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Im very scared

(24 Posts)
wonder14 Sat 23-Apr-16 21:58:26

Hi,

I have just found out I am pregnant after four miscarriages. I am really lucky to have one daughter but haven't been able to conceive since I had her. I am recently married and this is my partners first child.

I am just so scared, ever twinge I get I am worried that this is the start of a miscarriage. I have an early term scan in two week, I hope this will give me some reassurance.

I am just terrified, is this normal? I just don't feel any excitement.

neolara Sat 23-Apr-16 22:04:55

Completely normal. I'm sorry. It's rubbish. I had 4 mcs and got to the point where I hated being pregnant. I had about 7 years when my emotional default position was massive anxiety interspersed with longish periods of grief. Not good.

On the plus side, I now have 3 fabulous dcs so in retrospect it was worth the pain.

Really hope it works out for you. Best of luck with it all.

samk15 Sat 23-Apr-16 22:41:50

Wonder we can hold each other's hand. I had 2 consecutive mmcs last year and I have just found out I am pregnant ( very early on). I am really trying not to think about it. I don't have any advice but just to let you know you are not on your own xx

wonder14 Sat 23-Apr-16 22:54:00

Its really scary. My doctor has been really supportive as is my husband of course! but every twinge scares me..... my body has started responding already, especially my chest!! I am about 6 weeks, hoping to feel better after my 8 week scan.

I'm definitely up for some hand holding

xx

Liss85 Sat 23-Apr-16 22:58:05

Totally normal, I would imagine. I'm high risk and have several conditions with miscarriage as symptoms so I was terrified for ages even though I gavent had a miscarriage and all has run smoothly. I can only begin to imagine what you must feel. I wish you the best of luck.

samk15 Sun 24-Apr-16 04:43:37

It's terrifying. I think I'll be worse around the 6-9 week time as that's when I've lost them before. If I think about it too much I'd be in tears every day.

Have you had all the relevant tests to rule out of hormonal/genetic problems etc?

We CAN do this!! I know I sound like a hippy because I am but I'm doing some positive thinking meditations. Its the only way I'm gonna get through this. There is a book called The Secret which is fabulous for getting you in the right headspace.

All of that being said I think we are going to panic no matter what. My sister said to me just take small steps, one day at a time although I haven't googled the star sign of my baby already grin

Massive hugs xx

samk15 Sun 24-Apr-16 04:44:20

It's terrifying. I think I'll be worse around the 6-9 week time as that's when I've lost them before. If I think about it too much I'd be in tears every day.

Have you had all the relevant tests to rule out of hormonal/genetic problems etc?

We CAN do this!! I know I sound like a hippy because I am but I'm doing some positive thinking meditations. Its the only way I'm gonna get through this. There is a book called The Secret which is fabulous for getting you in the right headspace.

All of that being said I think we are going to panic no matter what. My sister said to me just take small steps, one day at a time although I haven't googled the star sign of my baby already grin

Massive hugs xx

Blue2014 Sun 24-Apr-16 19:39:47

Have you checked out the thread for pregnancy after miscarriage? It might help to have ongoing support? (Im currently first time preg after IVF so almost understand the anxiety)

wonder14 Sun 24-Apr-16 21:39:03

No I haven't but thank you for the advice.

xx

wonder14 Sun 24-Apr-16 21:43:01

Thank You Samk15.

Yeah I have had a whole host of test, this is nothing medically causing me to miscarriage. It normally occurs around the 8 weeks make so I am two weeks away, I am trying the whole positive thinking thing, plus I am just really listening to my body. I could sleep for days, buts its not really practical but I do try and relax as much as possible.

Ill try and relax a bit more once my 8 week scan has been done.

xxxx

daisydalrymple Sun 24-Apr-16 21:46:54

Best of luck ladies, I really hope all is well. I've only had one MMC between dc 2&3, but I think it sadly takes the joy and innocence of pregnancy (or certainly first trimester) away to an extent. I hope you'll be enjoying the first scan and seeing the heartbeat very soon.

Seekingmiracles Sun 24-Apr-16 22:02:53

I know exactly how you feel. I'm now 14 weeks after 4 consecutive miscarriages. Pregnancy isn't enjoyable, it's torturous. I've had 8 scans so far and each brings momentary relief... Then I start getting anxious again.
Are you on any treatment? Have they found a reason for your miscarriages?
Thankfully I do have a reason and am on a complex treatment plan.
I wish you all the best. Try to take each day at a time. And do what you can to relax.

Seekingmiracles Sun 24-Apr-16 22:07:32

Sorry just read that you've had tests but no reason. Have you been offered progesterone? Some doctors prescribe it as a caution. And low dose aspirin? They're both prescribed quite routinely in the rmc world.

wonder14 Sun 24-Apr-16 22:14:43

Hi, No I haven't been offered any medication.

I was in a serious car accident last year and because I am pregnant they have stopped all my pain medication and nerve treatment. I've to wait a month to let it all clear my system before they will give me anything else. So I am just talking my daily folic acid and a multivitamin.

I just take a new pregnancy test every second day and try and be upbeat. I seen the cutest little outfit yesterday in next that I really wanted to buy but I didn't want to tempt fate. Ill maybe buy it once I've had my scan.

Its all so scary, I talk to my husband, but I don't want to overload him.

xxxxxx

Bails2014 Sun 24-Apr-16 22:16:00

Normal, normal, normal.

I had never been pregnant until our son but my mother had four MC, her sister had six, their mother had one. I've known this from about the age of ten or so.

I hated being pregnant, so much, I haven't kept any photos of me pregnant, I was so stressed I started grinding my teeth, I was in floods of tears in front of the Doctor, so much so she assumed it was because I didn't want to be pregnant. I hated the responsibility but at the same time I hated it being out of my hands. No one seemed to understand why I wasn't excited about it. My son arrived early and I found him being in NICU less stressful as he was in the hands of highly trained experts.

I hope everything goes well for you.

Seekingmiracles Mon 25-Apr-16 08:56:54

I think maybe you should at least ask about progesterone supplements - it's a hormone so shouldn't affect any thing else relating to your car accident. I personally think it's irresponsible given your history that you have been offered nothing. I ended up seeking private investigation as there is a lot that the NHS just don't fund.
And please stop doing the pregnancy tests, it won't change how things will turn out - only give you anxiety every other day. It's not the indicator of a healthy pregnancy as the hormones will stay in your system even if something did sadly go wrong. Mine have taken up to 3 weeks before.
be kind to yourself, try some meditations and remember that every day that passes your little one is getting stronger.

wonder14 Mon 25-Apr-16 15:39:53

Thanks for all the support ladies.

I will speak to my doctor about the progesterone supplements.

Any previous miscarriage I have had has resulted in a significant drop in my HGC levels within a few days, hence why I keep testing. I understand what you are saying about anxiety, but its actually bringing me comfort. Its only two weeks until my scan, so I am sure it won't hurt to keep testing. I will stop once I know that everything is OK so far.

Syrine Mon 25-Apr-16 17:22:51

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

samk15 Mon 25-Apr-16 19:37:07

Hi Wonder, how are you today?

I've had all the tests and they have offered me progesterone, definitely worth asking your dr about, at least then you feel like you are doing something proactive and have a bit of control so to speak. I have put myself on Asprin tbh, figured it can't do any harm.

I know exactly how you feel about buying stuff, before the first mmc I'd already chosen the pram and mentally decorated the nursery. I couldn't resist one little outfit which is now squirrelled away for when my baby does arrive.

Xxx

wonder14 Mon 25-Apr-16 19:57:02

Hi SamK,

I am well today, a little tired but OK. I am going to ask about progesterone at my first scan, see what the midwife says.

I am resisting all temptation to buy anything, plus I don't want to know what the gender is until I have gave birth so I will just be buying neutral things anyway. I have picked my pram and I have planned how I want to do my nursery but I am trying to just distract myself. My husband is home from work tomorrow so I am sure he will help, he works away two weeks at a time, which can be difficult.

Anyway, I hope you had a nice day!!

xx

samk15 Mon 25-Apr-16 21:03:51

It's amazing how tired pregnancy makes you feel isn't it!!? It's like they are sucking the life out if you already grin hehe

Glad you are ok, that must be really difficult if your husband works away. Bet it's nice looking forward to him coming home though.

I'm sooo impatient I'm going to have to find out the sex (hope to god I get that far). I can't even allow myself to think about it really.

Have you got many symptoms? Xx

samk15 Mon 25-Apr-16 21:04:09

It's amazing how tired pregnancy makes you feel isn't it!!? It's like they are sucking the life out if you already grin hehe

Glad you are ok, that must be really difficult if your husband works away. Bet it's nice looking forward to him coming home though.

I'm sooo impatient I'm going to have to find out the sex (hope to god I get that far). I can't even allow myself to think about it really.

Have you got many symptoms? Xx

samk15 Mon 25-Apr-16 21:05:38

So sorry for the double post. Mn tells me there was a problem posting then posts it anyway confused

wonder14 Mon 25-Apr-16 21:15:14

Hi SamK,

I am really tired, going to the toilet a lot and my chest has increased in size. All positive signs I am told. It's just kinda scary. I am so looking forward to having my husband back, just so he can tell me that everything will be OK.

I have all my fingers crossed for you!!

xx

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