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Overweight and terrified of mc

(22 Posts)
Silverglitter Mon 31-Aug-15 19:22:36

I'm not really sure why i am posting this, I guess I'm just hoping for a bit of reassurance really or honesty if I should be really worried.

I am currently almost 6 weeks pregnant (my first pregnancy which has taken a very long time to happen) and I am so terrified of something going wrong that I just can't enjoy it.

I am under 35 and don't have any health conditions but I am quite overweight ( a UK size 18) and have read that this can be a contributory factor in causing miscarriages.

I am eating very healthily since I've found out I'm pregnant and not drinking any alcohol or caffeine but I just feel so guilty that i didn't lose the weight before trying for a baby and now so scared that it will cause a mc.

Does anybody have any experience of being overweight in pregnancy or know anything more about the risks of mc?

Brummiegirl15 Mon 31-Aug-15 19:26:54

I've had 3 mcs and no one really knows the reason why - had all tests under the sun but I can tell you that bring overweight does not cause mcs!!!!

It can be chromosomal in which case the healthiest perfect BMI person would still sadly lose their baby.

If you issues with sticky blood then that can be an issue.

But I've been tested and all clear. For many many women there are no causes. Which is really hard to hear

You just have to stay brave and keep the faith and take it a day at a time. You cannot do anything about an mc sadly.

I'm now 18 wks on my 4th attempt so keep strong flowers

Cnmorgan13 Mon 31-Aug-15 19:27:14

Much hugs! Talk to your doctor, they will advise you best. I put on a stone in like a month eating like a horse, my excuse, if I didn't eat I felt sick, just didn't throw any of it up lol. It sounds like you are making up for lost time now, so please don't beat yourself up flowers

Silverglitter Mon 31-Aug-15 19:29:32

Thank you both so much I feel better just reading your posts it's such a weird time early pregnancy isn't it because you can't share your feelings with friends etc and I don't want to worry my poor DH because he is so happy and excited!x

chelle792 Mon 31-Aug-15 19:35:59

silver I have recently suffered a miscarriage and my friends have all been amazing. Tell those that you want/need support from if the best or worst happens. If it helps then there is no harm. Keeping pregnancy a secret is a very cultural thing.

This is going to sound weird so please don't judge. We took a while to conceive as I don't ovulate regularly and as devastating as the miscarriage was I believe it needed to happen because baby wouldn't have been healthy. I did everything right and this still happened. I wouldn't have wanted my baby to suffer. I'm ok, I'm coping. Strangely it's not as bad as I thought when I keep in my head what was best for baby

Skiptonlass Mon 31-Aug-15 19:36:01

Lots of us were a bit overweight before we concieved - I was a size 16 and I'm quite short, so significantLy overweight.

Yes, there's an association but it's not absolute - the average size in the UK now is a 14 I think, which unless you're tall is likely to be overweight. Statistics work on a population level - it tells you very little about the individual. If you're overweight, for example, you have a higher chance of high blood pressure, or gestational diabetes. But... You may have perfect blood sugar and perfect blood pressure. You're an individual, so take the population level statistics in mind, but don't think they absolutely will apply to you!

When you read the statistics on miscarriage and obesity, keep in mind too that a big part of that increased risk is down to co morbid conditions - and you're healthy.

Eat healthily, don't drink or smoke, get regular excercise and go to your scheduled midwife checks. That's all any of us can do. The odds are that you'll have a perfectly normal pregnancy. You'll have a slightly higher chance of gestational diabetes but you'll be monitored for that, and if you have it you'll be treated, so it'll be ok. Set some good lifestyle habits in now and you may be pleasantly surprised. I've put very little weight on and am on track to be lighter post birth (once this flipping great bump and boobs are accounted for!)

Pregnancy is a very anxious time, especially those first trimester weeks. Your worries are normal so talk them over with your midwife. Mine has weighed me once or twice but is of the opinion that my weight isn't an issue.

Silverglitter Mon 31-Aug-15 19:42:05

Thank you so much that does make me feel better, I hadn't thought of the fact that it's likely not obesity in isolation that contributes to the figures!
I have my first midwife appointment this week so am just going to be open and honest with her about my fears and hopefully she will make sure that the right checks are in place just incase anything like blood pressure or gestational diabetes arise (hopefully they won't be an issue with no history of problems and a healthy diet during pregnancy) x

dementedpixie Mon 31-Aug-15 19:43:37

I was very overweight in both my pregnancies (like 15/16 stone) and apart from borderline gestational diabetes in my first pregnancy (diet controlled) everything was fine

Silverglitter Mon 31-Aug-15 19:44:42

Chelle thank you for your reply I am so sorry to hear about your mc but what an inspiration you are that you can take such a reasoned approach and be so strong. All the very best for your journey ahead x

Junosmum Mon 31-Aug-15 20:42:38

Miscarriages happen unfortunately and there are lots of reasons. Being overweight gives you a tiny tiny increased chance due to hormonal issues - but this tends to be before you even get a positive on a pregnancy test, but most miscarriages are caused by chromosome abnormalities in the embryo and nothing to do with weight, caffeine intake, stress, exercise or sex!

rosieliveson1 Mon 31-Aug-15 20:50:13

My first pregnancy is running around trying to avoid bedtime and my second is merrily kicking me in the bladder at a healthy 30 weeks!
I have had a high BMI for both pregnancies and this hasn't caused any additional issues. I have been told I have gestational diabetes this time around but, so far, have made minor changes to my diet and my blood sugars are well controlled. I was also told by the diabetes nurse that my weight would not have been the only factor in getting GD.
Your weight alone will not cause you any additional problems. Good luck

chelle792 Tue 01-Sep-15 11:05:02

Thankyou silver. It is devastating but just know that if the worst does happen, you won't be to blame. I never thought this would happen to me (this baby was treasured by us both from day 1) but these things happen for a reason. It happens to so many women that your bmi won't be to blame. Take care of yourself xx

Ps I'm very sorry that I'm talking to you about something that hopefully won't happen. My intention is to comfort x

Silverglitter Tue 01-Sep-15 21:10:51

Thank you Rosie I can't even begin to imagine my teeny tiny dot running around the house one day!!

Mrseden1990 Tue 01-Sep-15 22:07:32

I was desperately worried about the same thing, when I found out I was pregnant. To be honest, I still am at 25 weeks. I'm a big girl, always have been. DH and I were expecting not to conceive for months because of my size. Everything seems to be going great. Try not to worry too much, I know it's easier said than done. Midwives are there to help you, just ask. Good luck with your pregnancy, try to enjoy it. It's going so quickly for me, hopefully the same for you. flowers

GoooRooo Tue 01-Sep-15 22:11:04

OP I am very overweight - a size 20/22. I have had one healthy DS, a miscarriage and am now pregnant again and due a baby girl this month.

There is absolutely no way to know if my weight contributed to my miscarriage. It might have something to do with my age too - I'm 40 - or it might just be One Of Those Things. There is just no way to know. Miscarriage is very common in ALL women - much more common than you might think - and although weight may play a part it is one of hundreds of other factors that might also be the cause.

The other two pregnancies I've had have been completely complication free - no gestational diabetes, no other weight related problems at all. DS was a vaginal birth. So having a high BMI does not necessrily mean a bad outcome. I know it's very hard not to worry though! flowers

LBOCS2 Wed 02-Sep-15 20:34:49

I've had three miscarriages. The first was when I was 18, and a size 10. My second and third was when I was 26 and a size 16/18. I had extensive testing and there was no rhyme or reason for it - it was just 'one of those things'. It just goes to show, you never can tell. I now have a healthy 2yo DD who is currently throwing DVDs around the living room.

WombOfOnesOwn Wed 02-Sep-15 20:44:15

I'm six feet tall and a size 28, and have had 2 miscarriages due to low vitamin D. Now that I fixed the Vit D issue, I am 15 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby boy!

EdgarAllenPoe Thu 03-Sep-15 12:25:00

I'm 22 weeks pregnant with my first so I understand the miscarriage fear in those early weeks. It never 100% goes away unfortunately, and after the birth I imagine we'll worry just as much if not more about the baby!

Moral of the story is: we will always find something to worry about and a way of blaming ourselves. If it wasn't your weight, it would be that one runny egg you ate one time, or waking up lying flat on your back, or not eating the perfect healthful diet, I could go on. Unfortunately most miscarriages are not something you can control. They happen, it's not usually anything you did or didn't do. Horrible truth, but truth nonetheless. And even though miscarriages are quite common, you are still much more likely NOT to miscarry and that's worth remembering.

(Runny eggs are fine with the lion mark btw. Wish I'd known that sooner!)

APad1 Thu 03-Sep-15 15:10:02

I feel the same. I have a perfectly healthy beautiful little boy (3 years old) and have been trying for another for 20 months and I am now 6 weeks pregnant. I am very overweight, much more than you and I have read through the pregnancy notes they give you and it has really worried and stressed me out. I feel like I am already being judged and that I am going to be looked down upon by my midwife and the consultant the pack says I need to see due to weight! I was around the same weight with my first pregnancy and did not have any weight related issues and they didn't make much of big deal of it, just a couple of extra scans, but reading the new information it seems different this time. Of course I wish I was several stone lighter and that it would be less risky if I was, but there's not a lot I can do about that now, I don't drink or smoke and I am being careful with what I am eating now im pregnant. I lost weight with my first pregnancy due to constant sickness (HG) and hoping not to be like that this time around. I am generally healthy and my weight has not affected me so far in life although obviously I aim to loose weight asap. I just think once your pregnant, making you feel bad about your weight is unfair and all it is doing is upsetting and stressing me out which is not good for myself or the baby sad

Silverglitter Thu 03-Sep-15 17:37:38

APad1 I am so glad you said that about all the paperwork in the pregnancy notes making you feel terrible because I feel exactly the same!
All of you lovely people had made me feel so so much better about the whole weight in pregnancy issue but then I met with my midwife for the first time earlier this week and after reading the notes today I feel 1000 times worse!
From being banished to a different ward to basically being told you shouldn't have an epidural (I don't think I would ideally anyway but it's not the point!) I feel like some sort of 50 stone monster that Shouldn't be able to walk unaided I'm that fat!!
I have no health conditions, my bp is normal and I'm only just over the average UK dress size for god sake it seems absolutely ridiculous.
I should add that the midwife was absolutely fabulous and didn't make a big deal of it at all, it was just reading the notes that made me feel really depressed.
I am just going to try my very best not to think about it, appreciate that I will get more checks because that can only be good for the baby and get on with my big fat life!

LBOCS2 Thu 03-Sep-15 18:37:59

It's all bollocks anyway. The fact is that the risk of developing a complication increases when you're pregnant - not that you will definitely have them. This is what pisses me off so much about it, there is nothing that categorically says 'once you're past x weight, y will happen' - it's all risk factors. And you're still more likely to have a healthy, complication free pregnancy and birth than not - just perhaps not as likely as you would have done being a few stones lighter.

ComingRoundTheMountain Thu 03-Sep-15 19:39:54

I was 110kg when I conceived dc1 and 116kg when I conceived dc2. Both healthy pregnancies and deliveries. Actually didn't gain weight with either so was lighter when they came out than when they went in. though the year eating cake after they were born led to me putting on a stone each time

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