Midwife trouble!

[charlh929]

I just need a rant really and a bit of advice. I'm pregnant and I am seeing the same midwife as I did with my last pregnancy at my GP. She is the only midwife available at the surgery. The only problem is I cannot stomach her. Throughout my last pregnancy, she was disinterested, forgot my name times (understandable in the early days, but at my 40 week appointment?), asked what gender my baby was at every appointment, and just generally couldn't seem more disinterested. She never once asked if I had any concerns or questions, and when I occasionally did ask a question (it was my first baby), she would sigh, look at her watch and hand me some leaflets which she told me to look through. I also had severe sickness until 5 months, which I told her about but she just said its normal. A few weeks later I ended up in hospital and found I was severely dehydrated as I couldn't keep anything down. I couldn't wait till my baby was born just so I didn't have to see her. Even when she came round to my house after DS was born, she rudely said 'am I not going to be offered a cup of tea then?' 2 minutes after she'd walked through the door (my partner was busy talking through details with the HV who turned up 10 minutes beforehand, and I was changing my DS). She then said of my labour 'it sounds like you had an easy one then'. Unbelievable. I couldn't wait for her to leave. Anyway, now I'm pregnant again I have to see her again, and I got greeted with 'oh it's you is it?'. I dread my appointments, feel uncomfortable whilst there and feel as though I can't voice any concerns I might have. Is there any way I can see another midwife without changing my GP or is that the only way to make sure I don't have to see her again. I've been at the same surgery for years so I feel comfortable there, however, if the only route is to change GPs I would do so without hesitation.

[Sighing]

Does the nearest hospital have antenatal appointments there to choose over gp based?

[Rhiannon2015]

Omg.. Speak to your doctor for their opinion - can you request a call back? It's confidential whatever you say to your doctor and they might know how best to advise you. No point adding more stress with a horrible Midwife!! I would switch doctors if there is no other solution, at least for the remainder of your pregnancy. And then switch back afterwards? Xx

[mrschatty]

Can you request to be midwife lead at your chose hospital instead. I've done this and have never see my gp surgery midwife x

[Stylingwax]

Ugh. I would complain to the Supervisor of Midwives of her local team (should be on Internet) and get another one, even if you have to travel elsewhere.

[CarShare]

She sounds hideous. Maybe go with whatever option will cause you least stress (I hate complaining and would rather change surgery/request to be midwife lead by the hospital than raise an issue- which I know is a bit silly).

[charlh929]

Thank you for your replies. How do you do about requesting to be midwife led at the hospital? Do you just need to speak to your GP? I don't really complain about anything unless I can help it, and I'm not sure that if I did, I would be able to see a different midwife without changing surgeries.

[Workingmum473]

Same problem...it appears some midwives seem to be so overstretched that when you go in they hardly have time for you. I saw a different one and they seemed to all be the same....appointments always running 30mins to an hour late and then the appointment is rushed when u do finally see the midwife.

You usually discuss midwife led care towards the end of your pregnancy (near due date) with the midwife where you decide where you would like to have ur baby....birthing centre or hospital. If your pregnancy is high risk then it may be led by a doctor

[charlh929]

I understand that they have a job to do and only have a certain time window to fit a certain number of people in, however, I do think that for the few minutes that we spend with them, they should be friendly, helpful and make us feel as comfortable as possible. I saw two different midwifes at a health centre near me when my midwife was on holiday, and they were lovely. I haven't a bad word to say about them, they took more of an interest in a few minutes than my midwife did during my whole pregnancy. Think I've just got an awkward one tbh.

[LucilleLeSueur]

Are you in a university city in the SE, OP?

Sounds like my first midwife - I moved practices and then lodged a formal complaint about her.

[lozengeoflove]

In my neck of the woods GP surgeries do not offer midwife care at all and instead it's self referral at one of the local hospitals. I don't think you need to ask to transfer your care to your nearest hospital. Just call their community midwives team and speak with them.

Good luck.

[mrschatty]

Hi- I'm midwife lead and just asked at booking in appointment and they just wrote that on my notes! Hope you get something sorted you shouldn't have to dread seeing someone whose care your under

[barefootzenhippy]

I think that the supervisor of midwives should be able to help you here - the number will be on the front of your notes.

Lucille - did your midwife's name begin with S? If it's her I completely understand you wanting to change!

[ejclementine]

I've just changed from my awful gp midwife. I called the hospital and they very easily arranged for me to go to a new clinic. They were lovely and didn't ask for details, I just said I wasn't building a relationship with her. You'll be fine to move and you won't need to change gp.

[charlh929]

Thank you for your replies! I'll phone the hospital & keep you updated on what happens

[FizzlePops]

What a shame OP, I've had nothing but really lovely midwives. She sounds like she hates her job, how unprofessional she sounds.