anxiety in first trimester

[babymaybe562]

Hi, I've posted on Mumsnet before (but nc'd for this). I'm about 7 weeks pregnant with my second child. This time round I am really anxious, stressed and emotional.

The stakes are a bit higher this time (thought I might not be able to get pregnant this time round whereas first time it all happened really quickly and easily). Most evenings I feel anxious and convinced I'm going to lose the baby. I've been hanging onto the fact that I am really suffering with morning sickness (or all day sickness) as a sign that all is well. However today a friend told me that her friend just lost a baby at around 7-8 weeks and had no idea that anything was wrong as she'd felt all the symptoms as usual.

My anxiety is in overdrive. I can't relax,cant get excited, and I feel like I am wishing away each day which is unfair really as I have a lovely DC already and I want to enjoy her as much as possible.

Just wondered if anyone had any tips for dealing with first trimester worries? I can't switch off and feel tearful a lot of the time. Anyone else feel the same way?

[covertblackberry]

Hi OP, firstly congratulations on your pregnancy!
I was the same as this, I'm nearly 16 weeks now but when I found out I was pregnant I had about a day of feeling happy and the anxiety took over. I couldnt stop worrying that something was going to go wrong. I ordered Maggie Howells pregnancy relaxation track and started listening to it every night in bed and now it sends me straight off to sleep. It's full of really positive stuff and I highly recommend it. In fact I can send it to you as a download if you like, just pm me an email address. I started to feel calmer pretty much immediately after listening to it. I still have the odd wobble but I think that's to be expected.

[babymaybe562]

Hi. Thank you! I will PM you about the relaxation track. Sounds really interesting. Even if I could feel a bit less anxious that would be better than how I feel now

[bippitybopityboo]

Hi OP I think early pregnancy anxiety is totally normal. It was over Christmas time that I was around 9 to 11 weeks and I was just a total wreck and couldn't let myself be happy! An early private scan would have helped me massively however all the places I called were booked up untill after their Xmas closing period which took me through to my 12 weeks scan anyway so I just left it and worried.
I was under the impression if you have a miscarridge you bleed and have pain and you know about it untill I joined MN and read about missed miscarridge too. It's very scary I know.
If I was you I'd book an early private scan if you possibly can it may give you a little reassurance untill your 12 week scan?
Congratulations OP you are totally normal in your anxiety and worry! Hope all goes well for you!

[Helbelle75]

Congratulations! I'm exactly the same. I'm 40 and expected things to take a while. This is our first pregnancy and we've only been ttc since January, so this all seems almost too good to be true.
I don't have any sickness at all, although lots of other symptoms, so it doesn't seem quite real yet. I'm seeing the midwife on Thursday, so I hope it reassures me. At the moment, I'm randomly feeling my boobs to make sure they're still sore!

[LilyTP]

Oh big hugs to all of you - I felt exactly the same for my first trimester.

babymaybe I am certain what you are feeling is 100% to be expected, in that I felt the exact same, and still feel a bit worried about getting too excited (I'm 16.5 weeks).
covert that pregnancy track sounds like a great idea - I will look into that (do you think it's still relevant to someone who's 16 weeks+ ?).

Helbelle I feel the same as you, I'm in my late 30s and this is my first, I'd expected it to take (at least) months to conceive - it just felt too good to be true that it was as straight-forward as it was (somehow being easy made it feel like it was transient and would be just as easy to lose).

I felt reassured by having the first scan (12 weeks). And now I'm counting the days to my next midwife appointment (next week, where I hope they'll be able to confirm the heartbeat is still going strong) and my next scan (first week of June as my borough offer a 22 week, rather than 20 week scan).

I also considered having reassurance scans before 12 weeks and between then and now, but I know the way my brain works - a reassurance scan would be reassuring for a couple of days, and then I'd manage to convince myself it'd all gone wrong and need to scan again - and if there's one thing I've learned in an adulthood of mild-moderate anxiety; it's not to feed the beast.

Try to relax, and remember that a majority of pregnancies complete with a baby. Try to keep in mind that it may feel like loads of people are having missed miscarriages, but really it's just that lots of people who do experience it, reach out online for support (as they should, and I'm so glad they can). And try also to remember that nothing we do now will change anything that happens next.

Fingers-crossed for all of us to have happy, healthy, full pregnancies - and lovely bouncing babies.

[JillyCooper2015]

Agree - anxious and worried and bored, very very bored as trying to make sure I rest.

Missing a lot of my pre-pregnant life, hate not being honest with my friends so hibernating.

Had a lot of arguments with my partner which we are still healing from and want my first trimester to JUST HURRY UP !!!!

[babymaybe562]

Finding all your replies reassuring, thank you had considered an early scan but like you LilyTP I know how my brain works and I would worry even after I'd had one. Same reason why I wouldn't buy a Doppler. I think I'd drive myself mad with it. Plus we can't really afford a private scan right now.

Still feeling very very (very!) sick. Fingers crossed that all is well with all our pregnancies xx

[ThinkPinkStink]

Sorry I missed your response babymaybe how are you feeling now?

Can you image having a home doppler kit? I'd have it permanently attached - I'm just telling myself, that it'll be okay, that every day it's more likely to be okay and that there's nothing I can do differently to make any difference to how it turns out.

I have my fingers crossed for you! xx

[lia666]

Maybe u could try a fetal dopler, if u are 7 weeks you should be able to hear babies heartbeat, I use mine almost every night, just for a few seconds but reassures me that of there's a heartbeat then all is well, u can get them on amazon, not very expensive but I would still be panicking so much if I didn't, I'm 7+ 2 and love it