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Why am I so terrified?

(12 Posts)
limeandsoda93 Thu 30-Jun-16 12:41:17

Of going overdue? This is my first baby, I'm 39+3. I know that due dates are not schedules and that babies can happily stay in another two weeks. Logically there's no reason for me to be so stressed about this. But I'm going mad looking for signs of labour. It doesn't help that dp's paternity leave starts on Monday (due date) and I feel under pressure for him to have as much time with baby as possible (he's not made me feel like this I've put it on myself). I'm also wary of sweeps and induction, and feel like I need to get my skates on to avoid this. Add to that the increased risk of stillbirth (tiny I know) and I start feeling sick. I know I sound ridiculous, just wondering if anyone has else has ever felt like this?

ThinkPinkStink Thu 30-Jun-16 12:48:45

I have not given birth yet (I'm 26 weeks) and I'm sure that someone with more experience will be along soon to help.

BUT, I imagine that in the days before birth it can quite easily feel very very scary.

Whether you're scared of the birth in general, or going over-due, or pooing yourself, or having to have an ecs, or the actuality of having a baby - my guess is that fear is actually quite normal.

If I were in your position right now, I'd Google birthing relaxation techniques (things like this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOEWGiiy5sw).

Maybe not your thing if you're not usually into meditation etc. but it can't hurt.

GOOD LUCK! flowers

Thurlow Thu 30-Jun-16 12:51:10

It's scary when it's so imminent, and you have no control over it at all, that's a perfectly normal reaction to have so don't panic about it! Pregnancy and logic rarely go hand in hand smile

Can your DP change his paternity leave? Normally paternity leave starts once the baby arrives (so companies expect short notice) rather than picking a date beforehand.

OhTheRoses Thu 30-Jun-16 13:01:25

DD eventually arrived with the help of maternal semtex at 41.5. Other births at 36.5 and 27 so shall we say a stressful pg and one regarded as high risk. They induced in the end for my sanity although we were checked daily from 40 weeks.

Had a pessary at 10 am. Didn't like registrar who came to break my waters so said actually you won't be doing that. Not much progress at 7pm so they wanted to put up a syntocynon drip and I said fine, providing I have an epidural first. Waters broke waiting for the anaesthetist and pains started. Epidural done, no need for syntocynon. Dd arrived three hours later. 8lb 13oz and no stitches, apgar of 9.5. It was the perfect birth. I did poo and the midwife swept it quickly away without mentioning it.

Good luck. Get yr dh to change his pat leave I'm always,flexible with expectant dads.

SpeckledFrog2014 Thu 30-Jun-16 13:04:56

I was 12 days overdue with my first and Don't hold out much hope for being on time this time. I'll be refusing a sweep this time as it was a pointless procedure for me first time around. My dd was fine although a little over cooked (her feet were a little sore) and she was just over 9lb but I didn't have a problem getting her out. I can honestly say being overdue first time around was awful as I had already been unable to sleep properly for six weeks due to being uncomfortable. This time around I've actually asked my husband to start paternity leave on a set date regardless of its relation to baby showing up as last time my waters went when he was at work and I remember him being so tired after the birth he was useless through lack of sleep.

I share your feelings about being induced as it's not something I want, although maybe for different reasons, but if you feel that worried about increased stillbirth risks post 42 weeks then this is the option. Also if our waters go but labour doesn't start it is the safer option.

A positive way to look at it is that our bodies are very clever and often do the right thing. If you're going to go over it's probably better for baby as they may just need a little more time to ripen up. Also you'll get a last few days as a couple to share and enjoy, so pick something relaxing you can do together and both of you rest well. Good luck, I'm three days behind you smile

BendydickCuminsnatch Thu 30-Jun-16 13:06:39

Aw good luck! It can be miserable to be overdue but at least it's only for a limited time smile If it makes you feel any better I went 11 days over and felt fine, had 2 sweeps (fine), was induced which took 12 hours overall and was in labour for less than 40 minutes (2cm-born in 40 mins). It was good smile

SpeckledFrog2014 Thu 30-Jun-16 13:10:37

Also pooped here too, it's pretty common my dh actually wiped my bum (true love, haha) when the midwife nipped out. Don't worry about that it's all pretty common. I even had someone tell me it was the best poo they'd ever had, I suppose it would be be if you've suffered constipation in pregnancy.

NotWithoutMyMerkin Thu 30-Jun-16 13:11:24

Paternity leave;

Start and end dates
Leave can’t start before the birth. It must end within 56 days of the birth.
You must give your employer 28 days’ notice if you want to change your start date.
You don’t have to give a precise date when you want to take leave (eg 1 February). Instead you can give the general time, eg the day of the birth or 1 week after the birth.

Blossom567 Thu 30-Jun-16 13:25:39

I'm 9 days over and waiting to see midwife at 3pm today. Also nervous of sweeps and being induced, had hoped it would all happen naturally as DS was 4 days early. Baby kicking and happy - really don't know what to do at 3pm : sweep or not. Expecting to be pushed for induction next week. Haven't seen anyone since 38 weeks.
OH also been off for 2 weeks (one as AL & other as pat leave - or so I thought, will have to get him to check now).

NapQueen Thu 30-Jun-16 13:28:19

Your DP really needs to amend his paternity leave plans with work - they should start at the birth.

Bytheseabythesea Thu 30-Jun-16 13:34:13

You are probably putting all your anxieties at the moment on this. Tell your DH your worries as it sounds like they are overwhelming you a little. Know that it is very very common to go overdue. I was induced and everything went fine. Plan something nice for the next few days like a manicure, film or coffee out, just relaxing things that you can cancel at short notice but so you are not moping around around the house. It's a strange time, but try some relaxation techniques and get lots of rest

Blossom567 Thu 30-Jun-16 20:44:04

Turns out he knows about pat leave & it's all sorted. Had sweep & booked for induction next week. Chat with midwife was very helpful & reassuring to hear heart beat & know all is well. Recommend OP you chat to your midwife about your worries - really helped me today.

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