unexpected second pregnancy - help!

[sevenoaksmum]

hello, i'm new to mumsnet today and i need a bit of encouragement: i haven't even told my husband yet, but i'm about 6 weeks pregnant with our second baby. my son is not yet a year old and this is totally unexpected. i haven't found my son the 'easiest' baby in the world although i adore him and have found this last year v rewarding and to be honest, i am starting to panic about how in the world i will handle two babies. i know this is a bit pathetic since many mums manage and some people have twins etc... why am i feeling so wimpy?!

help!

[dizzydance]

Hello and welcome to MN. The same thing happened to me. I found out I was pregnant when ds1 was 6 months old and was worried sick. Dh thought it was great when I told him (even though he works away half the time so I am left alone). But honestly, it worked out fine. Hard work obviously, but they grow up together and its great having such a close age gap. My ds1 is 14 now and ds2 coming up to 13 and I can't believe how time has flown.
I'm sure you will be fine. You do panic at first but as time goes on hopefully you will feel better

[sevenoaksmum]

thanks to dizzydance & motherhurdicure! i know i will pull my finger out and just cope when the time comes but the prospect is filling me with dread and that just makes me feel guilty. i can't imagine life without my son but i can't stop worrying about how i will manage when the next one comes along. at least i have 8 months to work on my plans!

:-)

[dizzydance]

I used to look at ds1 and feel guilty that I had not had enough time with him, but it wasn't like that when ds2 was born. It just seemed ok somehow.
It was great taking them out in their double buggy, I was really proud of them, still am.
You haven't had much time yet to get used to the idea but I'm sure once your bump starts to grow you will feel better. It all feels unreal at the moment, but honestly it will be ok. You will muddle into some kind of routine somehow and it will turn out ok.

[PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt]

oh oh oh can I please crash your thread and say that I know exactly how you feel because I too have just discovered that I'm pregnant with my 2nd and DD is 11 months old. I am feeling very daunted!! DH is worried that DD will be relatively unloved and not get all the attention she deserves and I'm worried about all the physical stuff. Word on the street is that it's a bit sweaty for the first year and then it becomes very marvellous indeed as they can play well together with that age gap. Am i just clutching at straws here

Congratulations !!!!

[ayrshirelolo]

Felling encouraged at dizzydance and motherhd's posts, dd is 17 months old and i'm 29 weeks preg... and the worst of it is we planned it so have only got ourselves to blame!!
Folk keep telling me how fab it is to have 2 so close together though.... glad i'm not alone sevenoaks and putthatinyourpipe!! Congratulations to you both!!!!

[cazzybabs]

I am pregnant with our 3rd (due in 2 weeks) - very much wanted and planned and we have a large gap betwwen dc2 and this one (3 years) but we are still freaking out and wondering how on earth will we cope...

you are not wimpy but normal

[MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo]

The bad news - the anticipation of every task you have to do for the first time with 2 childen makes you feel nauseous and worry that you won't be able to cope.

The good news - the reality is actually much easier and it does get easier as time goes on.

HTH and congrats

[sweetkitty]

18 month gap here and I felt like you do but it has been fine honestly. First year can be tough but watching the two fo them play now (they are 3.4 and 1.10years now) is great. DD2 adores her sister and copies her all the time and DD1 loves bossing her around and looking after her.

can't be that bad I'm also 6 weeks pregnant with number 3, come and join us on the Due In July antenatal thread, loads on there will have small age gaps we will keep each other sane.

[fortyplus]

My 2 are 18 months apart. First couple of years very hard work, but after that absolutely great! They're 12.5 and nearly 14 now.

[sevenoaksmum]

MARGO! yes i agree! i'm so glad you all understand! everytime i do something with my son, i think well how do i do that wtih two?!

just one thing: what is this dd and ds that you all use? sure this is completely obvious but i can't work it out! what would my son be?!

[ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands]

darling son and darling daughter.

DH is darling husband.

Congratulations

[emandjules]

There is 15 months between my nephews. Hard work i was told for 1st few years but now so close and keep each other entertained. They are 3 and 4 yrs now

[amidaiwish]

i have 19 months between mine and the first year was hard, but not impossible.
They are now 2 and 3.5 and are very easy - they keep each other company and play together so much.

You will manage! By the time you have the baby your youngest will be so much older, bigger and more independent than he is now.

Also the health visitor told me at this age any jealousy is likely to be limited and portrayed clearly - nothing too snidey or devious!!

[walkingtimebomb]

Great I found the thread I was looking for at last! I too have just found out I am prg again and have 10 month DS! I am experiencing all the same emotions as you guys, fear about how I will cope with the preg and beyond, guilt over not giving DS1 all the love and attention he deserves but I have to keep telling myself that somehow it will be OK and all will be worth it in the end. I am interested to hear more about this doula thingy, are they very expensive? Also anyone got any contacts or websites for non live in au pairs as I will have to go back to work and can't imagine how I will get 2 up and dressed in the mornings!!