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Timing of pregnancy - what did you do?(35 Posts)
We are hoping to try to conceive sometime soon-ish and are just thinking about timing. I just wondered what factors influenced other people's decisions about when to try, once you'd decided you were ready? Things like did you try to time the pregnancy to avoid particular seasons; did you aim for a particular time of year for the baby to be born?
No, we just went for it. Until you try you have no idea how easily you'll fall.
I have one friend who gets pg at the drop of a hat. Everyone else, its random.
It took 13 months to conceive DD1 (no fertility issues) so any pre conceived notions of an 'ideal' time went out of the window. DD2 conceived while breastfeeding and on the mini pill.
I think if you plan to conceive at a certain time you're setting yourself up for disappointment. You have no idea how long it will take.
Definitely not. You can't plan conception as you have no idea how long it will take.
I got pregnant with DS on the first month of trying, but it took a (still v quick) four months the second time.
I am currently surrounded by friends who are trying to get pregnant and they've all been trying for at least six months. As a pp said, if you try and plan it you're only setting yourself up for disappointment.
dd took 5 years and an mc to conceive. Couldn't decide if I wanted more. We decided to leave it up to fate and conceived again within months.
I do know people who have planned it though and it's worked out exactly as they wanted.
Ie, dc2 happening just when you've built up your maternity entitlement again, getting pg at Xmas so you can say you're giving up booze for lent,that kind of thing.
I had the before I'm 35 idea in my head but couldn't explain why and besides it didn't happen like that anyway.
I can't see how the time of year makes much difference. I will have a summer and a winter baby and both pregnancies have been pretty similar. Although I've had 3 consecutive summers with severe nausea but it would bother me in the winter too.
We were ready as soon as we started trying.
Nope, took 2 years plus miscarriages, so just happy to be pregnant at all. Saying that I'm glad I'm due in the Spring as I avoid being huge and heavy during hot summer months, and avoid the worry about getting to hospital in icy or snowy weather etc, but honestly would have taken any of that - they are minor issues in the scheme of things!
ffaux I had my first in the winter and it was snowing on the way to hospital, and had my second in July following a 3 week heatwave (temperature in the 30's!)
I think what OP might mean about the seasons may be to do with birthdays? DS1 is a winter baby, close to Christmas and his birthday is always a bit awkward and expensive to plan, it has to be in doors so not practical in our own house (we both have very big families) so have to pay for it to be somewhere else, pg with DC2 now and will be due May, will be able to have birthdays at our own house in the garden (granted the weather isn't too bad, never guaranteed in England). Glad this one isn't on top of Christmas too again money wise! wasn't trying for this one it just happened, however I did always say if we had anymore I would like to plan for a summer baby but obviously a healthy baby born on Christmas day would even be a blessing!
grotbag haha, wow! Good stories to tell
I think if you have plenty of time on your side and are in good health you can try and plan it if you have birthday months in mind you would prefer, or to work better with your work schedule etc.
But I think the average time to conceive for a couple in their 20s without fertility issues is 3-4 months, as you have about a 25% chance each month. But as everyone has said it can happen on first month, or take much much longer, whatever your age or circumstances.
We were TTC for 3 years. Booked an expensive holiday in the US for 9 months' time and ta-dah, found out we were pregnant. I'm (so far) due on the day after we were due to get there...
You really can't try to plan it for the perfect time...
I had my implant taken out, and assumed it would take a few months for my body to get back into the swing of things...but no. I fell pregnant 3 weeks later.
We are now thinking about #2, and trying to keep the next birthday away from DD's but not too close to mine....I am now realising that I'm being stupid and I need to stop trying to micromanage this!
We decided to have a year of doing things on our bucket list before trying for a baby. The last on our list was a trekking holiday last October and so we decided we would ttc as soon as we got home.
DH wanted to wait until January so that we wouldn't have a July/ August baby as he is concerned about the child being the youngest in the school year.
As we are getting on a bit and I had read all the fertility stories on here, I thought it would take a while and so persuaded DH we should just go for it.
Of course I fell pregnant straight away and we have a july baby
You just never know until you try.
We just went for it to see what happened, the time of year or potential birth month didn't influence our decision but I had recently changed jobs and we did make sure that I qualified for mat leave benefits before we started trying. I wouldn't have described myself as 'ready' when we started trying, more 'curious'. Losing our first pg to mc made us realise just how much we do want this.
Noone here is trying to make you think that it will definitely take ages or that there will definitely be complications but unfortunately there does need to be an awareness that noone can take it for granted that it will all be plain sailing.
Best of luck with trying, and make sure you have plenty of fun along the way.
We just went for it any nothing happened for months.
In January we decided to up and move 150 miles away, buy a new house and start new jobs. Typically that's the month I got pregnant and didn't find out until March haha.
Go for it, you never know when it will happen. It does sound cliched when people say these things happen when you least expect but for me they did!
I planned to fall pregnant in Jan/Feb time as there is lots at the end of the year I like doing which involves drink I fell pregnant in June. I'm not bothered though as I'm in love with this baby already and had I conceived in that time then this one wouldn't be my baby! Hope that makes sense.
Took us 9 months to conceive this one so like others have said, if your ready now then start trying now as you may not fall pregnant quickly. You will probably find that your first 12 weeks are full of drinking events that you have to come up with excuses as to why your not drinking!
You can plan it in the sense of "If we start trying now and I fall pregnant straight away then that's ok", rather than starting trying and hoping it takes a few months otherwise you hit a big problem.
But anything else is just luck!
This sort of planning is a mistake - if you make the time of the year into a big deal you are much more likely to be disappointed by one of the most exciting things to happen to you. If you are ready, get on with it and stop with the overthinking.
Honestly, even Christmas babies (I know 2 adults and 2 children with birthdays on Christmas day) only "suffer" the twice a year or so it comes up in conversation. Your birthday is really not a big deal, not compared to how great it is to have parents ready for you and happy with when you arrive.
Yep, we wanted our kids to fall early in the academic year (if poss) so started trying in late December thinking that if it happened straightaway we'd be on for September, or, if it took a few months, that'd be OK too.
Turned out it happened in the first month each time, and we have an October and September birthday.
Its always a gamble though - if DC2 had been born at 38 weeks he'd have been an August baby, and probably the youngest in his year.
We'd planned on stopping trying not to have a baby after our wedding-as it happens I found out I was expecting 3 weeks before the big day-two days before my hen party I'm just pleased that we didn't have months of trying and being disappointed. I really wish it was as easy for everyone
Thing is you could be really fortunate and conceive straight away, it may take a couple of cycles or it could take months and months, or you may need help. We assumed it would take ages but it didn't. So I ended up pregnant after the first month, without a permanent job and with my husband at uni. Luckily I've now got a permanent hob as has he and he's finished uni. If we'd waited a month I'd also be entitled to occupational mat pay which would have helped our finances. However if we'd waited a month we wouldn't have been able to tell OHs gran, who passed away 2 weeks after we told her. The smile on her face at the news is something I'll treasure forever. It's swings and roundabouts!
In trying for our second we discussed taking a month break because my husband is bestan at a wedding and I thought it would be harsh to be in labour at the same time!
Now I am due on Christmas Day.. Seems we can count 9 months back from a wedding but not anything else!
We had to wait for enhanced mat pay to kick in mid-February but had a big holiday booked beginning of April so waited until late March to start tC as I wanted to eat and drink what I wanted!
We waited to TTC till we'd bought our house and were lucky enough to conceive the following month. We had been convinced it would take a while due to historic cycle issuesso it was a bit of a surprise!
What Thurlow said.
DC1 was a one-off condom-splitting incident. I'd been off the pill for two weeks after 13yrs on it and DH is no spring chicken... Didn't take the morning after pill as we thought 'what are the chances?'
DC2 is still in the early stages of cooking. We'd decided to stop using contraception, but not actually really try, see what happened and take it all a bit more seriously if we hadn't got anywhere in a few months. 2 months and only 3 occasions of the horizontal samba
even that many were a miracle with our toddler about. Passion killer! and BANG.
I don't know how I haven't found myself pregnant in the past as I wasn't always exactly careful in my youth
On the flip side a close friend and her DH have been trying very hard for two years with nothing, another is nearly due her DC but tried for 3 years, another is now thankfully pregnant again after a mc. You just don't know until you try. I can guarantee those women couldn't give a toss what season their babies are born in.
When you have the big stuff in place (house/secure job/marriage/whatever is important to you personally), crack on. Everything else will fall in around it when it happens.
Plus even if you do conceive exactly when you plan, babies have this annoying habit of being early and late...!
We initially tried to plan for a spring baby but it took 3 years to conceive although she did end up being born in March, with dd2 we decided to try for spring again and I fell pregnant the first month we tried and she was born very end of Feb.
For me I loved having spring babies as it's lovely having the whole summer ahead to get out and about, I also loved putting them in dresses and romper suits with their wonderful fat thighs on show!
I also liked having the fat stage of my pregnancy during winter so I could hibernate and wear baggy jumpers without overheating.
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