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Anybody else's husband being an arse over sex during pregnancy?

(34 Posts)
wrigglytoes Wed 12-Oct-16 11:45:44

I'm 16 weeks pregnant with our 3rd child (so it's not like he didn't know what to expect). DH is being an absolute prick sulking and generally being a moody bastard because I'm always tired and feeling sick, and also totally not interested in sex. I work full time and tbh just glad to make it through teatime most days to be able to crawl into bed! Feel like telling him to piss off, I'd be much better of financially anyway as a single parent lol!

louiseplusditi Wed 12-Oct-16 12:12:41

Hi,
Im not married but engaged! My partner and I used to have sex regularly...But for some reason the last couple of weeks we havnt bothered, I feel bad because I feel a bit mean...(as weird as it sounds ha!), I can tell hes getting grumpy because his sex drive is normal while mine is up and down and at the moment down...Im currently 23 weeks pregnant and just find I am sooo tired, my back aches my tummy aches!!
He says "All you say is no no no" Apart from feeling achy and tired I kind of say no because he doesnt understand the aches and pains and then when he wants to get intimate I feel annoyed with him and it destroys the mood...
So I guess I need to find some kind of middle ground with him, to get him reading prgnancy things to get him to understand then maybe it will help me want to be closer with him again.
Maybe talk to your husband and ask whats REALLY bothering him and try and get him to understand you as well xx

roarfeckingroar Wed 12-Oct-16 12:18:21

Your partners sont sound like partners they sound like selfish, unsupportive twats frankly. You're pregnant, growing and carrying a child. You're tired and sore. They should both be ashamed.

RasperryInAMelon Wed 12-Oct-16 12:18:51

I'm only 9 weeks but have zero sex drive... the tough thing is I know my hubby is still 'sorting himself out' which breaks my heart.

He's so understanding and also hasn't really tried it on with me since we found out three weeks ago, I have mentioned to him, that I might be more inclined if he actually came onto me, I'm starting to get to the fat stage as it is and him not wanting me isn't helping my confidence...

WellErrr Wed 12-Oct-16 12:19:28

Nope, this isn't normal and they should be ashamed. Sorry flowers

FrameyMcFrame Wed 12-Oct-16 12:21:00

So sick of hearing about these entitled arseholes.

CalmItKermitt Wed 12-Oct-16 12:22:39

Why on earth would it break your heart that he has a wank?? How odd.

Figgygal Wed 12-Oct-16 12:23:44

I didn't not think I've had sex now for 4 months dh hasn't wanted to come anywhere near me. At times I've been frustrated as hell but logistics of it all put us both off.

CalmItKermitt Wed 12-Oct-16 12:24:08

OP and Louise - the issue is that you are not with nice men.

That's the long and short of it.

RasperryInAMelon Wed 12-Oct-16 12:47:51

calm because my husband and I have such an active sex life, I know its not my 'job' but we're just so close normally so it's a big adjustment

leaveittothediva Wed 12-Oct-16 13:08:59

What was he like with the first two then.?. Was he the same. I mean if this was your first, he may not know what to expect but your 3rd, stretches credibility. Tell him to stop being a cheeky so and so, and to go sort himself out, and you'll get back to him if anything changes. Congratulations anyway, hope it all goes well. flowers

elmo1980 Wed 12-Oct-16 13:35:13

Nope. Mine has been very understanding and has basically said he's up for it whenever I want to so waits for me to initiate.

There have been a couple of occasions where I've not felt like it but it was obvious he was so I, urm, gave him a helping hand rather than leave him to it on his own which he really appreciates so that could be a good compromise. Sex is important and I am a little bit sympathetic to men who are used to having it on tap then all activity suddenly stopping, though there is no need to be an arse about it!

drinkyourmilk Wed 12-Oct-16 13:37:48

I've have the opposite problem. My husband won't go anywhere near me. I'm like a China bloody doll in his eyes. I'm gasping!!!!

wrigglytoes Wed 12-Oct-16 13:46:59

He was a bit grumpy with the first two also, but he has recently given up smoking so that also isn't helping with the moodiness. He is generally good in supporting me as I've had depression since having my second child. We don't have an overly active sex life anyway, I usually need a couple of glasses of wine to give myself a bit of confidence (which obviously isn't happening now!). We have had sex once since finding out I was pregnant and I started spotting two days afterwards and had to go for a scan (I've had a miscarriage before) so it's really put me off. He refuses to believe that the two incidents are related!!

raviolidreaming Wed 12-Oct-16 13:48:58

Nearly 24 weeks and no sex of any kind since we found out I was pregnant. DH has offered zero complaint and plenty of reassurance - as should be the case.

leaveittothediva Wed 12-Oct-16 14:16:13

Oh right, I emphasize with you there OP, him giving up the cigarettes, jeez that's tough (for you). And he was grumpy with the first two aswell, he really needs someone to take him aside, and give him a talking to. Maybe some man he respects. It's worked for someone I know. Maybe it's something to consider. Don't worry about posters telling you about how marvelous their men are being, while they are pregnant, it's a little bit mean, imo, and not very helpful, just ignore.

elmo1980 Wed 12-Oct-16 14:35:59

It's not mean leaveittothediva the op asked what other people's husband's were like in this particular area (not whether they are wonderful men in general, I'm sure the answers would have been very different if that had been the case haha) so we replied. Questions like this are asked to get other perspectives and experiences.

PeppaAteMySoul Wed 12-Oct-16 14:45:36

34 weeks here and still having sex BUT it absolutely wouldn't be happening if DP was in anyway pressuring me or being otherwise grumpy when I turned him down.

leaveittothediva Wed 12-Oct-16 15:56:16

elmo1980. Nope, it's mean and unhelpful. Thank you.

haveacupoftea Wed 12-Oct-16 17:24:29

No but then he has never pestered me for sex or sulked about it. He has a right hand and internet access doesn't he.

Kittenrush Wed 12-Oct-16 17:44:36

I'm 37 weeks and we're still going, don't get me wrong, not nearly so often but I definitely think it's because my lovely partner has put zero pressure on me. If he'd tried it on, on an evening where I felt crap or had reflux it probably would have put me off for life grin it's all about how they handle it. Your partner sounds like a bit of a dingus. Maybe just talk to him about it, ask him to let you come to him and being grumpy isn't a massive turn on for you!!

Difficultyear2015 Wed 12-Oct-16 22:39:30

I'm getting to the plump stage and my dp is still coming onto me and we still have fun as much as we did before.
We both understand this may change throughout so making the most of it while I feel ok and he is happy and supportive

hunnybunny619 Wed 12-Oct-16 23:00:21

My DH is a total pain. The doctor has put us on a sex ban due to complications but he still bitches at me like it's my fault. He even mentioned the possibility of doing anal instead..... FUCK RIGHT OFF MATE!!

Bumbleclat Wed 12-Oct-16 23:29:29

My DH is understanding to be honest we I am are finding the logistics tricky we've had to change to a different position to normal and it's a bit complicated compared to the lovely straight up sec we're used to.

smellsofelderberries Wed 12-Oct-16 23:56:55

My husband hasn't said a word about how much or little sex we're having, as should be the case. He's happy when we do and happy when we don't. As should be the case when you have a supportive partner.

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