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Pregnant after a MC - scared I'll lose it again

(10 Posts)
sizeofalentil Wed 15-Jun-16 17:58:41

Just that really.

I know there's loads of threads on this already, and you're probably already fatigued of this… But can't really talk to friends or husband about it because they're just like 'oh you'll be fine!' - and don't want to discuss it any more.

I'm 5 wks pregnant and really scared I am going to lose it again. I mc'd at 7.5 wks last time.

Every twinge is upsetting for me, because I think it's going to happen again. Feel like I can't concentrate at work because of it (though I am not over-the-top upset… Just like a constant low-level anxiousness).

Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me please?

QueenEnid Wed 15-Jun-16 18:56:21

No words of wisdom but sending hugs xx

Metalhead Wed 15-Jun-16 20:02:04

Just take it one day at a time, it's all you can do IMO. Maybe try some meditation, it helped me relax for a few minutes a day at least. And if you need somewhere to offload, check out the posifrickentivity thread on here for ladies pregnant after mc, everyone there is in the same boat and will know exactly what you're going through. Good luck!

Happilymarried155 Wed 15-Jun-16 20:08:51

I know how you feel, I had a miscarriage in my first pregnancy but went on to have a successful pregnancy and gave birth to a lovely little boy. I'm now pregnant again and I'm so worried incase something is wrong. I've booked an early scan for a few weeks time to put my mind at rest and am just trying to keep myself busy in the meantime. Sending you hugs, in sure everything will be fine x

smellsofelderberries Thu 16-Jun-16 15:21:40

I know just how you feel, and it is a crappy feeling. It's so uncommon to have 2 miscarriages in a row. Like Metal said, just take it 1 day at a time. Expect to have a hard time when you get to the point where you miscarried your last pregnancy too, but I found it gets so much easier after that. Good luck flowers

Pinkheart5915 Thu 16-Jun-16 15:30:29

I had a stillbirth in my very first pregnancy so I know a little of how scared you can be in the next pregnancy.

I now have a healthy ds who is 9 months, my second pregnant went perfectly. Now pregnant again and so far all is fine

Just take one day at a time and my thinking is because it happened once surely it's unlikely to happen again that's just what I have to believe

I hope your pregnancy goes very well for you flowers

sueevone Thu 16-Jun-16 20:00:02

I feel for you, I had a miscarriage 18 months ago while we were trying for our first child 6 weeks into our pregnancy. We were travelling to Thailand on holiday and I started to bleed on the way to the airport- to say it was a traumatic flight is an understatement.
We then found out we were pregnant 5 days before we were due to go on holiday to Bali this year, as you can imagine I was very excited but absolutely terrified and although we had been looking forward to our holiday the thoughts of something going wrong all came flooding back.
I am now 13+4 and had my first scan today,l and was so happy to see the little one jump around (had a private scan at 9 weeks for reassurance when I had a pretty bad bleed and thought we'd lost the baby) And although I have been very nervous still, I have slowly got over obsessing over every cramp, checking my pants after every wee and obsessing over everything that can go wrong. It's not reassuring when people say things happen for a reason but you really do have no control over it so my advice would be to just take each day as a win and the days will be come weeks and the weeks months.
I wish you all the best.

sizeofalentil Fri 17-Jun-16 19:50:08

Thank you all so much for your replies. They really helped a lot.

When I had the MC DH was, to put it lightly, not much help because instead of actually taking in what was happening he convinced himself that it was twins and I was losing one baby and not the other. So I had to really spell it out for him that that 100% wasn't the case. He tends to hide away from negative news/thoughts to won't listen to any of my worries about this pregnancy (he is a wonderful husband and partner in every other way).

I think I just needed someone to acknowledge what I was thinking. If I can get to 8 weeks I'll feel a lot better because I would have passed the last time.

I'm so sorry for all of you who have experienced loss. You've all been so kind to comment on this and I've had a good couple of days since reading your comments.

flowers flowers flowers

mikesh909 Fri 17-Jun-16 23:07:30

I'm 11 weeks down the line from you with a similar history. There isn't anything to do except take things one day at a time. I have found this thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2631923-Staying-posifrickentive-Thread-9-for-ladies-pg-after-mc mentioned by a pp invaluable. People in real life don't tend to talk about these things much, so it has been a wonderful support to have people to talk to who have experienced similar things. Come and join in if you like!

Sophia1984 Sat 18-Jun-16 19:14:11

I had a blighted ovum at 7 weeks in August and was pregnant again by November. I'm now 33 weeks! It is nervewracking, but you just have to take each day as it comes and work on staying calm (easier said than done I know!). I've found yoga and meditation really helpful.

I know some people end up having early scans for reassurance but, personally, I think this can make anxiety worse and get a bit addictive. I've managed with just the 13 week and 20 week scan and one I had to have at 32 weeks cause my placenta had been low-lying at 20 weeks. Waiting for the scans is difficult, and then is when you will probably need your partner/family/friends to lean on. If you feel your anxiety is getting unbearable, do talk to your GP or midwife once you have one - there is help out there they can refer you for.

My other piece of advice is to try and enjoy the pregnancy and building a bond with your baby - anxiety can really rob you of what should be a special time.

[and the posifrickentive thread is amazing!]
And congratulations!

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