Finding early pregnancy hard - v. long post, sorry!

[Sarahjct]

Hi all

Sorry to barge in, I've only just registered but have been lurking for weeks. I'm also sorry to start off with such a whingey post but there doesn't seem to be anyone I know in RL who understands.

The upshot is, I'm 35 and 9+5 with my first child. It all happened very quickly and we're delighted and really excited. I would be devastated if anything happened and I'm really looking forward to it all.

But, I am finding it all so hard to cope with. I know my symptoms are perfectly normal and that I have no real cause to complain but I'm not sure how much longer I can cope with it all. I've been horribly sick for about 3 weeks and, luckily that's beginning to ease. But now I'm left with the most awful gasiness which nothing seems to ease. That makes me feel worse than the sickness and, as I work in a very quiet office it's really hard to deal with.

Added to that, I'm so tired I spend most of the day in tears because of it. As soon as I get home I go to bed and it's been like that for weeks. I've had to cancel trips abroad, concerts, everything because of all this and I don't know how much more I can take. I just want my life back.

My boss has been fantastic and I've had loads of time off with her blessing but for the next fortnight I have to be in the office and I don't know if I can do it. Added to the 90 minute drive each way and early start it's just too much.

I'm sorry, I know I should just put up with it and stop moaning but I wondered if anyone else hated being pregnant as much as I do.

Thanks for listening anyway.

Sarah

[Sunshinemummy]

Hi Sarah and welcome. I too had the overwhelming tiredness during early pregnancy. Once Sat we went to a charity cricket match and I spent the whole of the time asleep in the car. I could manage 20 mins chatting to people and then I'd have to go and sleep again for 2 hours+. Anyway at about 14 weeks I started to feel better and after that I sailed through pregnancy. I hope this helps - it does get better for most people.

[Babylovesmuffins]

Hi Sarah
Congratulations on your pregnancy! don't worry, the way you're feeling atm is perfectly normally and the good news is it's likely to pass in 2-3 weeks time.

your hormones will be all over the place atm - don't be too hard on yourself, as your body is going through amazing changes!!

I started to feel much much better after 13-14 weeks. Up until then I felt very nauseous, gassy and extremely tired. By that point you'll probably have had your scan too which makes things more exciting.

To ease the indigestion, try eating several small meals at regular intervals throughout the day and don't force yourself to eat food that you just don't fancy. Get as much sleep as possible - I was in bed at 8pm most nights as I was just so exhausted!!

I'm now 30 weeks and the tiredness has crept back but it's nowhere near as bad as the first few weeks of pregnancy.

Good luck and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

BLM
x

[Jamantha]

Sarah, congratulations and yes it IS exhausting in early weeks but it DOES get better. I'm 36 years old and now 35 weeks into 1st preg. Am now getting pretty tired again, but not like I was at first. Sounds like your boss is great, it does help. Take it easy when you can, don't worry if you end up in bed at 8 oclock each night, and look forward to a few weeks time when you'll perk up again.

[meowmix]

god do I remember this. you have my sympathy

step 1 - get some lemon and ginger. a slice of each into a mug and pour over boiling water (so its like a cup of tea). Leave it by your bed to cool overnight. Sip in the morning before you get up. Kills nausea and reduces gassiness.

During the day boiled water left to cool and sipped will help any gassiness. I have no idea why it work (maybe relaxes muscles?) but it really does.

As someone else said - small snacks more often. I carried bran flakes and rice cakes. try to avoid bad snack foods as they make you feel worse in the long run (i never notice sugar rushes normally but when pg it was like a roller coaster if I ate choc)

At home behave like an invalid. This phase passes but the only thing you can do is rest as much as you can when you can. Watch dross tv, sleep, leave the housework to DH or get a cleaner. Forget a social life for now or just get friends round with takeaways/dvds.

At work prioritise. Somethings can wait 3 weeks - and you'll start feeling better by then with a bit of luck. Can you car share for the drive? or take the train? can you start later/earlier to avoid the rush hour?

It DOES get better. You're just incredibly busy on the inside so should slow down on the outside. First pregnancy has one huge advantage - you can be as selfish as hell for this first stage.

[40nanny]

hi sarah, congratulations to you both, i can sympathise with you and know exactly how you are feeling, i know it will seem a long way away when your feeling so bad,i wasnt out at all i actually was feeling depressed and couldnt even enjoy being pregnant and ive wanted it for ages, i was sick every day and not just in the morning(why its called morning sickness i dont know!!)but mine passed at 14 weeks, and it is the best feeling to get your health back, try and eat ginger nuts, dry crackers, toast,i got the travel bands tho didnt help me much but maybe help you, i hope this helps, you will get better soon,good luck, the good thing is you will get a baby at the end and it will be worth all the trips to the toilet!!

[lizziemun]

congratulation on your pregnacy, like other have said the sickness and tiredness should pass in a few weeks.

FOr the gasiness/sickness i find drinking water has helped to ease it.

[BibiThree]

You poor love. I felt like this too and envied and hated in equal measure those women who sailed through their pregnancies like it was a lovely holiday.

I thought I was bad with dd, but this time I was 10 times worse and on top of it got a chest and sinus infection - then found out it was twins! BUT, like everyone says, it will pass and you'll have some lovely middle-pregnancy weeks when you feel fine, content and your belly will be getting lovely smiles off strangers in the street.

Just keep telling yourself "IT WILL END", over and over.

Hope you feel much better soon

[foxybrown]

Hi Sarah, just wanted to say you are so nearly there and it should all start to ease up in a couple of weeks.

Its always helped me to remember that if I'm feeling crap, then the hormones are working and everything should be ok!

Everyone who's replied has given you excellent advice, and do join the ante-natal thread for when you are due - the ladies on them give you great support and will know exactly what you are going through, and will be going through it with you.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, hope you feel better soon.

[Sarahjct]

Thanks everyone. It just helps a bit to know that I'm not the only one who had/is having a miserable time.

Have just asked if I can go home at lunchtime and I think everyone at work is secretly relieved as when I've got the hump everyone knows it!

I think the worst thing is the gas. It's awful and nothing seems to help it. I will try the cooled boiled water etc and see if it makes any difference. Have tried to avoid fruit and fruit juice and was drinking choc milk instead which was helping with the sickness but I can't keep swigging that all day as I'll be (more) enormous!

I suppose as well I resent the fact that this has been 24 hour misery for 5 weeks while DH, good though he is, swans around with absolutely no change to his life apart from a more miserable, useless wife.

Blimey I'm a misery, sorry!

[meowmix]

Sarahjct - don't worry about weight at this stage. You have the rest of your life to lose it but one chance to make this baby some arms and legs etc. Eat what you want when. If you find something you like, want and can tolerate then go for it. I lived on cheese & pickle sandwiches on white bread without crusts and crisps until about week 18 and we're all fine.

and if you can don't compare and contrast what you expected with whats happening. The hormones are working, your baby is building and growing and your body is adapting. No one else will have the exact same experience, so don't look at other people and think "why isn't mine like that?". Making a decision not to do that (thanks to a savvy gp who spotted my alpha female tendencies) was a big step in enjoying the pg more.

[bumperlicious]

Firstly sarahjct - eat and drink whatever you can to get you through, worry about the being enormous bit later (btw - you won't be enormous - if I ate like I have eaten whilst pg when I wasn't pg I would be the size of a house, but actually I'm not)

Secondly, you are not the only one who hates being pg. It feels horrible to say so, but I have hated being pg, in fact I have only really come around to the idea in the last few weeks (39wks +1)! And even now I am so ready to not be pg!

It is difficult, everything in your life changes just from being pg, let alone the fact you are about to have a baby. And it seems like nothing is happening for DH, which it isn't really, but remember you get to be the most important person for a while, to DH, to the baby and to everyone else. I hope your DH is running around after you.

Thirdly, the sickness thing, it's horrendous like having a hangover but for 24hrs a day for 3 months, but you kind of just get used to it, and eventually you will start to feel better, and you will appreciate every minute of not feeling sick and vow never to drink again as why would you make yourself feel that bad if you don't have to.

Finally, it's not wrong to hate being pg, it's and difficult to admit, but make sure you are telling someone if you are feeling miserable, even if it's just mumsnet. Also, don't expect to bloom, you may not. It sucks, but not everyone does. People will say yo are blooming in a few months when the sickness stops, but really it's just because you stop looking like death warmed up and just go back to looking normal!

Sorry, that is a really long post, but I just wanted to reassure (not sure I've even done that!) but don't want to feeling worried about how you feel, because the guilt just makes it all even worse!

[theressomethingaboutmarie]

Oh you are SO normal - believe me! I remember at the 10 week stage that I confided to DH that I wasn't sure if I could cope anymore and started to discuss what I could do about it. I felt constantly awful and would meet my husband each evening in floods of tears.

It's no doubt psychosomatic but when you get to your first scan, you will start to feel a little better.

Don't worry about your weight at the moment either. You've got to have calories to nourish the baby so if you can drink chocolate milk without puking, you go for it!

[dal21]

Hi Sarah

I remember the first few months of pregnancy and feel totally poleaxed! I was in total and utter shock. Before I fell pregnant - I thought the only part to worry about was the labour. I never stopped to think about how the actual pregnancy would affect me (I can be quite silly at times). It was a total shock to me and my system - physically and emotionally when the symptoms hit.

The truth is that pregnancy - especially in the first few months can be tough on you. Dont beat yourself up for feeling down. Make sure you rest and look after yourself - listen to your body, dont fight any of it.
Ask for help where you need it - DP's can load washing machines too!
Give your body what it needs and craves re. food and drink. If chocolate milk is all you can take and what you crave - then listen to your body. Mother nature is incredibly good at making you crave what you and your baby need.

Your body is doing an amazing amount right now - be kind to yourself and put your feet up!

I felt heaps better by week 13-14. I am now 24+4 days and loving being pregnant!