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Pregnancy

No interest in sex

13 replies

Luckystar1 · 12/04/2016 07:16

Is anyone else in the same boat?? I'm 6 months pregnant and have literally zero interest in sex, to the point that I'm almost repulsed at the thought of it.

I had this with my last pregnancy and while breastfeeding too. Unfortunately (in this respect) I got pregnant while breastfeeding so in the last 2 plus years it has been this horrible cycle of hating sex.

Can anyone give me any advice please?

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MyBreadIsEggy · 12/04/2016 07:21

Me too, even being cuddled at the moment isn't enjoyable....but that's probably because I'm still at the horrible sicky, tired stage
I remember it getting better when I was pregnant with DD after a while. I think after about the 6/7 month point I was more or less back to normal....my waters actually broke immediately after rather enthusiastic sex at 38 weeks

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Jenjen85 · 12/04/2016 07:31

I wrote a very similar post myself. I'm 20wks and have has sex twice. I feel bad for my DH but I was the same in my last pregnancy too.

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princesspineapple · 12/04/2016 07:32

We didn't have sex at all after about 20 weeks! As soon as DP could feel baby kick that was it.. We were both a bit weird about it so just stuck to cuddling.
I'm looking forward to getting back to normal once my stitches have healed though!

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Luckystar1 · 12/04/2016 08:12

Ok thank you that's good to hear I'm not alone!

How have you raised it with your husbands? I want to let him know it's genuinely not him, it's me!!!

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MyBreadIsEggy · 12/04/2016 08:16

Lucky I'm quite lucky at the moment because DH is mega busy at work, and is so tired when he comes home, that we are both in bed, asleep by 9pm so I don't think sexnis really on his radar at the moment either

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Luckystar1 · 12/04/2016 08:43

Yes we have that too!! DH is so busy but I feel like the longer we leave it the bigger an issue it becomes. We had a chat last night and I think he feels like I'm always pushing him away.

I feel awful as we had a MMC before DS was conceived and I was obsessed after that and sex became almost a chore. It was a relief when DS was conceived!!

It's so weird as I almost feel angry when DH tries to be intimate. But angry in a 'urgh get off me' way, that wasn't there before he starts and disappears as soon as we stop!!

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Dollface136 · 12/04/2016 09:32

Totally feel you Luckystar1. I am really conscious of not wanting to seem like I am pushing DH away though as am only 4 months, and know there is a lot further to go. I have made myself have sex a couple of times during the last month. Thankfully DH didn't even try during the 1st trimester as I was so sick and nervous about the pregnancy I think he just got it that I wouldn't want to. TMI but I try to do things for him that don't require me being touched much if you see what I mean. It has helped with closeness and him feeling wanted for sure. Maybe an option? I find it is more that I don't want to be touched intimately than being repulsed by the idea of touching him, not sure if that rings true for you too?

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MyBreadIsEggy · 12/04/2016 09:46

DollFace that works for us too. Was especially helpful last time. About 7/8 weeks after DD was born, we were feeling a bit more, let's say "amorous", but I wasn't totally healed downstairs yet.
Whatever works for both parties....I know people say sex isn't the be all and end all of a marriage, but it is an important part of it! Damn pregnancy hormones messing with everyone's mojo!!

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MeDownSouth · 12/04/2016 10:48

raises hand yup totally me too. I think OH was looking forward to the raging hormones, get here quick stage after the constant nausea but it hasn't happened here.
we had sex at the weekend and I was quite uncomfortable (and a bit sore) afterwards so I'm not sure I want to do it again soon. He's been very understanding but he seemed quite relieved I hadn't gone off him! :)

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Cantwait4summer · 12/04/2016 11:03

With my previous 2 pregnancies I wasnt up for it due to i felt my ex was repulsed with the idea of doing it throughout pregnancy so he put me off but with my 3rd pregnancy I didn't have sex till 2nd trimester probably because it was with my new partner I was up to it .and When I wasn't in mood he was very understanding
Hormones can play havoc on yr body.
Don't worry about it .just go with the flow after all its your body x

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Indiana77 · 12/04/2016 11:10

Yep, same here. Even snogging feels unpleasant. Poor hubby. I keep turning away every time he tries to kiss me. And I actually really fancy him. For me it is the nausea....But I also feel super self conscious because my body feels so different and I already gained weight even though it's really early on. I hope I get back to normal soon. I miss feeling close to my man. :(

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Dollface136 · 12/04/2016 12:07

I know it sounds cheesy but we also sometimes just give each other a shoulder massage. Even just that physical contact helps us feel close. I think it is about finding ways to be intimate that work for you at that particular time in your pregnancy. And my midwife definitely keeps reminding me "it's not forever" so I don't feel like punishing myself mentally over my lack of desire so much. The baby books definitely don't help with all their "you should be feeling amorous in your 2nd trimester" chat.

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Luckystar1 · 12/04/2016 13:23

Thank you ! That is actually a brilliant suggestion. It's absolutely not to do with touching him, you're right! I will definitely try that thank you!

Phew I'm so relieved it's not just me! I feel so terrible as it has been in such quick succession that we really haven't had any time since DS conception that I've been actually 'normal'.

He's so good and puts no pressure on me, but it's a big deal to me!!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news to those who are pregnant, but breastfeeding can do the same thing (ie completely smother libido). I didn't have any real urge for sex until my one (and only) period post partum....