Sex after Miscarriage

[typhoonsmum]

Hi everyone. I'm 16 weeks pg.

My problem is I have had two miscarriages last year at 5 and 8 weeks. Now I'm paranoid that I'll bleed at anything. Have banned DP from sex. Had a post coital bleed at 11 weeks and panicked again and now when it comes to night time things are tense between us. He was understanding at first but every now and again I get underhanded comments which hurt. I've tried to but I get scared and stop it.
Does anyone else feel like this and how should I sort it out.

[Nicki10]

Hi Typhoonsmum

I had a missed miscarriage last year at 5 weeks also,and I am now 8 weeks PG. I have also banned DP from sex but am actually finding that I am struggling myself with this. I'm terrified that it will cause another miscarriage as well especially as since my 2 ERPCS sex has always been painful.

The only thing I allowed this week was foreplay which I guess is a nice light release!.

xxx

[cupcake78]

I have also had two M/C and I am now 8 weeks as well.

I bleed after sex in both my previous pregnancies and therefore we have been told to behave ourselves. Even though I banned sex before we were even told this.

I am also having trouble with this. DH is getting abit restless!! and I am beginning to know how he feels.

Good to know there are others out there.

[pinkranger]

same here, i have had one misscarrage and have also barred DH from sex! ( i am nearly 12 weeks) - its justh that thought that IF anything did go wronge at least you cant blame that!!!

I tihnk there will be no sex in Pinks house for a Long time

( Dh is very understanding _ i hope )

[firststar]

Message withdrawn

[typhoonsmum]

As you know firststar DP has just lost his dad so I'm not paying too much attention to the comments.
As for the foreplay. I feel mean to get him worked up and then settle for second best but I'm going to have to get used to that I think. It will only be for another 5 months(plus the time after that'll be TOO sore)
I just feel like the worst person around.

[typhoonsmum]

At least we are not alone. Thanks for showing me I'm not being cruel.

[lulumama]

you are not being cruel

has your midwife or obstetrician discussed this with you?

have they categorically said no sex? do you simply feel it is too dangerous?

you still have 24 weeks to go, and you might well feel more able to resume sexual relations with your DH as the pregnacny progresses if it is not contraindicated


also, sex is more than penetration, it is a good opportunity to be close in other ways,
massage, foreplay and simply lots of cuddles and closeness

x

[typhoonsmum]

Not discussed it with anyone. It's too embarassing. It is a ban I imposed myself. If someone else had then I wouldn't feel so bad.

I think as I get further on then I will relax.

[lulumama]

ok...well, can you not discuss with DH..after all, sex is what got you pregnant...perhaps once you feel more secure that the pregnancy is ok , you will feel better about sex