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Just miserable

(11 Posts)
TwllBach Thu 31-Dec-15 11:40:48

I am 23 weeks.

I am swigging gaviscon throughout the day. I feel like my morning sickness is back and it only really went at 19 weeks. I get travel sickness now, whether or not I am driving/in the front seat/in the back seat or it is a long or short journey.

Nothing I eat makes me feel better. I regularly feel starving and if I don't eat I know I will be sick.

I am just miserable. I am tired all the time. I don't live with DP. My housemate won't live with me after the baby is born, which I understand and don't hold any grudges about.

I am panicking that I am going to have the baby and have nowhere to go. I am looking into being able to buy as a very kind relative has offered to give me a deposit for a house, but I cannot shake the feeling that I am already failing my child.

I never feel rested, I am a teacher and have had to take on a lot of responsibilities due to long term sickness within the school. I am due at the end of April and I am already going to have to try to work up to five days before my due date and will need to return to work before the end of the school term.

I just want to feel better. Failing that, I just want to go to sleep for a long time.

TwllBach Thu 31-Dec-15 11:46:22

Oh and I forgot to mention - I have been referred to physiotherapy for my back as I went to the spinal clinic about back pain/legs giving way underneath me and he thought I had a bulging/prolapsed disc. Fun times.

But the pain actually is spreading to the front and right underneath, like under me and round the back under my bum.

I just hate it.

shivermytimbers Thu 31-Dec-15 12:04:01

Blimey! You sound like you are having a really rough time flowers I just thought I'd reply as I also teach and completely understand how you end up feeling overly responsible and unable to walk away from the job. It is important, however, that you remember that you are entitled to the same maternity leave as anyone else and, if you need to start it earlier than you planned, you really should. The school won't collapse without you and, if it does, then senior management are responsible, not you!
Get the rest you need to be able to focus on you and LO. Sounds like brilliant news that you can have some help with a deposit. I'm sure you're not failing in any way and will be a fab mum. Good luck smile

NeitherQuietNorCalm Thu 31-Dec-15 12:08:21

Screw gaviscon, get a prescription for omeprazole!

TwllBach Thu 31-Dec-15 12:12:00

Shiver I am now SLT through default - the only one apart from the head hmm

Everything feels like such a tremendous effort. I've been up for around two hours this morning - and I am back in bed.

I shall make an appointment to ask for omeprazole, thanks Neither!!

shivermytimbers Thu 31-Dec-15 12:17:56

You're still entitled to the same maternity leave starting from 28 weeks if you choose to. Don't fall into the trap of trying to be super human! Learning say "no" to people in teaching is one of the best skills you can learn (and does your career no harm either - trust me wink)

TwllBach Thu 31-Dec-15 12:38:47

It's more that I can't really afford to take more mat leave blush

I've just fucked up.

RNBrie Thu 31-Dec-15 12:43:10

Have you tried acupuncture for the sickness and indigestion? I never really believed in acupuncture but it's the only thing that's ever helped my morning sickness. Also, see the gp as well. At least get your gaviscon on prescription...

You are not failing anyone. I find pregnancy extreme difficult. I'm exhausted all of the time and I don't have the back/hip problems some people have. Can your dp move in for a while to give you some support?

TwllBach Thu 31-Dec-15 12:49:37

Turns out DP is not an option at all.

I haven't tried acupuncture, I haven't tried anything, just sat around feeling miserable.

FuzzyOwl Thu 31-Dec-15 13:00:01

Sorry you are feeling this way. Definitely get omeprazole. I had morning sickness for all of my pregnant but heartburn really exacerbated it and omeprazole made it much more bearable.

Of course you aren't failing your child. You are looking into buying a home for both of you and have a job to provide financial support for your baby. The likelihood is that you won't have completed on a new place in three months so are you able to have a definite plan for a few months after the baby is born? You say your housemate won't live with you afterwards so will s/he be moving out? If so, you can rest knowing you can stay there (even if it is expensive to cover the rent) for the short term until you can buy somewhere.

Have you spoken to your midwife or doctor about prenatal depression? I had it and it is really common but it is mainly postnatal depression that is talked about. Even if you want to avoid medication during your pregnancy, you should be offered support and perhaps even counselling to help you go through all your worries.

Pregnancy is worrying and I found it hard to sleep because I was so anxious so if nothing else, please don't feel a failure because what you are experiencing is perfectly normal for some pregnant women.

waitingforsomething Thu 31-Dec-15 13:02:17

God poor you. Pregnancy is shit - ive done it twice and I'm a teacher on SLT it's really hard work. Don't work till 5 days before your Due date- are you due near the easter holidays?
You're not failing your baby- you will love him or her and provide shelter and food and that's all you've got to do. Hugs. I was shit at being pregnant but it's totally worth it

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