Why does sex during pregnancy hurt so much?

[Anarchymummy]

I'm about 18/19weeks and have just got my sex drive back(completley lost it for the 1st few months)but the problem is that after sex I seem to swell up "down there" for about 3/4 hours and it's extremely painful,my other half seems to think it's my body trying to tell me I'm already pregnant and therefore protecting the baby but I am clueless as this is both of ours 1st.
I'm too embarrased to ask my mum or friends who've recently had babies.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar or knows anything about this?

[DangerousBeans]

Never experienced this in my pregnancies.
Speak to your midwife about it.
Have you had any problems with UTIs, thrush or cystitis?

[Chattyhan]

Never had painful sex when pregnant - but have occasionally found it takes some time for things to close up again! But never painful just a bit uncomfortable. Definately think you should see gp/midwife about this. You may have an infection which could cause complications if left unchecked.

[Naetha]

Could it be that you're just a bit sore from under-use?

Unfortunately, I haven't had pain-free sex for nearly 3 years now (ironically, just after we got married - life's a bitch ain't it) due to problems with my bladder (interstitial cystitis), but if I've had a long-ish break, its always quite sore afterwards. Like you say, it feels like its swollen and sore down there for a few hours.

I also noticed sex got extremely painful the first few times after I'd conceived (when I didn't even know I was pregnant) but this pain has reduced over the last few weeks.

My sex drive is still sub-zero, but by DH is certainly hoping it will pick up very soon, and hopefully the bean will move up off my bladder and give me some relief as well

[aikigypsy]

I've felt a bit dry so far -- not really painful, just more friction. My fluids just don't seem to be as slippery as they were pre-pregnancy... but not painful.

[Anarchymummy]

Thanks for your replies
I will ask my Midwife about it when I next see her ask iv'e suddenly thought it could be linked to the stomach pains I felt earlier in the pregnancy or a repeat of a cystitis-type infection(which Iv'e had before)

Naetha you could be right,because we tried again recently and it didn't seem to hurt so much,ulthough I'm not going to tell my OH it could be that just yet as he'll want sex more lol...and My sex drive just isn't the same.

[Naetha]

Its daft isn't it Anarchymummy almost lying to your partner because you don't want to have sex. My DH has a really high sex drive and I feel so sorry for him as much of the time I'm just unable to have sex. Unfortunately after 3 years it still hasn't quite sunk in yet!

The only bit of advice I can give is just to take it slowly - if you're really not in the mood for sex, then I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that there's plenty of other ways of keeping your feller happy!

One of the most common conversations in our house goes something like this:

[very tongue in cheek]
"we never have sex. You don't love me. I can't even remember the last time we had sex."

"we had sex last week dear"

"that was a week ago! I can't remember that!"

etc etc :p