DP told me he finds it too weird

[RedKennedy]

to get intimate with me. Im 31 weeks and have rather a round bump, so theres no getting away from it or hiding it.
I have to say Im devestated and I miss the intimacy incredibly, plus it makes me feel ill that hes probably w*nking without me to relieve the boredom. In a cruel twist of fate I am on fire at the moment so too find myself needing to do the same most days.
Ive tried suggesting that we dont have to go the whole hog (thats rather unfortunate phrase in light of how attractive I feel at pres) or that I will happily get involved with him (as I really cant stop thinking about pleasuring him?!?) but hes even turned that down. Now feel like a fat ugly cow.
Petrified that we are so out of practice with sex that we will stand no chance whatsoever in the future once Lo arrives.

Did anyone elses DPs not want to get jiggy?
I seem to only read about partners who cant keep their hands off pregnant ladies.

And god help me if I go overdue as I have fek all chance of trying out the old wives tale. Oh woe is me

[cece]

DH wa liket hat with my first one. With the second he didn't miss the opportunity once he realised the drought that follows the birth! LOL

[rubles]

Ha ha, you sound just like me when pg with dd!! I was craven! I suggested things like doing it from behind and he could pretend I wasn't pregnant - I would have tried anything. Luckily he did oblige, but not often enough, and he developed a really crushing nervous laugh sometimes when I was affectionate because he knew it wouldn't stop with a hug. It was very demoralising and frustrating. But I think that I was just too full-on for him and that was a bit scary and off-putting, rather than me being fat and unattractive (although I was).
Do you think you are maybe coming on too strong? Do you always have a predatory glint in your eye? He's not feeling used is he?
Maybe you could find out what he finds so wierd, as if he is also turning down non-penetrative sex then it can't be fear of hurting the baby etc can it? Maybe it feels like there is a baby in the room or is he seeing you as a mother and untouchable?

It seems such a waste to miss out on this time, as in my case my libido just evapourated into thin air after dd was born, which was a shame.

[liath]

DH goes on complete strike when I am pg - just when I'm gagging for it too . Said it made him feel like he was sh*gging the unborn baby. You are not alone in your frustration.....

[Holly29]

Men are so RUBBISH. My man has shown some signs of this, but generally a sort of 'Hm. Not sure I can fancy a girl who wears trackie bottoms 24/7' rather than a no, never, sort of way.

I do not understand them! They are meant to be supportive and loving, and in any event they could never go through this themselves so they should be grateful we're doing this and are still attracted to them... URGH!!!!

[mylittlestar]

my dh was the same

sorry - no advice really, just wanted to say you're not alone!

you'll both just have to make up for it once the lo is born! (when you can fnd the energy or manage to stay awake!!)

maybe that's a good angle to take - tell him it may be a while once the baby is born so get it while he can now

[Tigerlady]

Hi,
I sympathise. My dp started backing off when I began to really show and I felt totally unattractive. When I eventually asked him what was wrong he said it just didn't feel right shagging the 'mother ship' .... !!
I think some guys just find it off-putting, not coz we look unattractive necessarily, but coz their child is there, with them, in the bed, so to speak!!
I try not to let it worry me though. I've got enough on my plate! I'm sure your dp will show interest again as soon as you've given birth, then it's likely to be you who's saying no!!
Good luck

[twoplusone]

Redkennedy- why dont you give him an early wake up call one morning.. whislt he is asleep he cant refuse when he comes round he will be so pleased to see you!!! you may even get some sex too...... worth a try.. its worked on my dh but tbh its not often that he refuses anyform of intamacy!!

[Enid]

my dh was the same in all three pgs

actually less so in the last one

[KezzaG]

My dh was the same, it just put him off that there was 3 in the bed as it were. I can kind of see why it would be freaky, one minute Im gradding his hand to make him feel the baby kicking, next he is expected to perform and pretend it is not there.

It was hard not taking it personally but it is just a short term thing. I too went overdue and hate curry so that was 2 of the old wives tales out of the window for me

[Mossie]

My dh is similar atm (38 wks tomorrow with a huge bump riddled in bright maroon stretch marks). I think he's more scared I'll crush him than anything else!

I appreciate though that it's difficult. For a start I wasn't up for it at all in my first trimester, too busy being sick with norks that felt like they were trapped in a vice, so I can't suddenly expect him to be up for it now.

(And also "come on darling, how would you like to condition my cervix?" isn't exactly the best come-on line )

I would recommend lots of cuddles and hugs and kissing though, which is better than nothing. And at the end of the day, helping yourself can also help tone your uterus, so I believe.

[RedKennedy]

Rubles you may have hit the nail on le head - its got to the point where he avoids all cuddles and even turns over in bed in the morning inacse I spot his morning glory and vault onto it (which I most def would without question). Weve tried it from behind but theres always a point when he leans forward for a grasp and gets a handful of baby belly. I dont really blame him, I mean if thats the way youre thinking its a pretty awful mental image to have. And youre correct again in saying that Im probably coming across as a bit.. god, DESPERATE. But I cant help it, I am bloody desperate!

[RedKennedy]

Thankyou for all posting and letting me know its not only me. Have been imagining that im being hard done by. I know he loves me and hes affectionate and caring and helpful, I just need some passion in my life.. cant bear to see the fires go out as I know its going to be hard to light them again... bt for now DIY is going to have to be the way forward!

[nailpolish]

yes agree fio

he must lack imagination

[RedKennedy]

weve tried that fio but inevitably he ends up with a handful of baby.

and his imagination is probably to blame as thats where hes invisaging poking his child in the head.

[kayzr]

I've had no sex drive since I was about 16 weeks and my DH was a bit upset I wasn't interested. Now it's come back at 39 weeks!! and my DH is really strange and is like "won't he know what were doing?" and not too interested unless I go overdue. So you really can't win either way

[GillL]

My dh is completely the opposite. I've been feeling terrible for the last 4 months so we've only done it twice since I've been pg. He won't stop pestering me about it when all I want to do is sleep. He only seems to ask me how I feel so he can guage what chance he has of getting lucky each night.

Would be nice to have a happy medium though, eh.

[LupinsBigLump]

my dp openly admits its all to weird and he doesnt hardly fancy me when im pg, he was the same before - he doesnt even like me cuddling up to him at night in case he gets a kick in the back - oh well his loss, on the couple of occasions jigginess has happened it has been alot better (well for me anyway

Not long to go and he will be the one thats eager and you will be saying bugger off !!