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Health visitor

(10 Posts)
fawkes182 Thu 01-Oct-15 16:48:53

I met my health visitor for the first time today and she seemed lovely!! But I must admit I am worried about the state of my flat. Do they expect it to be pristine cos I am not a clean freak.. I hate cleaning and I will make sure we have clean clothes n dishes etc but I must admit I the bare minimum. My son has autism and tends to make a constant mess and leaves clothes n stuff lying around, he's started to learn to pick up after himself if asked but has to be asked constantly. My partner is a builder.. he doesn't think alot of the time and trends in mud, and just kinda dumps stuff everywhere.. doesn't help clean up at all cos in his kind he's been at work so he doesn't have to even tho he's the main person making the mess?? That is 50% of why I don't clean often cos I get so pissed off of being dumped on asking for help n no one doing it that I think sod it i'm not.doing it!!! And the other 50% is I am lazy n hate cleaning lol!!! But yeah are health visitors judgemental? Xxx

BreeVDKamp Thu 01-Oct-15 16:50:09

I don't think so! I think they'll understand or even ADVISE that you don't do much housework when you are heavily pregnant/have a newborn ;)

stuckinahole Thu 01-Oct-15 16:55:11

IMO ....

Yes they do judge.

Mine kept looking around the whole time, wanted to know everything.

I hate all these HV/ SW .... They are judgemental & make you feel like shit.

Hopefully yours will be fine smile

fawkes182 Thu 01-Oct-15 16:56:00

Lol I hope so!!! When I'm home alone I don't care cos it's my home but when she turned up I thought oh dear.. there's lego everywhere and dog kept coming over n scratching her fur everywhere!!! I swear she was doing it on purpose lol xxxx

Sairelou Thu 01-Oct-15 16:57:00

My HV's have never even asked to use the bathroom, let alone go snooping at the state of any other rooms in the house. Don't worry smile

fawkes182 Thu 01-Oct-15 17:00:51

Stuckinahole oh no really?? I must admit when I had my son I got an awful health visor who wanted me to get rid of my dog, she was judgmental of me cos I have piercings (lip, nose ears and tattoos), I lived at home at the time and my mums a clean freak! But the health visitor hated my dog? Anyway we moved out and my son's dad left and I was on anti depressants for a bit cos he was violent and had mentally bullied me for 4 years and I needed help. The health visitor used to turn up at my flat unannounced, she would make comments and stuff about the flat (iI had no money at the time so I had the basics and nothing matched) she still hated the dog! She made me go to a motherand baby group and said if I didn't she would report me to the social services! She was utterly awful!!!! In the end I told my parents and my dad complained and it turned out she was doing it to alot of girls and lost her job. I got a new one after that and she was lovely! But I can't help sake the feeling I'm being judged xxx

fawkes182 Thu 01-Oct-15 17:02:31

Sairelou no she didn't go looking around which was good lol she seemed ok I must admit I did say sorry cos the dog kept scratching up fur lol but she just laughed so I'm hoping that's a good sign. I was just curious about others experiences xxx

rallytog1 Thu 01-Oct-15 17:20:23

My HV told me she'd worry more if the house was immaculate! They definitely don't expect you to have a pristine home (not the sensible ones anyway- which most of them are).

stuckinahole Thu 01-Oct-15 21:49:49

Rallytog1 - yep I agree

HV couldn't "find" a fault with my home or parenting so she was looking at every way possible to understand how I could possibly cope as a lone parent, working & looking after our home.

Sorry my experience of HV is very negative

jorahmormont Thu 01-Oct-15 21:58:11

We moved in a week before I gave birth so for HV's first visit was just boxes and bags everywhere. She didn't care, she said as long as baby had somewhere to sleep and clean surfaces (both of which we had) that's all that matters.

It was much better than the midwife who came to 'my' house to do the booking in - it was conducted sitting in the less-than-pristine kitchen of the student house I was living in with my friends from my course grin

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