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Pregnancy

(Almost too afraid to ask you all but ) is this a miscarriage?

72 replies

Anisse · 09/02/2007 12:58

Am almost 6 weeks pg, felt very nauseous at start but now nothing. I have had a very stressful 2 weeks and now my pg seems to be fading.

Have had dull period pains every night for 3 nights and today seeing slight hint of brown (trying to put it nicely).

Have been pg before and not had this happen, do you think I should fear the worst?

This year has been an emotional rollercoaster for us and although this pg was a complete shock now finding myself desperately hoping it works ou.
Oh no I am about to fall apart and I am just not allowed to.

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PeachyClair · 09/02/2007 12:59

Sorry to hear this

TBH I'd be more worried about fding symptoms than the rest

baby could well be OK, but call your EPU or GP for advice

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Anisse · 09/02/2007 13:02

Peachy I dont feel pg anymore and I am not handling this very well.
Maybe my hormones are allover the place?
Why do I feel so emotional? I am lucky enough to have healthy lovely kids already just suddenly this happens and I am feeling grief for something I didnt have yet??

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PeachyClair · 09/02/2007 13:12

You have grief for your plans, your dreams, and yes for a child- maybe the expectation of a child, but your child nonetheless

IF you have miscarried! call your GP, rather than torture yourself.

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Anisse · 09/02/2007 13:22

You are so true Peachy.
Oh I wish I could tell you my usual mn name but i cant post under it as a dear friend's baby has just died and I havent told her yet.(suffice to say we have chatted much before and you are always a gem.)

The midwife has just called me back and has arranged a scan and bloods for early next wk.

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PeachyClair · 09/02/2007 14:06

I really hope they go well- but f they don't you know where they (and we) all are.

Intrigued to know who you are but understand your reasoning!

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FioFio · 09/02/2007 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

dueat44 · 09/02/2007 14:14

'Feeling so emotional' might be a symptom of pregnancy in itself?

I'm sure I have read on other threads that brown (old) blood is a symptom of implantation and therefore all could be well.

Hoping so, anyway.

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Anisse · 09/02/2007 16:04

Still got the period pains all day. Feeling a bit more in control again now.
No more mild hysteria I hope.
I am going to remain positive Fiofio. I think that would be a dream to get 25% thru the pg and not know.
However its all very well the sweet natured midwife saying put your feet up etc, LOL not in this world !

Peachy I will tell you as soon as I can, just trying to be sensitive as she comes on MN too x

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Anisse · 09/02/2007 20:38

Its got worse.
I feel devastated.

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gingernut · 09/02/2007 20:45

. Worse in what way (i.e. bleeding and/or pain)?

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Enid · 09/02/2007 20:46

oh sweetheart it is horrible

I have been there - had dd1 then a miscarriage

is your dh/dp there

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Anisse · 09/02/2007 21:11

The bleeding is now bright red. Its still very light but all day I have had period pains. They have stopped since I lay down for an hour.
I just dont feel pg now. I really did for a week or so.
the kids are allover the place and am trying not to let them see I am upset.
(worst situation possible as they all overheard dh and I whispering excitedly about the baby this week and after their initial shock they are thrilled.)

Dh has just flown home again thank goodness and is trying to be sweet by saying things like we can try again. But I want this one.

God I am normally so sensible and matter of fact about these things, how come I feel wrecked?

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Anisse · 09/02/2007 21:12

Dont be nice to me Enid, Tell me off for being dramatic or I am going to sob again.

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gingernut · 09/02/2007 21:18

So sorry. This sounds similar to my experience (bleeding and pains gradually got worse until I started getting contractions - but was a bit further along than you. Also my symptoms had faded).

All the emotions you describe are normal IME.

Sorry I can't really be more help but will be thinking of you.

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Anisse · 09/02/2007 21:21

thank you gingernut, I am sorry you had to go through this. Did it upset you more than you expected too?

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gingernut · 09/02/2007 21:32

I don't know whether it was more than I expected...it was my first pg, very much wanted and had taken a while to conceive so I was brought very low. In fact I probably became depressed until I got pg again. It was pretty awful . I dealt with it by keeping as busy as poss. Maybe not the best way, I don't know!

dh was very sweet but didn't really understand. He too kept saying we could try again etc etc. It's not the point is it? But in the end I think they are right, you just can't see it at the time.

So, if it does turn out to be a m/c I would expect you to be feeling very down for quite a long time. I remember just crying almost all the time I wasn't at work for a week or so, and then quite a lot for ages afterwards.

I hope this prospect doesn't upset you even more...I just wanted to warn you so that you don't think you're coping badly if you do feel like that, IYSWIM.

Have to go now, will pop back later.

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DimpledThighs · 09/02/2007 21:42

I am very sorry to read this.

You sound like you are finding it hard to pinpoint what you are feeling and that is exactly how I felt. Just focus on getting through the next few days. Remember your hormones are all over the place - do what you can to remain comfortable.

Post and ask anything you want.

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gingernut · 09/02/2007 21:59

BTW I didn't mean to suggest that you should be feeling different because it isn't your first etc. I hope you didn't think that. I meant I did expect to be devastated if I had a m/c (and I was).

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sazzybee · 09/02/2007 23:17

I'm so sorry.

I think however you feel is the right thing for you to feel. I was a total mess when I miscarried and it took me a long time to get over it. But I know some women who have felt sad for a week or so and then been quite pragmatic about it.

There is no right or wrong. One of the most amazing things about getting pregnant (in my opinion), especially if it is unplanned, is the absolute miracle of it happening at all. So if it then fails it is very sad. You get your head around a total shift in your expectations and then have to revise it all. It's hard.

Be kind to yourself. I know you say you can't fall apart but I do believe that if you try and squash your feelings down, they will come out some way and it's better in the long run to allow yourself to grieve in the way that feels right to you.

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PeachyClair · 10/02/2007 10:00

I'm so sorry Anisse was really hoping all would be OK

You know where the CAT button is if you want a chat

otherwise

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magaddict · 10/02/2007 10:10

Hi Anisse
I know its scary but try not to panic until you have been to the early pregnancy unit or seen your mw. This same thing happened to me during my pg two years ago - I started with a brownish colour bleed, then it faded off then suddenly had a LOT of bright red blood - was convinced it was a m/c and went in to have a scan. Everything was ok in that case and I went on to have DD. It is the most terrifying thing and in some ways it may be better to fear the worst - I know I did as I was trying to prepare myself. Just be aware that early p/g bleeding is surprisingly common (I only found that out after talking about my own experiences)
and try and keep as calm as poss. Will be thinking of you.

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Anisse · 10/02/2007 12:31

thank you thank you.
You are all so kind and say just the right words too.

Gingernut, I know what you meant, I do feel lucky that I can cuddle my kids and that makes it so much easier, it truly does. I cant imagine what it must have been like for you.
A lot of the upset on my part is the fact that my pgs are utter nightmares and really are a labour of love. So much careful consideration has gone into all 3 of ours and I am in hospital for a lot of the time. So when I found out this was such a surprise and I had so much to worry about immediately (youngest is only 10mths).
Now I feel so guilty that I wasnt even sure that I was happy at first. It took a few days to sink in. My Mother was terrified for me.

It has got much worse for want of a better way of putting it.
I assume this is normal for a m/c, but then how do you know? I have no pain and the bleeding is so so.
I have given up hoping now, think the outcome must be pretty decided.

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Anisse · 10/02/2007 12:35

Magaddict, that is the same as me. Dh wants me go to hosp today but I dont think there will be any point, doubt there is a sonographer there at weekends.

Peachy, I have just told my sister who I was trying to keep it from, so I am ok to 'come out' again. (how embarrassing you prob dont even remember me; MrsNoah)Thank you for kindness x

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Anisse · 10/02/2007 12:35

Magaddict did they say why it happened?

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AdelaideS · 10/02/2007 12:40

Anisse, am thinking of you today. Went through the same when I already had ds and dd, felt very emotionally wobbly and then terribly terribly sad, but tbh the emotions levelled out after a week or two, were quite manageable and didn't dominate my whole day iyswim. Hope this makes sense, of course everyone's experience will be different and you may not be miscarrying at all.
Sending you positive vibes.

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