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Struggling with pregnancy news

(3 Posts)
MonkeyPurpleDishwasher Sun 29-May-16 09:27:35

Recent NC, have been kicking around a while.

I found out a few days ago that I'm pregnant. I already have a child who is 12 months.

We were planning on TTC a second child within the next year but this has come as such a shock. DC1 is breastfed and my periods haven't come back yet. Obviously I knew there was a risk of pregnancy but stupidly didn't expect it to happen now.

It feels so surreal. I had a fairly straightforward pregnancy first time round but still found it tough to cope sometimes. My labour with DC1 was 3.5 days long, I hated being in the postnatal ward afterwards, I had an episiotomy and an infection... And I just keep replaying it all in my mind and thinking I can't do it again.

But I will have to because I don't want an abortion. And I'm sure I do want this baby on some level, but right now every time I think about it I just feel sick and scared.

I've told a couple of people in RL but I just needed to get this out because I'm not sure people will understand exactly how I'm feeling. DH is in shock as well I think but keeps saying we'll cope, we'll manage. And I know we will, but I am scared as to how sad

earthmoon Sun 29-May-16 15:53:31

flowersflowersflowers Sorry to hear about your struggles. Have you had a debrief about your last labour? If not, I would advice you to request one. Talking about what happened in labour with professionals provides clarity for a lot of people.

You can discuss your feelings surrounding your last birth with a midwife, I started to talk about my last birth during the booking appointment. Talking with her provided me with of reassurance. She also gave me lots of information on diffrent things she could arrange for me to help ease my worries. Like making an appointment with a supervisor of midwifes who is very experienced in childbirth to talk about my options with and write a very personalised birth plan with. I like that options, but I don't want to write one yet (I'm only 20weeks) so I don't want an appointment yet. Meanwhile, she referred me to talking therapy, I'm currently attending group sessions but will see someone one to one when my name reaches the top of waiting list.

You can also contact or read up birth trama association, sorry I don't know how to link but you can copy and paste it.
www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk

AprilSkies44 Sun 29-May-16 15:59:25

hi
if you want to continue with this pregnancy its worth remembering that often labour is so very different from one baby to the next.

i had a hospital birth first then a home birth which was such a different experience id like that again.

im 9 weeks. my two older children are adults. im 44 and yes - it was a shock. i had come off the pill but just didnt think it would happen. it did. fast.

it still feels unreal for me. and im scared. not of having the baby but ive had some really negative comments (age related) and of course i know there are more risks associated with being older. im trying to negate them as best i can.

remember - you have plenty of time to get used to the idea.....
take care and yes - talk it through. put the last birth to bed and know this one will be different. they all are.
x

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