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Sharing finances and responsibility

(42 Posts)
Klaw1982 Wed 13-Jul-16 20:39:14

Hi guys.

I'm hoping for some advice.
I have been married for nearly two months now and I have two children from a previous. Before we married we moved in together. Since we have moved in,I had to change my job so income is much less now but I could cope financially because my ex also contributed to the children. However he has now stopped paying maintenance since I have limited him having the children to every other weekend.

The strain on my finances has hit hard this month and I've had to ask my husband for help with food shopping.

But after talking with him I feel like I've had to beg for money!!! So here are the facts.

I earn on a good month 1130.00 I pay all bills, child related expenses, petrol, and food

Husband earns two wages one is 3000.00 the other is 800.00 he. Pays for the mortgage 1300.00 and his van 189.00 and my car 189.00

So are we splitting this right because I feel like I'm being controlled financially!

All I earn goes into the house and I go to work keep the house and look after the children.

How does everyone else cope?

peggyundercrackers Wed 13-Jul-16 20:46:30

Curious as to why you have changed childcare arrangements with your ex?

yuen86 Wed 13-Jul-16 20:51:00

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EverythingWillBeFine Wed 13-Jul-16 21:02:30

You should either split the bills in proportion to your wages.
Or put everything in the pot and ensure you have the same amount of money for yourself.

Can't be bothered to calculate exactely what is what but if by paying all that stuff, you don't have enough money to pay for food at the end of the month, let alone some money to spend for yourself, then there is something utterly wrong in your organisation.

I'm curious to know why you have reduced contact. I also have an issue with your ex using maintenance as a way to put pressure on you or a way to get back at you. He needs to remember that the money is for his children not for you to have fun with.

EverythingWillBeFine Wed 13-Jul-16 21:03:27

yuen in which century are you living?? The 19th century or earlier?

yuen86 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:05:01

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user1468439722 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:05:04

Yuen I pity ur poor wife

yuen86 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:06:06

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yuen86 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:07:07

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EverythingWillBeFine Wed 13-Jul-16 21:08:27

Oh look a troll....

Have a biscuit and it will feel better. There .....

Somerville Wed 13-Jul-16 21:08:42

If your ex is having your children less, he should be paying more, not less. You need to pursue him through CSA.
But why is he having them less - is this in their best interest?

I can see that your husband might not want to contribute to your costs of your children. Though personally I think once you marry someone it is best to have everything on a level footing. Did you discuss this before you got married?

yuen86 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:10:29

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user1468439722 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:10:50

Slug gringringringringrin

yuen86 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:14:49

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TheWeeBabySeamus1 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:16:56

yeun are you a bit bored tonight love? There's some great series on Netflix that can keep you occupied so you don't have to keep posting outrageously goady comments on here.

OP, I think that when there's such a difference in earnings that the bills should be split to reflect that. So if he earns 70% of the total family income he pays 70% of the bills.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:18:28

Yuen rather grin

yuen86 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:20:26

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user1468439722 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:21:23

Op,
Everyone does things differently but me and my partner have a joint account all our money goes in there and all bills come out of there..
I would get too confused having seperate accounts, but that's easily done, grin
Think that way it takes the pressure off over who pays for what..

TheWeeBabySeamus1 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:22:25

or are you that old is that what you meant to say?

user1468439722 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:26:10

There's a lot of grammar enthusiasts on here tonight.
That's a few threads iv seen this on.
Seamus, Yuen was being a knob, but don't see what his spelling mistakes has got to do with anything? Maybe you should use your talents to help people rather than criticise.

yuen86 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:28:16

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TheWeeBabySeamus1 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:29:39

Did you miss Yuens posts? He corrected my spelling, so I pointed out his error in return. And he's a goady mate who's making awful comments on a thread where someone is genuinely asking for advice.

Is that a good enough reason miss? Can I get off the naughty bench now?

user1468439722 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:30:30

Well why are you giving him the satisfaction of retaliating?

unimagmative13 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:31:58

My husband pays everything while I'm on maternity (it used to be me then we would use his weekly wage as spending and debt money)

So every week I put aside 1/4 of our monthly outgoings. I give him pocket money from the rest then I do the shopping then I get the rest for me baby and anything else.

It may should harsh and OH sometimes gets peed with it but our bills are always paid on time and there's always money left for something we share such as meals out, days out etc. So he doesn't worry about that.

My maternity pay and benefits then go on bigger items or things we need to pay out that we have agreed before hand. For example we might have a night out coming up or we bought a BBQ last week.

This way we know if I had no income we can survive on OH wage solely.

We done it different ways when we both worked full time but we always like to be able to live of one wage just incase something happened to our Job (like me going on maternity for instance I don't feel pressure financially)

yuen86 Wed 13-Jul-16 21:32:32

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