I feel awful posting this but think it might help writing it down somewhere. I am in my mid 40s and pregnant with my first (only 5 weeks so very early days). I know I should be the happiest person alive as so many people of my age can't get to this point. I thought I would be happy but have spent the past week sobbing. Part of the problem is I have probably stayed with my partner (only about a year) because I wanted to get pregnant. I know that's not right and now the reality has hit home. I feel like the nastiest person alive and am scared about the future. I know how selfish I sound and what I would be saying if I read this. I haven't told anyone yet and feel very lonely. I'm sorry, I just needed to write this down somewhere.
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