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who's my baby's dad?please help :(

(22 Posts)
sunrise1993 Thu 09-Jun-16 17:36:43

This sounds really bad but i had sex with two different men and now am pregant, it was a silly mistake as i was very drunk number 1 man is the man i had been dating and the other was a one night stand drunk I am not proud of this, my first day of my last peiord was the 22 nd of April 2016, i had sex with the number 1 man on the 30th of April early hours the 1st of May 2016 then had a one night stand on the 6th of May early hours the ' 7th ' it was after 12 mid night but around 5 am on the 7th of may who is my baby's dad?am not proud of this I feel ashamed but really need help thankyou, i want to keep my child but not knowing who the baby's dad is, is killing me i had actually forgot i had the one night stand and I've told the person I was dating am pregant to him what can I do now?a part of me is saying have a abortion and move on but am just worried incase it is actually the persons I was dating, i don't really want to be bringing a child into the world not knowing there father and it being a one night stand also the number two man took advantage of me and I really don't want to have to remember that as I already feel awful about what has happened, Ive done the calculators when you conceive to see what it was and apparently it was the 6th of May but I never had sex with the number two man until the 7th of May at 5am because it wasn't until midnight Friday on the 6th we had met but now it's saying I conceived then so it's making me think it's the guys i was dating and then when I conceived even tho we had sex the 30th April the 1st of May as sperm can still live inside you for a few days right? Thankyou everyone please don't judge. I already feel so low as it is. I think it makes me 7 weeks tomorrow from working it out

Oysterbabe Thu 09-Jun-16 18:35:09

It really could be either, there's no way to know when you ovulated. If you have it you'll need to arrange a DNA test.

Wolfiefan Thu 09-Jun-16 18:36:18

DNA test. Random strangers on the internet can't solve this for you. confused

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf Thu 09-Jun-16 18:38:02

There is no way for us to tell you. You will need a paternity test and I would also suggest an STI test as well. I don't mean that in a judgmental way, just a suggested as unprotected sex with two people means you have also slept with all of their past partners as well.

zeeboo Thu 09-Jun-16 18:38:35

Even IF you ovulate on the same day every month you still won't be able to know for sure.

DailyMailYobos Thu 09-Jun-16 18:41:29

Do you have any idea when your last period was or when your next period is due? It would make it a bit easier to work it out. if not, I would ask your GP to arrange an early dating scan. Good luck flowers

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf Thu 09-Jun-16 18:42:32

* my first day of my last peiord was the 22 nd of April 2016*

RJnomore1 Thu 09-Jun-16 18:43:38

Haven't you already posted about this and people explained a dna test is the only sure way to know?

JuliannalovesCliveBixby Thu 09-Jun-16 18:44:16

Assuming your cycle is four weeks, a rough guess would be the one night stand, as it was mid cycle. However, there's no real way to know except to have a DNA test. Sorry OP. Hope you're okay x

60sname Thu 09-Jun-16 18:45:41

Yes but people don't all ovulate at the same point in their cycle, so knowing that doesn't help when the two encounters were close together

Mumandmama Thu 09-Jun-16 18:47:03

I'm sure you've posted this before. The advice will be the same I'm afraid. Only a dna test can tell you the answer.

tigerdog Thu 09-Jun-16 18:47:39

If you have a standard 28 cycle then it is most likely to be man no 2 as typically you would ovulate around 14 days from your period. It would be quite early to ovulate 8 days into your cycle, although it can happen - if you regularly have short cycles then it is possible that it is man no 1, but from the OP and using averages, I would say chances are the second man. Of course, a DNA test would be the only way to be 100% sure.

You could also possibly ask for an early scan or blood test to see if you can infer the number of weeks you are, although this would only give you an indication.

BorisIsBack Thu 09-Jun-16 18:50:18

You've posted this on 3 other threads before this one and been told pretty much the same thing each time. Our answers won't change. Sorry op.

Marilynsbigsister Thu 09-Jun-16 21:16:42

So, you have taken absolutely no responsibility for your own fertility ? I can't believe that people do this. !! It's a life, ffs....and I aim this comment at the men you have slept with, with equal disbelief. Is the creation of a child not worth at least a discussion about wether they are wanted or not ?

In answer to your question, impossible to say. Not the best start.
DNA is the only way but that's only once baby is born. How many weeks are you ?
Are either father remotely interested in being a parent. ?
Perhaps in future, sorting out some contraception might be a good idea if you are prone to drinking so much that you have sex with random men.

LynseyH5 Thu 09-Jun-16 23:03:17

Can't help but think some of these comments are a little harsh. Put aside the circumstances and there is a terrified lady who is asking for help. Yes the advice may be the same but a little support wouldn't go amiss either.

Op I hope this works out well in the end and try to stay safe (in all senses of the word) flowers

Arfarfanarf Thu 09-Jun-16 23:05:22

I understand your desperation to feel like you can work this out but you cant. The only way to tell is a dna test as already said.

HelenF35 Thu 09-Jun-16 23:13:18

Timeline wise it is probably more likely to be the one night stands but it could be either mans as ovulation dates can vary hugely. You need to be honest with your partner and arrange a dab when the baby is born I'm afraid. It's a horrible situation to be and I feel for you.

PurpleDaisies Thu 09-Jun-16 23:14:34

Sorry op you're going to get the same answers on this thread as all your others. No one can tell you. You'll need a DNA test when the baby is born.

LilySnape Thu 09-Jun-16 23:19:02

Id say 6th of may as you dont ovulate right after a period ime are you sure it was a period and not spotting ? Its a bit soon after a period to be getting pregnant it usually takes 2weeks after to ovulate

sykadelic Fri 10-Jun-16 02:51:59

Period 22nd April
22nd April + 14 days = May 6th (average ovulation 14 days after period start but can vary from person to person)
Eggs are good for around 24-48 hours.

Man 1 = Sex May 30th - May 1st
Man 2 = Sex May 6 - 7th

Sperm lives approx 5 days MAX

It is possible that sperm from Man 1 was still alive on May 6 (if that's when you ovulated).
It's also possible that your egg was there and waiting when you had sex with Man 2.

It's possible to have a DNA test before the baby is born (at least in the USA), it's a simple blood draw and no risk to the baby: www.prenatalgeneticscenter.com/services/prenatal-dna-paternity-test/

There's no way to know for sure without a DNA test. I'm leaning towards Man 2 over Man 1 but I don't know your cycles.

sykadelic Fri 10-Jun-16 02:54:56

p.s. You owe it to your child, and their father, to know for sure. It's not a comfortable discussion for sure but sometimes life isn't easy.

You also owe it to yourself and your unborn child to get tested for STI's.

Pinkheart5915 Fri 10-Jun-16 02:55:51

You'll need a Dna test to find out who the dad is, better to be upfront with the 2 men now and explain

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