fucking consultant did his job too well

[zoobeedoo]

Had a very traumatic first pregnancy, labour and post natal complications. Dont want to go into too much detail, but important facts are severe pre eclampsia, EMCS that did not go so well, an infection in uterus followed by PTSD. Decided I would never have another baby as was a fairly horrific experience.
10 years later I am now 21 weeks with baby 2, new hubby to be, very excited about being a mum again with an amazing partner I could not ask for more from.
I had decided on ELCS to avoid the chaos that happened last time, totally dead set on it.
Saw obstetric consultant yesterday who said he totally understood where I was coming from, understood my anxiety (I was jabbering like a total basket case through appointment) and would support my ELCS if that was my decision.
He then said " I want you to consider sitting here in front of me at 38 weeks, as healthy as you are now, no different to how you are now just a bigger bump. No pre eclampsia. Would you still choose to put yourself through a serious operation for no real medical reason? Taking into account the recovery and potential complications. Think about it and we will discuss it further on in pregnancy"
I left appointment and burst into tears (I'm not a crier.) floods of tears again last night. I just do not know what to do. He spoke too much sense, I wish he had not been the voice of reason. Fuck fuck fuck fuck!!! Is how I'm feeling right now. Anyone been through this??

[Felascloak]

Me! It was very annoying. I did two things - asked for a home birth instead of CS which I was advised against because of risk (that illustrated to me that it wasn't likely to be plain sailing despite the consultants outlook) and then cried at my 38 wk appointment and got booked in. God it was stressful. I spent the last half of the pregnancy agonising about birth options.
I would prefer a complication free VB to a section bit the EL CS was so much easier than my previous 2 births and recovery was ok too.
I would leave it now until 38 wks and see how you feel. The decision may get made for you.

[Dandelionsmakeyouwee]

I don't think your consultant was wrong for saying that you might possibly be fine this time around and it is a major operation, he is just looking for your best interest at heart and clearly seems very empathetic of your past situation.
He isn't saying you can't have ELCS he is saying think about it closer to the time.

If it's really stressing you out that much, just say you went home, thought about it, it upset you at the thought of not having it and you'd still like to go ahead, healthy or not.

Don't think too deeply about it right now, lots of time left to think it over, enjoy your pregnancy :) BTW I had a horrific VB too, I still wouldn't consider EL CS though. That's just my opinion.

[LizzieMacQueen]

I think it will be hospital policy not to agree this at the stage you are at. Try not to stress (maybe look into private options nearby).

Can't resist the joke in your thread title though - fucking consultant, well you are pregnant so I guess 'he' did do his job well!

Congratulations.

[Babymouse]

You could be in fantastic at 38 weeks and still end up needing a ECS during labour. I think you need to do your own risk assessment and decide what level of risk you want to take around how you deliver. If you want an elcs given your previous experience don't feel guilty about requesting one.

[zoobeedoo]

Thanks everyone. Lizzie, I didn't even notice the double entendre I have just had a giggle at that.
My problem now is that I am just not sure one way or the other, after being positive before hand. So he is looking after my best interests by helping me see both options - it's my head that can't cope with it! I insisted last time that I did not want a section, I was stubborn and persevered for vb and it all went quite badly wrong. Now if I push for ELCS and I get ill again.... Or if I try vbac and end up with emcs... Aaahhh. I'm the most in control, together person in normal life, I run a business, I make the big decisions every day. no one would believe I'm stressing like this! Pregnancy turns me into a jibbering wreck.