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Struggling to cope with unreasonable family members.

(11 Posts)
Titchypanda Tue 16-Aug-16 10:27:11

Is anyone else having the same problem?

My younger sister has always been very highly strung and hormonal with bad mood swings and temper. Mostly I just ignore it or acquiesce to whatever she wants. But I find now with my raging hormones that I'm less willing to put up with it and because she no longer wins all the arguments, she can be quite nasty.

If I talk about baby, she tells me her opinions and that's fine, but when I choose to not agree with her suggestions she goes nuts and says I'm accusing her of lying even though she is a mum and has experience.

Obviously I have different ideas on how I want to raise my baby. Nothing significant, but I'm more frugal so I don't see the point in buying very expensive or unnesscessary things. So she says I will be a bad mother that doesn't care about the welfare of my child.

She has been generous in giving us things her daughter no longer uses and for which I'm very grateful and have said so, but I don't need everything as we already have most things we need, so some items I've turned down (we don't need 3 baths) but then she shouts at me for being ungrateful and says she will never help me again.

I pick names, she tells me they are chavvy and horrible. So I chose a name she likes that she had said we could use and now she says we're horrible, selfish, name stealers that have stolen the only name she's ever loved and she hopes the baby is the opposite gender so we can't use it. Also she said she doesn't want to talk to me about baby and just to inform her when it's born.

Then she will find ways to try and start another argument even though she doesn't want to talk. And when I don't answer she makes up health problems to make me worry and check on her.

I really don't need this at the moment. I am already a high risk pregnancy and it has taken many years of fertility treatment for us to get pregnant, I worry about what the stress will do to the baby.

I miss my niece dearly but I feel like at this point I need to cut of contact with my sister for my own sanity and health of the baby.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with it all?

Jodie1982 Tue 16-Aug-16 11:18:13

I would decrease contact. I couldn't be around my sister if she was like that and stressed me out so much. She sounds very childish.

Titchypanda Tue 16-Aug-16 11:26:24

We have a big family gathering coming up and I'm dreading it. Looking for excuses not to go!

HughLauriesStubble Tue 16-Aug-16 13:51:50

Decrease contact OP your sister sounds like a proper nightmare and is only going to get worse as the pregnancy goes on. Can your mum or someone else have a word with her to wind her neck in?

Whatsername17 Tue 16-Aug-16 14:18:14

Your sister sounds jealous. She is being utterly ridiculous and needs to mind her own business. Enjoy your pregnancy and ignore her, op.

BeardMinge Tue 16-Aug-16 16:45:38

Your sister sounds batshit crazy, just stop talking to her about it.

TheCrumpettyTree Tue 16-Aug-16 19:41:37

Stop discussing names with her!

DesignedForLife Wed 17-Aug-16 04:12:30

Stop discussing baby stuff with her, especially names. Just say you are keeping it secret.

Try to avoid her. Maybe come down with an unexpected bug the day of the family gathering? Chest infection maybe as no one will worry about your baby, but won't want to catch it either.

3littlefrogs Wed 17-Aug-16 05:56:52

Just be ill with something potentially infectious, then avoid her as much as you can.
She sounds horrendous.

Wolpertinger Wed 17-Aug-16 06:21:04

Stop discussing stuff with her. She isn't hormonal, she's manipulative.

Titchypanda Fri 19-Aug-16 15:30:47

Well today was very upsetting.

I thought we had turned a corner after a few days of not speaking. She sent me a message wishing me luck at my hospital appointment and asked me to let her know how I got on. I sent her a message with the information and we sent a few messages and all was going fine until she misinterpreted something I said. I explained it was a genuine compliment but she completely flipped and went on a massive rant and rave expecting me to apologise for something I've not even done and then tried to emotionally blackmail me. It's stressed me to tears and my husband has gotten angry with me for being upset because she's always awful and this time is no different .

When I refused to argue she tried more emotional blackmail before refusing to ever speak to me again. I don't understand how she doesn't realise how bad stress is for a pregnant woman.

I will respect her wishes and not speak to her but I will miss my little niece so much. Thankfully my parents FaceTime me when they have her so I can still see her on occasion. Absolutely broken hearted.

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