I posted yesterday in parenting my situation. I have a 16 month old son with my ex partner. We broke up several months after he was born as ex wanted me to relocate to Ireland and I didn't want too. He pays for his son and has contact via Skype but really about it unless he's down visiting family.
In summer I started seeing someone new and went on the pill as didn't plan on having babies with him anytime soon! Pill clearly failed us and I fell pregnant in October. It was never really anything serious but it was more than just sex. In the end it just fizzled out and we was long distance anyway, it wasn't working. Despite this still have a good friendship and get on. He assures me he will be there for baby although I'm not hopeful that he will Cary through with those promises as he's so far away.
It's obvious both children have different dads. Son is white with blonde hair and very blue eyes. This baby will be mixed race (half Jamaican) with brown eyes and brown hair I assume.
Obviously I'm going to have to tell the midwife that her father is black etc and give his name details at my booking appointment today. I had her with my previous pregnancy and she is very unfriendly and blunt. She will most likely ask the situation between me and new babies dad and if they have different fathers. I will have to be honest and say yes and that we are not together. She will then judge me, probably say something horrible and in addition, tell my hv.
I am only 20 so I understand people and not just her may judge me especially as Ive not got a partner. However I'm not on benefits, I have a job and I study at the same time, this babies dad also has a good career.
Am I over thinking too much? I'm a very anxious person and hate confrontation, I'm just really scared that she is going to get nasty about this too me. I've already had some comments from friends about the situation. I could understand if I was a bad mum and living off the state. I'm not, I make my own money and I believe I'm a good mum so I just don't see why me having babies is anyone else's business but my own, as long as they are well looked after.
Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.
Pregnancy
Booking app today and so nervous because of babies being by different dads
Lins2839 · 13/02/2016 11:02
Hey, congratulations on your second pregnancy. If its a wanted baby (which obviously it is) it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks! You'll be raising two children in a kind, tolerant household who will grow up to be lovely people!
With regards to midwife, can you cancel the appointment and ask to rebook with a different midwife. There's no need to see anyone you feel judged by.
Best wishes. 
Your midwife needs to know certain details about your baby's father, such as medical history and ethnic origin, in order to assess if your baby is at a higher risk from certain inherited conditions. Other than that it should be of no concern to her if he is the father of your first child too. I am sure she won't make an issue out of it but if you feel she is being judgemental about your children having different fathers you should change midwives. This is a really common situation these days, many people have children by different partners and it doesn't affect your parenting skills!
Try not to worry and good luck
Sod her, I wouldn't waste your time worrying about what she thinks; you are doing a great job and you don't need to justify yourself to her. If it's really bothering you I'm sure you can request a different midwife?
Congratulations on your pregnancy! 
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.