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How to tell OH without an argument?

(3 Posts)
Bexta147 Thu 22-Sep-16 16:04:06

Last night OH returned home and informed me his Mam has 6 weeks holiday left to take and once we know the date of my section she will arrange to take some holiday. Fair enough as she lives an hour away and doesn't drive etc and she will obviously want to meet her new grandchild. He then mentioned about her coming to stay during week 2 to help out.
I thought it was a good idea at first, she would be able to sort the older two out etc and help with school runs while I still can't drive.
However thinking about it today I've decided it's not a good idea at all. Both the boys show off and act themselves even more, especially the oldest as mil thinks he can do no wrong and the sun shines out his backside, this will be more stressful than if she's not here. I can also remember how uncomfortable I was around people after the births of both the boys. I could cope with having people around for an hour or so then I would be fed up and wishing they would disappear home. I'm not the most social person to start with. I think I would feel on edge the whole time of she was here for a few days.

My problem is telling OH. I can see him being a massive arse about it and trying to say it's because it's his Mam etc etc and I wouldn't do it if it was my family. Which is BS as I would rather have his Mam here than my own. Plus it's diffrent with my own family I would quite happily tell them it was time to piss off home!
He's also desperate to get back to work. He only had to take a week off last time as we still lived near family so my Mam came and took the oldest to nursery everyday until I was able to drive.
He's desperate to go back after a week this time too but we now live over an hour away from
Everyone and have no help. I know I can manage fine in the house by myself after a week but I won't be able to drive and the school is too far to walk there and back 3x a day.

It's completely rational to ask that she doesn't come and stay isn't it? My hormones are running crazy lately and I never know wether I'm over thinking things! I hope this isn't just a massive ramble blush

Vb87 Thu 22-Sep-16 18:15:08

I understand how you feel, my mil lives NEXT DOOR in an adjoining "granny flat". My DH keeps saying how much help she will be when the baby's born and all I want to do is be alone with my DH and new baby. We've done it before and I don't really want someone there all the time. At the moment she keeps herself to herself but I know the second the baby's here she will let herself in or be knocking all the time! My mil isn't in a position to take my older daughter to school and is she isn't physically able to look after a baby.

I understand that it's exciting for grandparents but staying in the same house is a bit much...id have a chat with your OH and let him know how you feel. At the end of the day if he's back at work then it's you that's at home with her all day.

Hope everything works out for you smile

Lizaveta Fri 23-Sep-16 10:28:03

Did you tell him about this? Maybe you feel different after baby arrive?

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