School runs after delivery

[Jasmine12]

Hi all,

Background: I have a 7 yr old DS and this is my second pregnancy. We have no family here. I have a cleaner to help with cleaning and laundry. A friend has luckily offered to give me meals to freeze every week (for a month). She works full time, so I am VERY VERY grateful for her help.
DH does nothing remotely close to cooking. He might just be able to get me a sandwich after coming back from work. He works in a stressful job with a long commute. So has to leave home by 7 am. DH plans to take 1 week off after the baby comes. (Not possible to take longer break)

Problem: I am worried sick about school runs after the baby comes. Appreciate suggestions from other mums here with school kids. How early did you start going on school runs? Did you have a normal delivery or C-section? Is it okay to take such a small baby out in winters? (Im due in Feb)

[NickNacks]

Probably not the person to ask. I was back the next day doing school runs after an afternoon home birth. No cleaner or lovely friend making meals. This was dc3.

[Kr1stina]

Well I'm guessing your home birth wasn't a Cs then Nick . Don't be such a smart arse

Jasmine - do you do the school run on foot or by car? How long does it take ? Do you live in the UK?

[JawannaDrink]

I picked up two older from school the afternoon that DC had been born at 2am.
Why wouldn't you take a baby out in winter, its the UK not the Arctic!

[Orangesarenottheonlyfruit]

Don't fret, the joy of babies is that are portable. I had a sling and my husband's old ski jacket that I used for DD2. It was very useful, I used to feed her in the morning and tuck her into that as we walked. DD1 used to scoot and DD2 used to have her morning nap. It was far easier than having a grumpy toddler later on!
I had a C-section but was OK doing the school run after about four weeks.

[YouMakeMyDreams]

I was back to school runs straight away twice. The older two were desperate to show off their new brother when I had ds2. Never had anyone making meals or a cleaner either I just got on with it.
Of course you can take babies put in winter. Wrap them up cosy and off you go.

[LostInMess]

Place marking if you don't mind OP. DC4 due in 2.5 weeks, 2 to get to school, one to preschool, DH leaves at 6.30, not back until 8pm and after this morning I had my head in my hands wondering how on earth we are ever going to get out!

When DC3 came along, DC1 was still at preschool and by the time she started school, he was 5 months old so much more predictable. But based on my limited experience with that, my plan is just to get up around 6, try to get baby fed before I have to get me/DC ready and then give a top up feed of there's time before we leave. Although this is largely presuming birth is straightforward - also a home birth last time at Saturday tea time and DH was back at work on the Wednesday - he does at least get 2 weeks paternity leave this time for the first time.

Babies do have the big advantage that they can be bundled into snowsuits/car seats while still in pyjamas - I am banking on doing this a lot and sorting stuff when I get back after school run.

But at the end of the day, trying not to stress about it too much as guess we will cope as always do.

Good luck, OP.

[NickNacks]

Not a smart arse! Where does the op say she's having a CS???

[FishWithABicycle]

How far is it to school?

If you end you end up needing a section - It's commonly said that you aren't supposed to drive for 6 weeks after a C-section. There is actually no law that says this (though check with your insurers). The alleged reason is that because in the event that you had to brake suddenly (even if you didn't have a collision) the force of the seatbelt could do you a serious injury - but this would also suggest that you shouldn't be a car passenger for 6 weeks which is never suggested. It may be that the theory is that if you are the driver you might not brake hard enough to avoid an accident in order to protect yourself. If your insurers don't have a problem with you driving and you then drive.

If you can do the school run on foot or by bus, then even a tiny newborn will be fine in a sling against your body (put the sling on over a light top so that the baby shares your warmth, add cardies and coat over both of you ensuring baby can breath and isn't overheated. Pop a hat on. no problems. It is fine to take a baby out any time so long as they are not too hot and not too cold.

Or if you are friendly with one of you 7yo's schoolfriends' parents, perhaps see if they can do school run for 6 weeks while your baby is tiny and return the favour - giving them some more time to themselves, for an equivalent amount when your baby is a bit older?

[chandelierswinger]

Do you know any other parents at school who might be happy to help out on school runs? Even if it's just the morning run? You will find that lots of people are more than happy to be useful; you just need to ask.

I also echo the "babies are portable" thing too. My sling was my saviour on the school run! Snowsuits are great and walking with the pram will do you both the world of good.

You can never imagine how it is going to be IRL but you will manage. Just allow yourself more time than you currently do for each school run.

[chandelierswinger]

X-post with Fish!

[Jasmine12]

Sorry, I am not trying to be precious or something. We lived near my parents when DS was born. Had lots of family around. It was a normal delivery - I was sent home after 1 week (due to infection). I didnt lift a finger for nearly 2 months. Mum looked after everything. Mum offered to come over this time, but unfortunately she has some health issues. I thougth its not fair to ask her to come and help. Since I did nothing until I fully recovered before, I am looking for advice on manging things by myself. (I dont even remember how it felt like last time)

To answer some questions:

School is appx 10-12 min walk (uphill) from home
I dont drive to school - parking problems.
I am in the UK (London)

[Jasmine12]

@ JawannaDrink - OMG! You are soo amazign!! What did you do with the bleeding etc? With DS, I bled like an open tap everytime I moved on day1! Day 2 was slightly better, but I still had HEAVY bleeding!

[Aftershock15]

Well you won't have to do the school runs for the first week as dh can do them. Hopefully by week 2 the bleeding won't be so bad.

With ds3, after the first week, which was dh leave I just stuck him in the sling and dropped the others to pre school/school. I was about 30 mins down hill going (so up hill on the way back). If I had been really stuck I would have asked another school mum for help - most people are happy to help if asked.

Does your ds currently sort his own breakfast? That will make a big difference to your timing. I used to put cereal into little portion sized boxes and lay out their places the night before. When dh left at about 6:30 he would fill their juice glasses and leave out a small milk jug. So I could send them down to get started on the cereal while I fed / changed to baby. Mine were only just 5 & 3 so needed the help. At 7 yours may be well able to do this already. That and having school uniform/bag/shoes all arranged before bed saved many mornings.

I'm sure you will cope just fine - and I would make your dh learn to cook simple meals - following a recipe is easy enough if he can follow other instructions.

[Artandco]

Bare in mind feb might coincide with half term so might give you an extra week at home

After a week it should be fine. Get a sling like a close caboo and can pop baby in for warmth as easier than a pram uphill. Allow 20 mins the first few weeks so you can go slower than usual.

[PotteringAlong]

Not lifting a finger for the first month isn't usual though, and it definitely isn't usual for a second child. The answer is you just get on with it because you have no other option. I walked to get ds1 from nursery the day I got out of hospital with ds2.

It's absolutely fine to take babies out in the winter; how else would you get anything done?

[SocksRock]

My third child was 22 hours old the first time she did the school run with me. And that was in December. Sling and a large fleece over the top worked a treat. In fact a couple of people said "oh, no baby yet". Me "what, this baby?!?" .

Just leave extra time for the journey wrap up warm and take it slow. Not sure about CS, but a normal vaginal delivery and you should be fine after your DH's paternity leave.

[Kr1stina]

If you have a CS you will need a very light weight buggy for the baby , unless you find a sling and baby comfortable for your back and your wound. I didn't , but some mums love them .

If you are planning to drive anywhere , you need a car seat that stays in the car, as you can't lift a baby and a car seat at first . Remember you can't lift anything heavier than your baby , and it's the lifting and twisting that is risky. Which is exactly what you need to do to get a baby in the car seat in the back of the car.

If you put the baby seat in the front you need to disable the air bag .

It's not the carrying the baby after a CS that's the problem , it's the baby plus heavy buggy or baby plus car seat .

At least you have a short journey so you should be able to get home before you leak ! In the first few weeks I had to change my pad every hours or so which is time consuming and tying .

And it's not cold in London , so baby will be fine well wrapped up .

Great tips about getting your DS ready the night before. Or rather, getting his father to do it . Good training for them both .

And why can't your Dh prepare basic meals ? Is her very disabled ? Lost of people have jobs and commutes and manage to pop a couple of chops under the grill and microwave some veg . When you have a newborn it's all hands on deck I'm afraid .

[Kr1stina]

And I don't think you are being precious at all Op, it's natural to worry .

There is always someone on MN who comes on to boast that they popped out their baby in 30 mins while cooking the Christmas dinner for 20 guests . Then fed him while serving the meal and clearing up afterwards . And of course they went shopping for the ingredients while they were in labour ( after popping a couple of paracetamol ) .

And there's The others who had a Cs but we're back at the gym two days later and running a marathon by the end of the month . Totally believable and not smug at all .

I'm sorry to hear you mum is unwell and hope she feels well enough to meet her new grandchild soon .

[museumum]

Will your dh get his two weeks paternity leave?
I was fine to walk with a sling in week 3 and glad if the fresh air.
Week 1 may have been difficult though.

[CurlsLDN]

OP i think some people are giving you a hard time here. I think no matter what help you may or may not have lined up, it's perfectly natural to obsess and worry about odd things before a baby arrives! (i really fretted about how i'd use a public toilet with a baby, but it's turned out to not be a problem at all, like so many things!)

Since you have a cleaner, could you not discuss with her whether she might be able to walk ds to school for, eg, three weeks. That would give you a month total (with dh doing it for the first week). Even if she just did the morning, it would mean you'd have all day to get yourself organised for the afternoon. I know it's not at all within usual cleaner duties, and would have to be her choice, but it might be worth considering and discussing?

[fabuLou]

How about a PN doula? I don'tknow about after a csection but after straight forward birth you will manage just fine.

[poocatcherchampion]

I think 2 months is a little optimistic!

After dc2 which was a csection I was driving at 4 weeks, walking into town with a double pushchair before. And you just deal with household tasks like cooking and washing.

Might I suggest your dh wants to figure out how to heat up a frozen pizza?

[JawannaDrink]

I'm not at all, I just felt great after dc3, unlike the other 2. I felt much better than I had done for the last month of pregnancy, and it was an easy delivery, so I was raring to go.
Everyone is different, there is nothing smug about telling the truth of your own experience

[Lucy61]

You'll be fine, op. You don't have to cook or clean and school is 10 mins away. You'll manage just fine. Sometimes pregnancy plays havoc with our emotions and makes us worry too much. You might have had help with dc1, but you've been a mum for 7 years, I'm sure you're used to doing a lot already.

[Allyoucaneat]

I walked to our preschool and back to get my DS a few days after ds2 was born. Just make sure baby is fed in plenty of time so not screaming for milk on the school run.

I had stitches and a 2nd degree tear but could manage a 20min walk no bother. Honestly it will be fine. Plan easy meals for first few weeks, newborns are so portable. It's only now my ds2 is just beginning to toddlers he's less happy just to sit in the pushchair and watch the world go by.