I have this horrible fear of not loving him and how much my life will change and that I will never be myself again. I got with my ex around this time last year and moved in quite quick I was so in love with him he wasn't the best person as he had issues but I was in love and would of done anything for him. We both really wanted a baby and started trying in January and I was pregnant by March. When he found out I was pregnant he got scared and things changed it was like he didn't love me anymore. Anyway I ended up leaving him as he was messaging girls and he got in a new relationship two weeks after. He's now moved her in and there living together they've been on holiday he didn't even have a passport until I sorted it out for him and paid for it ( I sound bitter I know) it's just been so hard for me to find out all this out and go through this pregnancy alone. I didn't think he would just cut us out his life and never speak to us again but he has. I have greats friends and my mum is very supportive. But this isn't how I planned to do it now my due date is getting closer 22nd November I'm scared I won't love him and that I will have ruined my life. I just want to be a good mum and love him unconditionally but still be able to have my life. I never get emotional I never cry I've been strong this whole time im just scared of giving birth and them placing him on me and not feeling anything towards him.
Am I just being stupid? I really hope this is just normal.
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Pregnancy
Terrified of not loving my son :(
sophieeleanorxx · 21/10/2016 12:09
Honestly, you're human! The vast majority of us have felt this during pregnancy if only for a moment so don't be so hard on yourself! I know I worried about this, especially as my due date got closer but believe me when you have your son you'll be so overwhelmed with love you won't believe it. I look at my little boy and almost cry with the love and happiness he has bought me.
YOU WIL BE FINE!! 
Hello, Sophie. Just popping on to say how sorry I am you have had such a painful time of it. Please don't put yourself under pressure like this. You may feel love for your child instantly. You may not, and it will grow slowly over time, with every decision you make to care for his needs even when you don't feel like it. Actually, especially when you don't feel like it. Both are fine.
I didn't love my ds immediately, not everyone does, and that is totally normal and not anything to be concerned about. Love will develop over a few weeks and you will eventually love them more than anything. No one told me that I might not love him straight away and I felt terrible about it.
Please don't believe people who say that you will definitely love them the moment they are born, because it will make you feel bad if you don't.
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