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What a mess. Pregnant and want to leave the baby's dad

(6 Posts)
Catherinewheel101 Sat 29-Oct-16 22:46:00

Hi all,
I feel I am in such a mess at the moment and don't know what to do.
I've been with my partner for 4 years. 3 of which have been happy and fun. The last year our relationship has struggled. We've tried hard to make things work and talked through a lot of the issues. I had decided in my own mind (probably sounds selfish) to give things until summer and then I would move out if we were still unhappy. I guess I had already started to think I'd be happier if single.
Just as Summer came, I found out I was pregnant. I'd been told I couldn't naturally conceive (another story) so we were both so surprised. I guess the thoughts of moving out were pushed aside.
I temporarily moved back to my parents whilst we had some building work done to our house and was so happy there. The pregnancy has been rough - I've been so sick and tired. My parents have been supportive and I love home so I've felt so happy there and in their company.
The thing is, I came back home - to mine and my partners house and all I've done is cry. I don't feel happy here and I don't know whether I feel happy with him. I love him but I'm not in love with him.
I don't know whether to move out or try give things a go. I dont want to bring a baby into a cr*p relationship and I won't stay in the relationship just for the sake of the baby.. it has to work for both of us.
I think it would come as a huge surprise if I told him I didn't want to be together. Yes we've had the rough year but it's not all been awful.
I just don't know what to do... sad

Chaseley Sat 29-Oct-16 22:51:57

Please do what makes you happy in the long term, you are right for not wanting to bring a child into a crappy relationship.
I'm in the exact same boat as you right now, I am absolutely miserable with him...we argue everyday & personally I don't want our child to be put through that.
Go and make yourself happy x

MouseLove Sat 29-Oct-16 22:55:32

Being pregnant has no baring on your long term happiness. If you were not pregnant would you have left by now?

Is there anything he could do to salvage the relationship or is your mind made up? If there is, talk to him.

Don't make this any harder. You either know or you don't. Ask yourself these questions and then decide. If you love him and you think it could be saved then tell him. But if you don't then walk away now.

ConvincingLiar Sun 30-Oct-16 07:16:45

Might counselling be an option? Won't necessarily save your relationship but might help you clarify your feelings.

Catherinewheel101 Sun 30-Oct-16 09:24:03

Thanks for your replies.
MouseLove - yes I probably would have left or looking to leave him once I felt strong enough.
Chaseley- although I don't wish this feeling on anyone it is assuring to know someone else is out there feeling the same. What Have you decided to do?

sad feeling very teary today about it all. I feel like telling him I don't want to be here but I'm worried once I say it there's no going back. I know I sound mad but as soon as I get to my parents house I feel like my body does a huge sigh of relief and I feel so much better.

Chaseley Sun 30-Oct-16 11:51:40

I made my decision a while ago, I'm so much happier when he's not around. I've told him he's welcome to see the baby when he's born, I just don't wish for him to be a part of my life. I knew I'd be miserable if I stayed.

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