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Sorry to moan...

(14 Posts)
Moglet85 Mon 15-Feb-16 11:42:59

Really struggling today. I'm 6 weeks pregnant with my first and feel absolutely dreadful. The nausea is constant, sometimes waking me up in the night but I am never actually sick.

I'm so tired all the time I could fall asleep anywhere, which isn't good when I have to drive a lot for my job. I am off my food so am feeling guilty that baby isn't getting the nourishment they need and I just can't keep up with work, keeping the house tidy, going to the gym (last time I had a light workout I nearly fainted) and having any kind of life.

Think I'm finding it hard because DH and I haven't told anyone I'm pregnant except our mums (not had booking in appointment yet) S at the moment I feel like I'm "skulking", sometimes I even wonder if I'm just imagining it all!

I'm excited about baby and he/she is very much wanted, think I'm just struggling to come to terms with the fact that life is changing before I've had chance to adjust to it and so far I am not enjoying being pregnant at all.

Anyone else feeling like this?

Kirjava Mon 15-Feb-16 11:47:08

I had this. I promise it does get better. By 10 weeks I was feeling human again. I told work which helped massively as I needed some days off/come in late.

whiteychappers Mon 15-Feb-16 11:51:56

Yes deffo, I'm at 9 weeks and its starting to subside. I'm still puking and nauseous but I can manage to do things. The first two weeks were sheer hell. I thought what the hell have I done to myself. I'm not crying all day and the anxiousness is at a tolerable level. Still wouldn't say I'm enjoying it but I'm tolerating it 😁

ToesAndFingersCrossed Mon 15-Feb-16 12:00:39

I promise it gets better.

Firstly, don't feel guilty about feeling too sick to eat, the baby will be taking everything it needs from you and I know plenty of people (myself included!) who lost LOTS of weight in the 1st trimester and still have healthy babies. By the time I had my 12 week scan I had lost almost a stone, but the baby was measuring 3 days bigger, so it clearly didn't mind. Try to eat whenever you can, and don't worry too much about nutritional value - anything to keep you going and make you feel better. I ate mostly yoghurt and ginger nuts of the first 12 weeks. Just make sure you take your folic acid!

Accept that you have to sleep more. I just came home from work and slept for 2 hours every day, then got up and tried to have some dinner. My DH was in charge of dinner because I barely ate anything anyway, plus I stopped caring about what was and wasn't fair by that point! The tiredness got much better at the same time as the nausea passed.

Stop going to the gym. You can start again in the 2nd trimester. You are using so much energy growing a new person, and you're barely eating and always tired! You just don't need to right now. I started running again in the 2nd trimester but could barely make it up the stairs in the first (we live in a flat so I had no choice!).

Housework can wait. Get DH involved with the most important bits, but other than that you're going to have to get used to having no time for housework once the baby comes!

I know it seems like forever away, but in about 4-6 weeks I promise you'll start feeling better and your life will go back to a much more normal version of itself. It's annoying because that's when you'll tell people and they'll be all accommodating and run around you, but you won't need it anymore!

Moglet85 Mon 15-Feb-16 12:17:43

Thank you for the kind words and support kirjava, whitey and toesandfingers, am crying with relief! Felt so guilty for feeling like this when it's supposed to be the best time of your life...

dizzylemon Mon 15-Feb-16 12:28:05

I felt the same.

32 weeks +4 now and getting real achey and feeling massive AND the nausea is revisiting on occasion - BUT at least the end is in sight smile

Runner05 Mon 15-Feb-16 12:34:11

As the others said the way you feel is perfectly normal but it will pass with the first trimester.
I've just hit 12 weeks but my morning sickness was so severe that I've been signed off work for the past 6 weeks. Planning to go back next week but even now I'm night right.
Remember, even if you're lazing around your body is hard at work and your baby is busy stealing all of the nutrients it needs from you so you are going to be wiped out most of the time.
Just rest up, eat what you can when you can (you'll feel better if you never let yourself get hungry) and tell your OH he's going to have to fend for himself for a bit while you do the far more important job of growing a tiny human! smile

Missingcaffeine Mon 15-Feb-16 12:41:16

Everyone is different and some people breeze through pregnancy enjoying every moment, whilst others have such a tough time from start to finish. Most people however are somewhere in the middle and usually the worst is over by the start of the second trimester.

I felt exactly like you in my first pregnancy. I was shocked at the impact it had on my life as I was used to being super productive, working really hard at work, cooking, keeping our house looking lovely, exercising loads etc but I just felt like I had the hangover from hell every day!

I'm pregnant with my second now, and finding it much easier - mostly because feeling terrible was not so much of a shock this time - I was prepared for it and I also knew that it wouldn't last forever and how special it is to be a mum and have a baby.

Drinking loads of fluid helps - as if I am remotely dehydrated the nausea is much worse. I force myself to drink two pints of fluid when I first wake and drink as much as I can through the day. I also make sure I eat regularly and don't worry what I'm eating - just feel happy that I've eaten something.

I have not even tried to exercise this time, as I realise it will only make me feel worse, and I can work on fitness when I start feeling better again.

I literally go to work, come home, do my toddlers bedtime and then get ready for bed myself. I've accepted life is going to be a bit dull until I start feeling better and I have not made any evening social plans for a while. It is boring, but it means I feel so much better than I would if I was trying to do everything I usually would. My partner does all of the cooking and cleaning at the moment - luckily he is very understanding. He knows I'm not lazy, I am just struggling. I don't feel guilty as he is lucky he is not having to feel this crappy and still gets a baby at the end of it!

Last pregnancy, I really enjoyed life again as the pregnancy went on, it actually got easier and easier up until the last month or so when I felt tired again. After the sickness had passed, I started running again and actually ran regularly up until 24 weeks.

I also told my close friends, closest work colleagues and close family very early on this time - largely because there was no way I could hide not drinking over Christmas, but also I figured worst case scenario and the first scan picks up a major problem, most of these people would guess something was up and I'd probably end up telling them anyway. Life is so much easier when others around you know how you're feeling.

I hope you feel better soon.

Sophia1984 Mon 15-Feb-16 12:44:06

I felt the same - absolutely horrendous morning sickness (luckily 'just' nausea but it can be completely paralysing, can't it?) until about week 8, then it eased off a bit, then came back for a bit, but was gone by 13 weeks. I'm still quite tired but have adjusted to taking things slowly. I have to travel a lot for work, but by public transport so not quite the same!

I used to go running before this pregnancy but didn't do any exercise during the first trimester - I was too tired! I have just started going to pregnancy yoga and feel loads better now. I think sometimes it takes our minds a while to catch up with the changes our bodies are going through smile

cheekstime Mon 15-Feb-16 12:50:47

Hi OP - Feel for you it can be tough at the beginning for most. Little and often, whatever foods you can tolerate & preg multi vit was the way I went. My nausea didn't wake me at night but when I was looking into solutions, I read that eating crackers at night can help. I got up a hell of a lot at night for 1st 3x a night etc for a wee!, its an eyeopener.
Hang in there it most likely get better, most people find sickness goes after 1st trimester. Mine got better before then but was still there, I did this by smalls amounts often even not up for it which curbed the sickness enough for me to then eat a good meal a day. Just do the best you can and don't beat yourself up for it. Congratulations btw! flowers. When the bubs needs the food the most you will get hungry in time. Try not to worry, you sound v conscientious, much best wishes xx

whiteychappers Mon 15-Feb-16 12:54:32

What I keep telling myself is that all the magic happens in the first 12 weeks, after 12 weeks all the bubs has to do is grow bigger, the first trimester it's literally going from nothing to a baby so ita no wonder it takes it out of you. I also keep telling myself that it must get better or people wouldn't have more than one baby (they are so brave!). I think you just have to set your expectations a bit lower. I stupidly thought that I'd puke gracefully in the morning and then be able to go on with my day like I always do. Clearly baby White decided easing me in gently wasn't the way to go. I think too some of your symptoms is just sheer shock even if the baby is planned. It hadn't crossed my mind I would feel this crap. I have lost weight which actually I think will help me as I was a bit overweight. Ovaltine is my friend when I cant keep food down as at least I'm getting some vitamins.

Moglet85 Mon 15-Feb-16 16:45:17

Thank you missingcaffeine, sophia and cheeks smile, I shall take your advice on board, and your time spent replying is appreciated flowers

I shall pause my gym membership and get DH to do a bit more around the house, feel a little guilty as he works long days but he's a grown man so should manage fine...

whitey, absolutely creased myself laughing at "puking gracefully"! grin

Pixie1988 Mon 15-Feb-16 17:05:09

Hi moglet, I'm 6+2 today with my first I totally know you are feeling, I am constantly tired, my job I'm on my feet all day and am working 50 odd hours at the minute, on top of that housework, cooking etc.
I'm feeling quite emotional and even had a little cry today! I just keep thinking people say it gets better, so just hang on in there x

Moglet85 Mon 15-Feb-16 18:15:33

Aw you too pixie xx

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