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Childcare when in labour with DC2?

(28 Posts)
chloechloe Sat 26-Nov-16 20:09:55

DD1 is 20m old and DD2 is due on Boxing Day. Due to emigrating a few years back we don't have any family or close friends nearby, although my PiL are 2 hours away by car (assuming it's not snowing!)

I'm just curious as to what plans people put / have in place? We have a babysitter who DD1 loves and who we can leave her with without any worries but she has another job so won't necessarily be available when the time comes.

I think the only option is for MiL to come and help out but I don't want her here for days on end before the baby is due and certainly not around me when I'm in labour!

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Sat 26-Nov-16 20:14:12

Is DH staying with DD1 a option? I have given birth alone, it's was actually really great smile

BathshebaSnowflakeStone Sat 26-Nov-16 20:21:34

FIL and my aunt.

taytopotato Sat 26-Nov-16 20:23:54

Neighbors, friends, hire someone

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour Sat 26-Nov-16 20:32:44

Our first (main) childcare option was my PIL who were a 3.5 hour drive away. I went overdue, had a sweep on day 10, rang them with some mild cramps on the way back from the hospital and they pretty much left straight away, they arrived about 3 hours before DD2 was born, and conveniently FIL was able to drive us to the hospital too!

Nikki2ol6 Sat 26-Nov-16 20:45:03

How about a child minder who works full time? My friend is a childminder and has children sleep over as some of the parents are lorry drivers and nurses so often work night shifts. If you find one close by you can drop your child off on the way to hospital orrrrr you can consider a home birth and have a friend come over to keep your child entertained in a different room

cheweduprope Sat 26-Nov-16 20:49:56

I would invite MiL. And if she's looking after your other child, then she's not going to be "around you when you're in labour", is she?

nennyrainbow Sat 26-Nov-16 21:04:03

How long were you in labour with with dc1? Could you not call your MIL once you're in the early stages of labour to save having her hanging around for days?

Gizlotsmum Sat 26-Nov-16 21:05:27

We used a friend ( child same age as dd1 ) who had very kindly offered..

CalleighDoodle Sat 26-Nov-16 21:05:57

My parents had my first born when i had mt second. What about a homebirth?

nennyrainbow Sat 26-Nov-16 21:07:12

Or have a homebirth? DH can then be intermittently looking after Dc1 and being with you. Or if it's night time Dc1 can be tucked up in bed. Worked for us with DC2.

Figgygal Sat 26-Nov-16 21:08:05

Was supposed to be pil but mil was hospitalised for blood tests an hour before I went into labour had to call round friends and drop off ds1 on way to hospital. Worked out for the best as pil despite living 20 minutes away cannot go anywhere quickly and I was at hospital within 2 hours and already 8cms gone we COULD NOT have waited for them.

What about a home birth?

savagehk Sat 26-Nov-16 21:21:58

Still need a plan b for home birth in case things don't go to plan and you need to transfer to hospital.

FuzzyOwl Sat 26-Nov-16 21:25:45

I had this concern and considered a home birth with DH staying home with DD if I ended up having to go to hospital.

TheInternetIsForPorn Sat 26-Nov-16 21:32:49

My daughter came to hospital with us and ended up being in the room when her brother was born.

Heratnumber7 Sat 26-Nov-16 21:38:16

Two hours is plenty of time for in laws to get to you when you start labour. Not many babies are born 2 hours after the first signs if something happening.

MyBreadIsEggy Sat 26-Nov-16 21:39:53

Lack of childcare for DD (17 months at the time) was one of many deciding factors in us choosing a home birth for DC2.
DD happily pottered about while I was in labour, then went for a nap when I was around 8cm dilated. She woke up when her brother was about an hour old and came down to meet him smile

Equimum Sat 26-Nov-16 21:44:19

We were reliant on my non-driving mother, who lives over an hour away. In the end, we arranged with a couple of mum's who we had done NCT with, so that had I gone into labour and needed to go to the hospital faster than we could get my mum to us, I could call them and they would have watched DS1 for a couple of hours. Could you ask any local friends to just have your DD until your PILs get there?

chloechloe Sat 26-Nov-16 21:53:22

Home birth definitely isn't an option as I'm high risk and have been offered an ELCS which I want to avoid if possible. With my first I had to have an EMCS before I even went into labour so have no idea what to expect! I guess it means I'm unlikely to deliver quickly!

I'm not against the idea of heading to hospital on my own if need be (though DH would be most upset). Hopefully MiL would be able to get here soon enough if she's on call when I go into labour.

I'm not too comfortable with taking a child minder that my DD doesn't know! Plus I'm due at Xmas so I expect they won't be easy to come by!

chloechloe Sat 26-Nov-16 21:56:38

I'm loving all these home birth stories with the other DC around / napping though! grin

Fitzsimmons Sat 26-Nov-16 22:00:22

We had this issue with our second and when we talked about it with colleagues and toddler group parents etc we were inundated with offers. Most people don't mind if it's a one off. DD was born over Christmas too and so many people offered to take DS on Xmas day if that was when she made her appearance (she eventually arrived just after new year). In the end one of the mums from a toddler group came over at midnight and sat with my son until my parents got here at 3am.

HeadDreamer Sat 26-Nov-16 22:00:49

Same with TheInternetIsForPorn DC1 went to the hospital with us and was in the waiting room outside when DC2 was born. Labour went so quickly friend didn't arrive until DC2 was born. And DC1 didn't even remember she was in the hospital when her sister was born!

stolemyusername Sat 26-Nov-16 22:16:49

In your case I would plan to call Mil as soon as your sure labour is starting, then DH could keep DD1 occupied whilst waiting for MIL to arrive.

If it happens fast you could leave for the hospital and DH following you as soon as MIL has arrived. Although I'm sure that I'd you need to leave quickly a neighbour could mind DD1 for a short time whilst MIL is on her way.

BananaPie Sat 26-Nov-16 22:21:16

We had the exact same issue: overseas and away from family and dc2 due over Xmas.

Grandparents ended up staying with us for 3 weeks (dc2 was a week overdue... Flights home were cancelled and rebooked).

It was ok. They were swiftly dispatched home after the birth.

NerrSnerr Sat 26-Nov-16 22:29:04

We have similar issues. We are having an ELCS due to complications last time so we're hoping that we can get away with dropping our daughter off in the morning at nursery and my husband being able to collect her at teatime. We have a few local friends from baby groups who will look after her if I go into labour at another time. Ultimately if needs be I will do it without my husband being there but hopefully it won't come to that.

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