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currently have 14month old and just found out I'm pregnant

(47 Posts)
toomanylols Wed 08-Jun-16 09:10:23

So I'm about 5 weeks pregnant... My 14month old dd is quite the handful. This wasn't planned. How will I cope?

jayner182 Wed 08-Jun-16 09:16:10

Hi sorry no advise here just wanted to say I'm in the same boat but 12 weeks pregnant and my 14 month old is a handful too.

You will cope though!

Congratulations. grin

leeds84 Wed 08-Jun-16 09:18:07

I posted exactly the same when I found out I was pregnant, with a 12 month old. There'll be, just 21 months difference. I'm due any day now. confused

I got lots of people posting positive stories and it made me feel a lot better. Loads of people have done it before us. I figure it's going to be tough, but it won't be tough forever, and soon they'll have a companion to play with which will make your life easier eventually (hopefully).

I definitely feel less panicky than I did at first.

TresDesolee Wed 08-Jun-16 09:22:50

Congratulations!

I read your OP and thought 'Christ' and then I realised I got pregnant with DS2 when Ds1 was 14m.

Get ready for a wild ride. Sleep as much as possible in the next few months. Make all the food in the world and freeze it. Get your DH/DP onside if he isn't already because you're both about to be more knackered and strung out than you've ever been in your lives. Think about getting your DD1 into some childcare/nursery (settle her in before baby arrives) to give yourself the chance of a break. If anything's broken in the house, fix in now because you'll have no time for DIY (but only buy cheap stuff because it will probably get trashed). Think about getting a sling for the baby to leave your arms free.

Best thing I ever did - I look back on the preschool years with real affection - but by fuck it's knackering.

Good luck!

Salene Wed 08-Jun-16 09:23:30

I'm now 32 weeks pregnant and my son is 20 months

I'm terrified at the thought of 2 under twos but I know I will manage

You have no choice but to manage

Life will just be stressful for the next couple of years I imagine 🙈

Annarose2014 Wed 08-Jun-16 09:25:05

6 months pregnant with a 18 month old here!

I spend a lot of time not thinking about how hard it'll be lol.

I have to say I feel much more positive now than I did at the start! It helps that #2 is kicking away constantly so it's become a real baby to me now.

Everyone says there are a lot of advantages. They will be close and will have a lot of the same friends and activities. Also I'm still knee deep in nappies so am still in the "zone". And no need to buy anything at all really.

That said, I'm starting nursery with #1 before the birth so I get a breather/newborn time. You have to be practical.

PatriciaHolm Wed 08-Jun-16 09:29:32

We have an 18 month gap; DD was 9 months when I was in your shoes!

It'll be fine. Well, it'll be hard work, but it'll be fine. Your eldest will be almost 2 - hopefully sleeping and eating well, and old enough to enjoy a bit of CBeebies when necessary ;-)

Racheyg Wed 08-Jun-16 09:38:05

I have the same age gap. Ds1 is nearly 3 and ds2 is 1 year. Its interesting grin

Oh has confirmed that no more children. I think he finds it challenging

Congratulations op

wobblywonderwoman Wed 08-Jun-16 09:43:57

I had my second when my first was 14months . Planned . hard but lived to tell the tale

toomanylols Wed 08-Jun-16 09:46:15

Thanks everyone! I can do this. We will survive to tell the tale smile can I ask, do you think I will need a double buggy?

wobblywonderwoman Wed 08-Jun-16 09:49:52

Yes you need a double buggy. I have a Phil and teds. Mine are one and two now and I used it every day. It's not that the two year cannot walk but he is safer in he buggy crossing roads etc
congratulations

ATailofTwoKitties Wed 08-Jun-16 09:50:01

There's a 14-month gap between me and one of my brothers, but I suspect that might actually be easier!

leeds84 Wed 08-Jun-16 09:51:04

I'm going to try and get round by using a sling, and buggy board with seat. Not sure if that's madness. A friend who has a bigger age gap said I would definitely want a double, so I. I get be doing the wrong thing. I think the thing that put me off was the shop assistant saying a double (tandem as I didn't want side by side) would only last a few months because of the weight restrictions.

I wonder at what point having 2 under 2 gets easier? I'm estimating 2 years of 'trying' times.

NickyEds Wed 08-Jun-16 09:57:28

I have an 19 month gap. You will manage just fine. Better than you can even imagine now. Congratulations!

helenlove Wed 08-Jun-16 10:02:41

I have a 22month gap and have found buggy board and single or baby in sling and toddler in buggy combo worked for us. Although a double might be useful now as she is getting so heavy to carry.

The age gap was fine (am only 8 months in) but I have to keep reminding myself that my toddler is only 2 as he looks so big in comparison to the baby!

Pollyputhtekettleon Wed 08-Jun-16 10:03:12

I have 19mths between my first two and 15mths between my second two. There are hard moments splattered throughout each day but close together is also lovely. You will cope. You would cope even if it was quads!

NickyEds Wed 08-Jun-16 10:04:08

Oh and yes you will need a double. We got our Phil and Teds off e bay for £80 and have used it every day for 11 months since dd was born. Unless your oldest never needs to nap whilst you are out and can walk everywhere you need to go then you need one. I wouldn't want a tandem though because I use public transport.

For me things were easy ish for the first 2-3 months, then very hard for 3 months, then dd could eat and crawl and things got easier again! Now they're 2.6years and 11 months and we have good days and bad days. On good days I feel like this is a doddle....on bad days I drink wine in the evening wink. There are more good days than bad by some margin.

thrillhouse Wed 08-Jun-16 10:09:01

Solidarity fist bump. I have a 12 month old and I'm about 5 weeks pregnant (I think...).

Personally I don't know how the fuck I'll cope but I am trying to cling onto hope that it'll be ok!

I carry DD in a sling now so I'm going to buy a cheap stroller for getting about I think. We do have a buggy I bought before she was born that is suitable from birth but it's a bit cumbersome. My plan is to carry the little in a sling and then put DD in the stroller but that may not work... Obv when DH is there we can carry one each. If DD really kicks off I might have to learn to tandem carry grin

Pollyputhtekettleon Wed 08-Jun-16 10:15:37

I can promise you that when they both want/need carrying but you can't you will just say no, weather the tears, and move on. Nothing to be afraid of. Kids are as flexible as their parents make them be.

DorotheaHomeAlone Wed 08-Jun-16 10:21:12

I'm right in the trenches of this right now with a 22m old and a 6 week old. It is very, very tough right now I won't lie but I've been told by a lot of people that it gets much easier by 6m and will be worth it in the long run.

My tips from this point, and the only reasons I'm still holding onto my sanity, are:

- Get your oh to take as much leave as he can. Mine is off on shared parental for 2 months, paid thank god.

- Keep your eldest in childcare for at least a couple of days a week if possible. We were planning to pull her out because of the cost but settled on a day a week cm and a day with my mum. Vital.

- don't be afraid to ask for help/admit when you're struggling. I'm on holiday with my family now and have explained how hard I'm finding it (unlike me to admit this). They're all pitching in and it's such a relief.

- be kind and forgiving to yourself and oh. It's hard enough without berating yourself if you do slip up and if your partner is doing their best it's wise to overlook their failings/occasional grumpiness too.

-throw money at a cleaner if you can/let standards slip if not. Housework is not a priority, sleep is.

- constantly remind yourself that this is short term and will pass before you know it, good and bad.

-remember to snuggle your newborn when eldest not looking. They really are precious and will be giant like their sibling soon enough.

DorotheaHomeAlone Wed 08-Jun-16 10:23:41

On the buggy front in another opting for sling and buggy combo. We have a bjcm which works for both if needed and will buy a buggy board when baby gets heavier and alternate them. I couldn't face a double.

PalePolkaDot Wed 08-Jun-16 10:27:24

I had a 20 month gap and loved our double buggy. Was so useful to be able to strap both in and Know where they were sometimes, plus useful for bigger basket, as a napping facility and for changing them.

The close gap was very very hard graft but my goodness, so much fun too. Their relationship and friendship is fantastic too as they've shared every experience.

MyBreadIsEggy Wed 08-Jun-16 10:30:38

I have a crazy 13 months old, and am 18 weeks pregnant with number 2!
I had the same thoughts at first, and sometimes when I have a difficult day with DD, I kind of dread having another baby to deal with....but then I remember the yummy newborn stage and it's all fine grin

bomfunk Wed 08-Jun-16 10:40:45

14 months between my eldest two - I actually found it okay! Being organised was key - pjs laid out in the morning ready for the night, batch cooking etcetc. There were a few difficulties, but in the main, much easier as they are the best of friends (when they're not being each other's worst enemies grin)I to the same sorts of things. The hardest bit for me was when they started half days at school nursery - they did opposing hours, so x4 school runs per day (whilst heavily pregnant, and subsequently with a newborn...but that's another story...!)

bomfunk Wed 08-Jun-16 10:44:21

And yy to suggestion of sling / buggy combo, then backpack style carrier and push along bike thingie when the smaller one gets a bit bigger, but a double buggy was a must at times. On the plus side, I got really slim from all the carrying / running around grin

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