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Suddenly alone when pregnant

(11 Posts)
tilleuls Thu 21-Jul-16 22:41:38

Hi all,
Sorry in advance for this post, I just don't know where to turn. I'm currently 17 weeks pregnant and have just found out that my partner has been arrested and could be facing significant jail time. Feeling really alone...I had no idea about any of this and I'm totally in the dark. Not to mention scared, hurt and angry.
I don't want to bring up the baby on my own and I'm not sure if I can handle this. Any support would really be appreciated. I just moved to a new city and I don't have any friends here so feeling very lonely and lost.
X

BabyWitch Fri 22-Jul-16 12:55:43

Hi Tilleuls didn't want to read and run.
Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy. I'm so sorry to hear about your partner, that sounds like such a shock.
I don't have much advice, except talk to your midwife as soon as you can. In my area we have a scheme where women volunteer to be paired up with a 'vulnerable' (this is a wide-reaching term) pregnant woman to offer support - be that a listening ear or to accompany you to appointments, for example. It's called 'Bump Buddies' and maybe there's something similar where you are that your midwife (or GP?) can refer you to.
Or there's tellmeagoodbirthstory.com/find-a-birth-buddy/
They run a similar scheme nationwide.
I wish you well.

tilleuls Fri 22-Jul-16 14:18:07

Thank you so much. I'll definitely ask my midwife about that when I get appointed one (I've just moved here from France).
Xxx

quitecrunchy Fri 22-Jul-16 15:07:59

Hi tilleuls, sorry you're going through this, what a shock! Do you have any friends or family who might be able to visit you soon for some support? None of this is what you thought you were getting into but you can handle this for your baby, just take it one day at a time. I'm sure you'll be a great mum no matter what happens.

TheFandango Fri 22-Jul-16 16:26:06

Sorry to hear this, sounds very tough. It might be worth checking out your local children's centres, as sometimes they do 'bumps and babies' type groups, though you may feel at 17 weeks it's a bit too early with you, may be something for the coming months. All the best. flowers

2nds Fri 22-Jul-16 16:34:29

Woukd women's aid help?

tilleuls Fri 22-Jul-16 17:11:40

Thanks everybody. I did have a look at womensaid online but I thought it was just for domestic abuse so I wasn't sure...perhaps I will try to get in touch with them.
Feeling very low and tearful, this isn't helped by the lack of information from the French police and the embassy so I'm totally in the dark. I feel totally lost and just want to keep myself moving forward and not get depressed but it feels like an inevitability right now.
I'm with my mum now but I'm alone most of the day so it's quite hard to keep myself occupied.
Thanks for all of your help xx

quitecrunchy Fri 22-Jul-16 17:26:23

Glad you have your mum with you now OP, hope you get some more information soon.

mikesh909 Fri 22-Jul-16 17:33:25

Hi Tilleuls,

Sorry to hear about this situation. I'm also pregnant and can't imagine how hard it must be to find yourself suddenly alone.

You say you've just moved into the area - are you working? If not, I imagine keeping busy / finding ways to meet people are the ways to keep moving forward. Are there any pregnancy yoga classes or similar in your area? Something like that is a good way to meet people without who are also pregnant. Is it a big city you've moved to? I can imagine the last thing you really feel like doing is trying to meet new people but perhaps the support you would eventually get from a network of locals could be invaluable long term. If you're up to it, try meetup.com or similar for groups that appeal to your interests?

PP's suggestions of seeking support from your midwife are also good. Chase them up if they haven't assigned you one yet.

And finally, is there anyone in real life you can talk to about how you're feeling? Friends / family don't necessarily need to be local to be supportive and, if not, there's always MN flowers.

Buggers Fri 22-Jul-16 17:49:11

So sorry your going through this. Is there a chance the police have the wrong guy? chocolateflowers

tilleuls Fri 22-Jul-16 20:20:27

Hey everybody,
Thankfully I have heard from my partner and everything is fine and cleared up and he's back home now. Thanks so much for your support.
I'm very relieved and tired!
flowersflowersflowersflowers

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