I'm on my third pregnancy. One dd aged 5, a mmc at 13 weeks, now 28+2. With dd and this time around I've found it a struggle to cope with the comments people make about my pregnancy size. I'm quite average when not pregnant- pear shaped, healthy bmi, size 10 top, 12 bottom. After years of ED, I'm generally happy with my figure and fairly body confident most of the time. Which is why I feel so pathetic, because I really struggle when people comment. My bump is measuring 27cm so in no way big, but everyone comments - some to talk about how 'huge' I am and some to say how neat it is. For as many 'are you sure there is only one in there?' Or 'Good grief! You've popped haven't you? It's going to be a big baby!' comments I've had, I've also had an equal number of 'Gosh, that's a tidy little bump isn't it?' Or 'you havent gained any weight any where else have you? Your all bump'. I know, rationally, that people just feel the need to make conversation. I know people do not mean any harm or to offend. I know I can't be both big and small so I should just ignore comments but I find it really hard. With dd I was measuring small at the end and people still commented the same way so the very fact that I'm even taking any notice this time is stupid. I feel so guilty to be bothered by it because, after my mmc, I know I'm so bloody lucky to be carrying this baby. I just feel like it's an endless stream of comments. My dh even said the other day that the women in the office at his school were saying what a neat bump I had. A compliment, but it still got to me that they had discussed my weight and then told my husband. I'm quite a private person and I hate being the centre of attention. Am I the only one who feels upset when people comment? I know I need to get over it and 'woman up' a bit. Any ideas how?
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Does anyone else find that 'bump comments' really get to them?
Whatsername17 · 30/10/2016 09:17
I really understand how your feeling, I have had this throughout all of my pregnancy! I was the same size as you pre-pregnancy. I have put on a lot weight (over 5 stone) but I did with my other children so I was expecting it, however the comments I have had have really hurt my feelings this time round, I've had all the same as you and even hurtful ones 'God you look hideous and disgusting' which just made me cry and feel awful- it got to the point the midwife referred me to the gp for anxiety as I didn't want to be seen in public; which is a big thing for me as i'm a massive social bumblebee.
Myy dh is really supportive and makes me feel great about myself as do my two children- I eventually just snapped myself out of it, with the help of my sister and realised I needed to cherish these moments being pregnant as it's going to be my last and has taken 2 years to get to this point after two miscarriages.
I am now 40 weeks (today..YAY!) and for the past 8 weeks I have just shrugged off the comments saying 'it's all doughnuts and cake, not a baby' and when people say is it twins, I just say ' who knows?' and laugh it off. I have to admit as my due date got closer, I couldn't care less what people said and just kept thinking in so many weeks I will have a baby!
It's all worth it in the end and I think it's completely normal to feel the way you do (these hormones have a lot to answer for!) I hope you feel better about yourself and can enjoy the precious moments of your pregnancy. Remember your body is doing a miraculous thing of growing a little human and everybody is different and carries differently 
.
I just agree and smile. Whether its 'gosh you've popped, it's massive' or 'what a neat bump' I just smile and say 'I know!' Then feel a bit shit and, on a bad day, have a little cry
I could have written this. I am getting so tired of the running commentary that I'm now actively avoiding social situations. On the same day last week I was told I was all bump; that I STILL LOOK NORMAL FROM THE BACK!!; my bump is so neat; 'well, actually, I measured big at my last midwife appointment which I'm quite anxious about' to cries of "your midwife is wrong" - as well as how I've "popped" "are you sure there's only one in there?" "You've put a lot of weight on at the back, so it could still be a girl!" This is before at least two people a day tell me I look pale and start quizzing me on what I'm eating / if I'm taking my vitamins. It's like being public property and I am completely and utterly fed up with it. 
I also don't think my reaction is hormonal. I can't think of any other time when I would find a commentary on my appearance acceptable or anything other than rage-inducing.
No they never bothered me at all. I thought it was nice of people to show an interest, and chatting about bump was always a nice thing to talk about. Not as if people can miss it! Plus I had other more important things to worry about. But everyone's different 
No, bump comments don't bother me but I can understand how they would bother others. The only one that has slightly irked me is when the woman who runs the hobby /class I attend after not going for a few weeks said, "come on then, let's see how fat you've gotten" 
What does annoy me to no end is when woman think because they allegedly worked in a tough job all day, went home to climb Mount Everest and make a 10 course banquet every night (slight exaggeration!) That everyone else should and if not, you're a lazy lump who'll end up with a grizzly baby!!
Not the same as I am still early but one of my friends commented when i told her i had heartburn 'oh baby's being a little shit then' 
my first experience of motherly fury lol
It's funny as EVERY pregnant women (I'm guessing at everyone here) has been told that their bump is either very big 'my god are you having twins' or very small 'are you sure you're that far along'. I got asked every day (no exaggeration) from 26 weeks if I was having twins or my bump was big (ended up that I was carrying 2st of water weight 
Im glad im not the only one! I know people are generally talking rubbish and have no clue what they are talking about. I think its that appraisal part that really upsets me. The fact that they tell me what they think about my size makes me feel like they are judging. Im pretty sure it is as much my issue as it is them being annoying. I will ignore it. For the next 11 weeks. However, once I get to full term I may kill someone.
However, once I get to full term I may kill someone
I'm 37 weeks, I'm tired, grumpy, uncomfortable and walrus proportion. If I could move fast enough, I'd totally do some murders.
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I feel like this too!!
Last night DP's sister told me my bump looked "fake" 
I try to shrug it off when people make comments because they'll just be making conversation, what I hate even more is when people grab your bump as soon as they see you!!
Amen to this thread, also fed up of ridiculous comments. We've had a few small for dates scares yet people still feel the need to comment on how 'neat' I am....I am grateful of their kind words but not what you want to hear when you think you're having a small one...which I'm actually sure I'm not, think the little monkey will be folded up tightly and be a whopper 
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