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My Dad just isn't interested

(9 Posts)
Lizkmg Sun 07-Feb-16 13:23:46

I'm 35 weeks pregnant and my dad just doesn't seem at all interested in the major things going on in my life at moment. The baby arriving and moving into a new house next week. I'm not really looking for advice here, it can just help sometimes to put your feelings down somewhere I find. He talks only about things he is interested in, he never asks anything about the baby, but will shove his iPad or iPhone in my face for me to fix when I visit. I've had work colleagues I barely know show more interest and buying little gifts when I finished work. My mum is really involved, I just don't know why he's so unmoved by the whole thing. It'll be his first GC too. It's horrible really. He is 69 so I make allowances for his age. Has anyone else had an experience like this?

LuckySantangelo1 Sun 07-Feb-16 13:46:23

My dad was the same. I put it down to the pregnancy really making him feel his age. He wasn't ready to be a Granddad. I'm also sure that he struggled with the idea of his youngest daughter (me) having her own family. I think he felt surplus to requirements. The one bright spot in this is that since the baby was born last year he's been a totally doting grandparent. He's completely different to how he was when I was pregnant. So try to just enjoy the rest of your pregnancy as much as you can x

cautiousoptimist1 Sun 07-Feb-16 13:46:30

I feel for you but is this normal for him? Men are generally not great at feelings and it's still quite a new thing for men to be involved at all. Is he perhaps talking more to your Mum? What happens when you try and involve him, have you for example asked what he did to prepare for your arrival or about any family names you might like?

Try not to be offended, I'm sure he's not uninterested, he may just struggle with what to say. You're still his little girl after all.

My Dad is super excited and very interested and this isn't his first GC. My Mum however isn't showing much interest but she obviously has her own stuff going on so I'm focusing on those who are interested and around. If your Dad is really not interested then try and focus on those who are - even though it's hard.

gamerchick Sun 07-Feb-16 14:04:16

Well neither of my parents were interested in any of my kids until they were well in school. My dad isn't really interested in them now emotionally. But practically he's there.

You say your mum is hands on, do you know what you want from your dad?

thecatsarecrazy Sun 07-Feb-16 15:00:22

When I told my dad I was expecting he said "well congratulations if that's what you want to hear" hmm I had recently got married so it wasn't as if I was on my own or anything. When ds came along he was over the moon. I shouldn't take it personally.

Iwonderif Sun 07-Feb-16 16:49:36

I expect when his GC is here he'll be totally different and over the moon. I think fathers do struggle when their daughters are pregnant. Moms have been through pregnancies so maybe that's why moms are normally more excited and involved. Could you have a word with your mom? Maybe he's just feeling anxious and nervous.

Lizkmg Wed 10-Feb-16 05:43:14

Thank you all got your replies, I've been moving house these past few days so haven't had the chance to check back in and respond before now. He's actually showing signs of thawing now, I suspect my mum spotted how I was feeling and "had a word"

I don't know what I'd do without my mum sometimes smile

hesterton Wed 10-Feb-16 05:58:32

Next time he shoves an iPad under your nose to fix, look him sternly in the eye and say you won't go near it until he's asked you at least three things about how you or your baby are doing.

ThePowerOfCake Wed 10-Feb-16 16:17:32

My dad wasn't interested in my pregnancy. He also didn't hold DD at all until she was 5 weeks old despite me seeing my parents all the time. I just had to accept that he wasn't going to be one of those doting granddads.

It turns out that he is absolutely fantastic with a toddler, he's just not into small babies! Maybe yours will be the same.

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