Appointing guardians.... how to decide?

[widgetsmummy]

Sorry if this is a little morbid, but as we eagerly await the birth of our first baby we are also dealing with stuff like life insurance and trying to pick a guardian(s) to put in our will.

Does anyone have any advice on how to go about thinking who would be suitable (age/marrieds vs singles/family vs friends) and ultimately how to go about asking them!!?

It would seem potentially unfair on our parents as they get older, and all our siblings are unmarried. I thought of my brother but how would he cope without a partner and suddenly a child to look after?

[AnguaVonUberwald]

ITs very difficult, we are facing the same problem. out of my 4 siblings and DH's 2, only one is married, but their youngest is 13, so they are well past the age of wanting to bring up another child, on the other hand there really isn't anyone else we can ask, so it will have to be them.

As to how to ask them, no idea!

[wb]

I found this so hard to do. My advice is to try and sort it out before baby arrives cause you are even more hormonal and it is even more upsetting (as if you are about to hand your beautiful baby over, rather than making plans for a worst case scenario).

In the end we went for my sister (married w. 1 older child). Asking was difficult and I have to admit I wouldn't have taken a 'no' very well (which was unfair of me). Along with her agreeing was us adjusting our wills to set up a Trust to provide money for them to care for ds with they would need to buy a bigger house for 1 thing. We had a solicitor help w the wording for that.

[ruva]

Hi widge
I am in the same boat, i am married to a british man , mil hates me i can't stand her either and i have been thinking if anything happens to me i don't think DP would cope so i am thinking of asking my sister to be guardian but as she works in saudi arabia-but at least she has a permanent home in capetown-she has two kids-a bit strict but very loving-She made me guardian to her two kids considering we are six sister she chose me because i was loaded at that time Ha ha before i got a mortage, Also i love children. So good luck to all of us. My decision is based on the fact that i only see my Dp for 2 hours a day during the week, he is an only child My sisters in law's are lovely and since they live in the uk my baby would have links to his heritage as well.

[widgetsmummy]

wb - good point about doing it before LO arrives and all the hormones go into overdrive. also hadn't considered that someone might say no!

[SquiffyonSnowballs]

We have lots of friends and relatives who have brought up our kids fantastically well but we felt that if they took on our kids as well it wouldn't be fair on (a) the other children who would suddenly get a 'new' brother and sister or on (b) our own children who might feel like cookoos in someone else's nest...

We decided on asking my best and oldest single friend becasue we know she is great with her nieces & nephews, and we also know that if she did end up bringing them up she was the kind of person who would always ask herself what DH and I would have wanted when it came down to big decisions in their lives.

We were terrified of askign her.... turns out we were the fifth couple to have asked her. Let's hope there isn't some natural diaster awaiting us all, because if there is she will end up with 11 kids