:29

greenandblacksaddict, this is a very old thread luv! The people on this thread will now have 4 year old DCs smile

maybe start a new one?

I have found the past few weeks tough with the extra weight and baby heading down. Then there is the awful heartburn that strikes at will. Only 4 weeks to go and we will meet baby. Just remember that ladies in the near future our babies will be in our arms and the rest will be a distant memory. xx

fulllife Tue 03-Apr-12 16:47:22

whomovedmychocolate- does a baby come out on the other side? then you are GREAT! its not an "experience" i agree...

Msfickle Fri 06-Apr-12 06:13:59

You are not alone (as you now know)!! I am having the easiest pregnancy ever and I still find it a major inconvenience. Can't exercise to usual extremes, cant drink and look crap in all clothes. What's to like?

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