21, pregnant and depressed

[AmyLou777]

So in September I found out that I am unexpectedly pregnant due to antibiotics messing with my pill and I really haven't been able to come to terms with this yet. I feel like my whole life is over and I will never be able to have fun again, I never wanted kids ever. My boyfriend is so nice and supportive and our families took the news better than expected. Every day I wake up and the realisation that my old life that I loved so much is gone and I literally just feel like I'm suffocating. I tried to have an abortion and was even on the surgery table but I couldn't do it as I feared too much about the moral values of it and if there was a hell that I would be there forever. I wish I did it now as I feel I am in hell anyway, but now feel stuck as I am 19 weeks and all our families know about it so they would know I had an abortion, and my boyfriend gets angry and upset at me even suggesting it again as he is now excited. I don't know what I can do I just want to die or just want this all to go away, I couldn't even do my college course this year as my due date clashes with exams so instead of doing college like I should be I am at home all day every day just pathetically waiting for my boyfriend to finish work. I have been looking everyday for jobs while I don't look too pregnant but have yet to be successful. I hate this life , can someone please help me ?

[MouseLove]

Amy please go speak with your GP/Midwife. It's a very serious problem you're dealing with now. But please remember being a mum is the most rewarding job you'll ever have, also the hardest, most stressful and longest serving. So feeling like you do, is completely normal and ok.

If you do not want to be a mother, please speak with your midwife about your other options. Adoption is one of those options. You would be giving your baby to a family who are desperate to be where you are. Infertility is a heart wrenching and long process and I can guarantee that your baby will be loved with full hearts.

Good luck! X

[froglou]

Have you spoken to your midwife or doctor about this? They can offer you support and potentially antidepressants, the hormones from pregnancy can cause low moods and depression which may not be the cause but could definitely be a contributing factor to how you feel.
I'm 20 and I understand how you feel, I'm not a low as you are currently but I do suffer with bipolar which doesn't help matters much.

[Xanadu44]

Oh lovely, I really feel for you. I have been feeling really down since I was pregnant and mine was planned. Pregnancy hormones really do affect you and have made me feel really down, you're not alone. I really think you should go to your GP and speak to them about it and also speak to your family, you'll be surprised how (especially the women) will understand how you're feeling and how much their words and help will reassure you xx sending positive thoughts to you and I know you'll feel better soon x

[waitingforsomething]

two things:

1. go to your doctor - you may have antenatal depression and there are things you can do to treat this.
   
2. your life is not over. I had a child unexpectedly when I was just a little older than you and also nearly had an abortion which I didn't go through with. Once you are past the newborn stage, you can go back to college and study whatever you want. There is childcare available for which you may be entitled to some help and it sounds like you have supportive family who may help while you study. Some colleges have on site childcare. If you can't go to college now, don't hang around the house all day. Yoga, swimming all gentle exercise that is also good for the mind. Your life is not over - a baby might cause you a little delay but you've ruined nothing, if you want to pm me please do I really have been there. (and I now have two children, and a career and everything is okay!)