Not sure where to post this...but feel like I can't talk to anyone in RL and just need to get it out. Really don't want to upset or anger anyone, so please can I not be judged. I'm an 'older' mum to be and have wanted a baby all my adult life. Thought it would never happen and now here I am.... With a man I adore and a baby on the way. We're having a girl...I always wanted a girl when I was younger, hated the idea of having a boy... Then I grew up and realised any child would be a blessing. Then I met and fell in love with DP. He already has 3 girls, by 3 women (not as bad as it sounds - all LTRs and no cheating involved). He is an amazing Dad and we see his girls all the time. I was absolutely convinced we were having a boy, all the old wives tales supported this and I don't think for one minute I even considered it might be a girl. We had picked a name, a school, it was all sorted. Now we know it's a girl and I said half joking, half serious, that we are just about young enough and all being well we could squeeze in 2 children, hoping for 1 of each! He has completely refused this, saying he doesn't want anymore. I'm so sad....sad because I desperately wanted to give him a boy and sad because I thought he would be happy if we had 2 - even if they were both girls - I wanted to be different from the other 3 mothers. Does that sound ridiculous!? I know that I will adore my daughter, that I will not for one minute wish she was a boy, I just can't stop the tears and I feel so bloody stupid!
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