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How soon did you get pregnant after a still birth?

(14 Posts)
AvalancheRoses Tue 01-Nov-16 23:11:35

Looking for ladies who are pregnant, how many cycles did it take you to conceive or how soon did you get a positive pregnancy test after a still birth or late miscarriage?

We lost our son 3 weeks ago and although we are deeply grieving, using any kind of protection just feels wrong to us. We have BD 4 times since. We are absolutely not trying to replace our boy, it's just not right for us to use BC. My body is healed and fine, lochia lasted one week.

RonSwansonsBestFriend Tue 01-Nov-16 23:18:15

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I understand why you don't want to use BC, you must do what feels right.

I can't tell you how soon you would fall pregnant but I would definitely get medical advice, because your body (and heart) has been through a trauma and you should try to make sure you are fully healed.

I can't imagine how you're feeling, very best wishes to both of you.

Alb1 Tue 01-Nov-16 23:20:38

We lost our daughter 6 months ago today, started DTD 4 weeks later when the bleeding had stopped and got a bfp a few weeks ago, am 7 weeks today, think it took 4 cycles. My periods came back straight away but I think it still took a while for my body to get back to normal. We absolutely don't want to replace our baby either, we just wanted to get through the trying and pregnancy stages as quickly as possible and be at the end of pregnancies forever rather than just wondering if it'l all go wrong again next time so decided to get on with it, plus it gave us a slight distraction and something to focus on other than just pure grief. I say just do what feels right for you. So sorry about your little boy flowers

Puggleface Wed 02-Nov-16 06:57:23

I'm so sorry for your loss avalanche losing a child is something that no one should have to go through.
My DS died a year ago. I was advised to wait by my consultant as I had an emergency CS with him. I fell pregnant 10 months after he passed away and am now 16 weeks with baby#2.
Be kind to yourself. There is not right or wrong answer but I will say to make sure you look after yourself over the next few months. Eat well, start taking pre natal vits again and take your Drs advise.
Wishing you all the best xx

ConvincingLiar Wed 02-Nov-16 07:05:27

Not me, but one friend conceived about 3 months later and another about 2 months later.

Nan0second Wed 02-Nov-16 07:10:52

I don't know your circumstances but where I work, we would recommend having your follow up visit with your consultant and getting all your test results back before getting pregnant again. This is so that we can act on any abnormal results appropriately and make a plan for any new pregnancy to prevent any terrible things happen again.
I totally understand why you would want to ttc straight away (and also why some people don't!). Also, sex is healing for many couples.
It is such a sad time for you both. Often doing "something" (like ttc) feels like a positive step within the darkness.
Take care of yourselves flowers

OhTheRoses Wed 02-Nov-16 07:12:36

I gave myself one cycle, conceived, lost, pg by accident. DD was born, at term +, 51 weeks after DS2. She's 18 now. Life becomes better again I promise.

flowers

JOMH1982 Wed 02-Nov-16 08:39:41

Hi, firstly, I'm so sorry for the loss of your son, baby loss is the most painfully excruciating trauma there is. I lost my daughter at 20 weeks last Christmas, so technically a late miscarriage, but the loss has been incredibly painful so I know how you feel.

I was desperate to try again straight away, but due to medical reasons I couldn't, and was very fortunate to fall pregnant in the first cycle of trying 8 months after our loss, and I'm nearly 12 weeks now. It's absolutely terrifying, but I was even more upset at the thought of not trying again.

I wish you all the very best and wish you peaceful times ahead xx

AvalancheRoses Wed 02-Nov-16 08:53:06

Thank you all so so much for the replies, it means a lot. We aren't TTC but BC feels so wrong to us so I guess we are NTNP. We have BD 4 times since and I'm waiting on OV and HPTs to arrive so I can track my HCG falling and then OV so we can use the rhythm method to prevent. I feel physically ok, but we have the post mortem results to get back, my post natal check and we have a fertility appointment for recurrent loss in December. Like some of you have said, sex seems to be a part of the grieving process. It's just so hard to put into words how I feel. The idea of a new pregnancy terrifies me and I'm worried I won't bond with a baby but at the same time I feel a sense of hope that we might fall pregnant.

letthefunbegin Wed 02-Nov-16 09:05:59

We had a stillborn baby exactly one year ago. She had a pre identified chromosome abnormality which was just 'bad luck' so we knew there was no rational reason why another baby would have the same. We started ttc immediately after I'd had a period and I got pregnant the first month. This seemed like a miracle as it took years to conceive our first baby. For us, it was part of grieving and part of healing and we loved our second baby from the start. She doesn't replace the first at all but we are parents to a living child which we had wanted very much for a long time. The pregnancy was emotionally tough but not as tough as I expected and got easier as it progressed. We still love and miss our first very much but the grief has been eased by the love we have for our second baby

JOMH1982 Wed 02-Nov-16 10:58:57

I was investigated for secondary recurrent miscarriage (I have a four year old, we had no problems with the pregnancy at all). Not sure what a happened in that time but I was diagnosed with a slight blood clotting disorder and have been on blood thinning injections and extra progesterone. This was a shock as didn't think anything would be "wrong", but the treatment seems to be working so far. Might be worth waiting to see what they say just in case, if you can bear it? Best of luck xx

AvalancheRoses Wed 02-Nov-16 11:09:47

JOHM personally I think it's a clotting disorder as I have multiple SCH bleeds with my son, and I've also had four miscarriages around 11-12 weeks when I would expect placenta starts to take over. Thankfully they are going to investigate now and we will have answers but my gut just tells me that's what it is. I've also had embolism when not pregnant. Sadly they were going to put me on blood thinners when pregnant win my son as a precaution but I had a massive SCH bleed and they couldn't.

OhTheRoses Wed 02-Nov-16 11:46:03

Are you getting support from SANDS?

JOMH1982 Thu 03-Nov-16 20:40:50

I can really recommend the Sands helpline, it really helps to chat with someone outside of your usual circle, and in the early days it was a real lifeline for me.

So sorry to hear that it was too late for the blood thinners. I found getting an answer incredibly lifting and lightened some of the guilt I had been carrying xx

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