When does a pregnancy start to 'count'?????

[Hungrymama]

Well, I come to you well and truely cheesed off! When exactly does a pregnancy start to count as something worth celebrating?? I have (very) recently conceived after over 2 years of trying naturally, and several iui cycles both with and without hormones (I already have one DD who is 4 yrs old - conceived naturally after 2 1/2 yrs of trying). This should be hip, hip, hooray time and in a way it is, but at the same time its like this huge cloud of 'lets not get too excited because after all you still might miscarry' descends as soon as the disbelief of those two blue lines wears off. Last time we didn't tell anyone until I was 13 weeks and they were some of the hardest 13 weeks of my life. It's like it's all you can think about but you can't actually mention it and anyway, lets not forget, it may not make it to 13 weeks anyway. Does anybody out there know what I mean?? I feel so frustrated. Do I dare to be happy? Or doesn't it count until some sort of 'survival milestone' has been passed?

[Jbck]

Congratulations, it is hard not to let yourself get excited. I think if you have a history of mc it must be really hard but if you haven't & your last pg was fine albeit slow in coming then get excited even if it's just between yourselves. I think most people don't want to let others in because it's harder if something does go wrong and you have to tell people the sad news, especially when you feel terrible yourselves.
Go on have a whoop, even if it's just a quiet one.

[Hungrymama]

Yes I am 'whooping', but then I catch myself and think, oops, better not just in case. It's almost like you have to protect yourself from hurt but if I do m/c it's going to be just as gutting if I haven't told anyone as it is if I had. All the same I don't really want to shout it to the world, it's just a wierd old feeling ... [slightly puzzled face]

[Lozza70]

Congratulations! DH and I are not telling anyone until the 12 week mark after we have had a nuchal scan. I have had a couple of mc and don't want to go through telling people it is all off so to speak if it does not work out. It is a nightmare to keep quiet though. My levels of concentration at work are v.v poor at the moment. Only 3 more weeks to go though and I can let it all out. Fingers crossed

[Hungrymama]

First time round I almost burst! I told one friend but noone else. I got so tired at work I would be napping on my desk and my friend would be very severe and say, ' if you don't want people to know stop acting like that!' but what can you do??? At least this time I'm at home most of the time so whose to notice?? The potplants???

[holsnovell]

You must feel amazing. Congrats to you and roll on the next few weeks so you can let the whole world know. Very sensible to wait though. X

[Hungrymama]

I've moved onto the February Antenatal thread. Thanks for the encouragement. That's why I love mn so!!

[Lozza70]

The really tough part for me is that I was always first one out for the night after work for a quick drink. My 'car' has been at the station for a few months now so I cannot go for a drink and I just feel like I am blatantly lying and will be struck down soon by a thunderbolt

[Hungrymama]

I had a very odd conversation at work today (teaching) about next year and something came up about 'after Christmas' and it's true, you do just feel like saying, 'actually I'll be well on my way to resembling a hippo by then so count me out!'. It wouldn't matter so much if you felt normal but inevitably you don't (although I'm still so early I pretty much do - last time things didn't kick in until wk 7 or so). If someone challenges you about the endlessly broken car you'd probably burst into floods of tears or something equally uncharacteristic and raise suspicions further - surely it can't be much longer before you can spill the beans??

[Lozza70]

Well I have to travel quite a bit for work and they are trying to pin me down on dates in October and December to go to New York and Hong Kong. I will be well beyond the limit for flying. I am dodging it as long as I can but it must seem strange as I am usually the one who likes to plan well in advance. Roll on July and I can tell all.

[Hungrymama]

July - it sounds like a lifetime away doesn't it!! So hard to bluff your way through these things. Good luck to you. xx

[maxbear]

Well feeling 'abnormal' is a good sign that things are going well. I am rubbish at secrets and both times let the cat out of the bag at 9 weeks but hey that was 5 weeks of not telling people about the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me. Congratulations and good luck