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Feeling sad that I'm nearing the end of pregnant

(13 Posts)
HarrysMummy17 Sat 26-Mar-16 22:19:48

I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant and I'm starting to get sad that my pregnancy will be ending soon.
I know I'll have a baby at the end but I'm enjoying (mostly) being pregnant!

My first ds was born at 32 weeks and I really struggled afterwards that I wasn't pregnant anymore. I wasn't ready to give birth and I remember standing in the shower crying over my bump being gone.
I guess if was different last time as ds was in ncu so I had no bump and no baby at home either.

Does this sound kind of normal? Or am I just talking crazy??

mineofuselessinformation Sat 26-Mar-16 22:35:28

Nope - being pregnant and growing a baby is like nothing else.
But, having a whole new life to look after is another chapter in that adventure....

artisanroast Sat 26-Mar-16 22:41:29

I can understand that. My daughter was early too. I remember feeling cheated in some way that I had missed the end. I didn't ever get a big bump or see the feet poke out of my stomach (despite watching every night). I almost mourned missing that last bit. I adore my daughter and had an easy pregnancy and easy labour however if I had the option, I would have wanted her to grow to her optimum size inside me, not fighting in the outside world. We were in for a week and most of that was spent under the UV light.

I do understand but try to enjoy this last bit of your pregnancy. Watch and feel your beautiful bump and try to enjoy it as much as possible.

Igottastartthinkingbee Sat 26-Mar-16 22:46:20

I felt much the same as you did OP. My ds was a 31 weeker with 5 weeks in NICU. Just be proud that you've got this far and all is healthy and pleased that you're enjoying it Good luck with the rest of you're pregnancy.

HarrysMummy17 Sat 26-Mar-16 22:46:58

Thank you for replying.

Artisan that is exactly how I felt the first time round.
Barely a bump, hardly felt him move.
No chance of nesting and curling up on the sofa during maternity leave with my bump.

My labour was fast and ds was born within 30 minutes. He was then in hospital for 4 weeks.

I'm nervous about having this one early too and that's not helping! If I knew I had 7 weeks left I might enjoy it a bit more than worry that every twinge could be labour!

Chocolatteaddict1 Sat 26-Mar-16 22:49:55

Oh god I couldn't wait for dd to be out! I was like a whale and my back was that fucked I had to walk along the wall for support. Had to have physio

I'm eight weeks pregnant now and shitting myself tbusad

VocationalGoat Sat 26-Mar-16 23:00:48

It's very normal. I always find it takes me a few months post-partum to stop envying other bumps. It's weird.
Then I go through this phase where as my infant becomes a tot, I get sling envy. I never can sling my kids beyond 8 months. They're all very heavy and I'm slight. So when I am walking along with a wobbly 13 month old say, and I see a mum with a bundle all nestled up in a sling against her chest, I get pangs of envy. That phase passes too.

I won't be having more kids. I am too old now. That was a whole other bereavement, saying goodbye to fertile me with years of child-bearing ahead. That was tougher than I imagined. But my youngest is nearly 2 and I can finally look at other pregnant mothers and newborn babies and think, "Phew. I'm done. And I'm ok with that."

It takes time. I think motherhood is so life enriching and life transforming. Pregnancy is really a woman at her zenith.
So naturally we mourn its passing, especially when pregnant with our last child.

Strokethefurrywall Sat 26-Mar-16 23:05:39

Nope NU at all - I really missed being pregnant too, I sailed through my first and when he was newborn and snuggled up against me, his little foot kicked against my stomach. Took my breath away because I realised I wouldn't feel him kick from the inside again.

I didn't enjoy being pregnant with ds2 as much but his kicks made me feel nauseous but even whilst waiting impatiently for him to arrive I knew I'd miss it once it was over.

HarrysMummy17 Sat 26-Mar-16 23:12:32

I'm glad it's not just me!

Vocationalgoat it's in the back of my mind that this could be the last one. Dp says our family will be complete with 2. I'm not sure. I don't know how I feel knowing ill never be pregnant again.

I've often thought of offering to be a surrogate for a dear friend that can't carry a child but I don't think I could give up the child at the end! confused

artisanroast Sat 26-Mar-16 23:12:53

HarrysMummy that sounds really traumatic.

I think you focus on having that time to nest and you feel in a bit of a tailspin that the baby its taken away. It must have been especially difficult having him in hospital for 4 weeks. My daughter and I were only in for a week and I found that incredibly challenging. I just wanted to be home so we could start to be a family.

Don't underestimate how traumatic your first experience of birth was. Try to take time every night for half an hour to enjoy this pregnancy. Whether its massaging your bump or talking to your baby so you can start to build a positive memory bank of experiences.

I think I read that the risk of your next baby being prem is 25%. Its higher than non-prem mothers but there is still a good chance you will go to term. Enjoy every day you have being pregnant and if your little person is early you have an idea what to expect.

I remember feeling totally unprepared and feeling I had to 'cope' and manage to get us home. We had difficulty feeding so I was sitting pumping day and night. The first night I got home I cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom at 3am including inside the fridge because I felt so guilty that my daughter didn't have a clean house to come home to.

Its hard, so don't feel guilty.

I understand people can find the end of their pregnancy difficult but if it has been robbed from you, you would give anything to experience the weight and pain that goes with the last weeks of pregnancy. It is much easier than sitting worrying about the health of a premature baby that can't feed properly.

Big higs OP

HarrysMummy17 Sat 26-Mar-16 23:37:35

Thank you for taking the time to write Artisan.

It's comforting to know it's not just me!
I didn't stay in the hospital with ds. I discharged myself after one night but then visited daily. I couldn't sleep at the hospital.
I'd just moved house a week previous to giving birth. 300 miles from family for Dp's work so we were still living out if boxes and trying to decorate.

I couldn't let ds come home to that do between hospital visits, expressing milk and trying to sleep I was trying to make the house our home.

We would have been gone quicker but ds struggled to breastfeed so we/he was kept in until it was established.

I'm so nervous that if this baby goes to term I won't have a clue what to do! My hospital bag had been packed for weeks as last time ds was born at home and I didn't have time to sort a bag! The paramedics arrived just after he was born (I had to deliver him myself as it was just me and the cat!) and I was bundled into the ambulance with nothing apart from a nighty and some trainers!

It's all going to be so different this time. The experience of labour in hospital, taking a newborn home and not a 4 week old that was in an established routine thanks to the tubs feeds from the hospital!

So many emotions going on right now!!

artisanroast Sun 27-Mar-16 17:11:22

Hi HarrysMummy,

sorry for the delay in reply. Its been a very busy day as we are away to Ireland on holiday tomorrow.

I can't quite believe your first birth experience. It sounds truly traumatic in a new place and totally isolated from your family and friends.

Overall I think you coped with the whole thing remarkably well. I don't think we really appreciate how difficult becoming a Mum is, even when its a straight forward labour.

I was really lucky, I had a friend who was a midwife and said to have my bag packed at 34 weeks. I had literally just finished packing my hospital bag and sat down for a rest when my waters broke.

It sounds like you were under tremendous stress between having a little baby in hospital, expressing (which as I know is really difficult) and trying to sort your house for this new person joining you.

I love that the cat was there for your labour. I have 2 cats myself smile

No wonder your emotions are everywhere at the moment. Try to imagine this little baby your carrying will go to term. You will probably have the birth experience this time that you wanted last time.

Whatever happens though these next few weeks will stir up emotions from your previous birthing experience.

I was very very lucky that although my daughter was 4 weeks early (and I drove myself to hospital) it was very straight forward. It was 6 hours from waters breaking to my daughter arriving. I had an epidural for the last 2 hours and she was born by ventouse.

I don't think I realised what was going on as it happened, it was only the next day I realised what had happened.

Try to cherish every day of your pregnancy. Its a wonderful experience. Every kick or hiccup.

PM me when your little person is born. I'd love to find out how you get on with this baby

xx

HarrysMummy17 Mon 28-Mar-16 00:16:43

I will indeed let you know when this little man makes an appearance artisan. Hopefully not until May though!

Thank you for all of the replies. At the time it probably was traumatic but now I just see it as something to tell ds when he's older! How he couldn't wait to meet us!

Have a fab holiday!

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