So stressed and anxious - how to chill out?

[Pagetta]

So I'm 24 wks and really struggling with stress and anxiety.
Had few issues with scans. As it stands everything OK but got to have 4 weekly scans to keep an eye.
I know I'm not unusual in being convinced something is wrong with baby but these issues are making me even crazier.
We're also buying a house taking on a fat mortgage.
Which ties into work - I have full time job as a manager and a long commute. After DS1 they kept on my mat cover then made me redundant so I am very anxious that I work my arse off and make myself indispensable at this place. Am launching a huge project which I desperately want finished before I go on mat leave so I have that under my belt. I need this job for the house at least for a few yrs!
I have a three yr old DS and husband with a job that takes him away a lot.
And am trying to do a diploma so that if I end up jobless again I have a good Cv to freelance with.
I also have got SPD only mildly but been banned from running which is my usual thing to keep me sane!
I know everyone has their own stuff going on, and none of these issues are really huge, but I struggle with stress and low self esteem anyhow and this pregnancy is only serving to make things worse
Also not been intimate with DH in over a month which i hate but I feel so wretched I just can't - hating not exercising and the worry about baby is making me so stressed.
I guess I just wondered - is it normal to feel so stressed? Any relaxation tips or ways to try to get myself put this put of worry?!
Is it worth speaking to midwife or do I go to GP?
DH is trying to be supportive but also says my attitude is taking all the joy out of this pregnancy. I hate that it's affecting things with him :-(

[whiteychappers]

Anyone would be anxious with just one of those things going on, add them up and its no wonder you feel stressed. You are coping amazingly to keep all at going. I've suffered from anxiety a really long time altyhoubh came off medication to try for a baby (now 9 weeks). I told my midwife about it and she was lovely, a lot of areas have pregnancy mental health teams to help. I find guided meditation really helps. Tbh though you need to slow down a bit by the sounds of it. Talking therapies work too, unfortunately its difficult for other people to understand unless they've been through it themselves so your other half won't mean to say what he does. Big hugs and be kind to yourself, what would you say to a friend if they had all this going on? That's how I talk to myself when i get really bad, we are always harder on ourselves x

[butterflylove16]

As pp said, you really do have a lot going on, so it's no wonder you're feeling stressed and anxious. I would say to be kind to yourself - it sounds as though you put a lot of pressure on yourself. Even if it's just a little bit of time each day, try to do something nice for yourself that is totally unproductive! I think that's really important. I personally enjoy doing crafts. I have dealt with bad anxiety issues in the past and had some councelling which I hated at the time but it really did help. I learnt breathing exercises and visualisation techniques; I'm sure that you can look these up online. Also I find listening to relaxing music helps (I just go on YouTube), as well as keeping a pregnancy diary where I write down how I'm feeling, which seems to release any anxious feelings. I understand that you're super busy, but I think it's also really important to have quality time with your Dh to keep your relationship strong, it might also help him to understand how you're feeling a bit more. If you feel you need to speak to your GP or midwife about it, I'm sure they should be able to help in some way.

I don't know if any of this helps, but I hope you feel better about things soon

[Lucinda15]

For a quick fix, you could try reflexology or pregnancy massage. I have anxiety issues and I recently tried reflexology for fertility reasons, but was surprised to find it amazingly beneficial for anxiety. Just one whole hour where I can truly relax and chill out and clear my head. My reflexologist is super lovely though, and brilliant to talk to, which really helps. I have it every month (wld go more if I cld) and really feel so much better for it.

[kamillaw]

You could do some mindful meditation you can google guided ones on YouTube. Pregnancy is stressful make sure you do things that work fOr you and find the time to rest. Hard to do with full time work but maybe take something to get lost in on the commute home if you don't drive and use that as your you time? I would also second talking to the midwives as they can refer you on if things really do get too much

[Pagetta]

thanks for your tips and kind thoughts all - I am always told i put too much pressure on myself, but I don't know which parts to let slide to ease the load!
i will look into the reflexology i've never had it but heard really good things about it!

Whiteychappers that is a good tip about what would you say to a friend, i hadn't thought of it like that. I have been giving it some thought and I think i would tell her to make sure she gets some time for herself to chill out. Easier said than done, but perhaps once my first hand-in on my course is in this weekend i can get back to the gym or out walking just to do some gentle phys and try to calm a bit.

DH said he's trying to organise a weekend away for us without DS1 before DS2 arrives which is something to look forward to - just getting the timing in between my hand-in / house move / his working away ha ha! but i have asked him not to involve me and just to book it so i can just enjoy it and not stress about getting it sorted....Ill be interested to see what he comes back with!