Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

Anyone else's dh/dp not showing signs of excitement?

(28 Posts)
K8eee Sat 27-Jun-15 23:28:31

dh doesn't get excited at anything but I think on top of my hormones being all over the place, and being in pain with spd/pgp I feel like I'm very much on my own and that he's really not bothered sad anyone else feeling the same?

Stinkersmum Sun 28-Jun-15 00:48:47

How far along are you?

AndMiffyWentToSleep Sun 28-Jun-15 05:27:06

Mine was not excited at all. But he did love him when he was born (3years ago) and is a great dad. Some blokes are just crap like that.

mrsfazruns Sun 28-Jun-15 05:32:52

Mine is excited .... On the inside!! He never shows any outside and I know he's over the moon im pregnant but sometimes it just looks like he's just not bothered!!

StarDustMonkey Sun 28-Jun-15 06:13:03

Mine also never showed excitement, but was crying (good tears grin ) when both DD'S were born. I think during pregnancy he was just so stressed trying to provide for our family, worrying about me etc. He was actually quite worried through the pregnancies and wouldn't hesitate to come with me to get checked over if needed. oh and he was a bundle of nerves and amazement and excitement at the scans grin

Bellabutterfly2014 Sun 28-Jun-15 07:24:08

My dp isn't very excited either or if he is - he's keeping it to himself!!!! He's got 2 teenagers from a previous relationship and a step-daughter and I do get the feeling some days he's been there, done that and got the t-shirt but I'm peed off as its my first baby. He also hasn't told them about the baby and I am fuming - he doesn't want to upset them! - wtf bout upsetting me?!?! Him and their mum split up 11 years ago - we've been together 2 and a half years!!!!

I'm 18 weeks now and he doesn't want to know what we're having (I would have really liked a gender scan 2/3d at a private clinic in town) and keeps saying it's far too early to buy anything - all I've got is things that people have given to me - nothing we've chosen together.

Maybe I'm a bit hormonal but I'm actually getting quite upset now - we've had a massive ding dong last night about it all too which nearly resulted in me going to my Mums last night! It got really bad!
He's already downstairs watching telly and I really want a drink but can't be doing with another argument!!! I'm off to work at 10 thank goodness - I just hope he's in a better mood tonight.

Xx

ARV1981 Sun 28-Jun-15 07:29:52

Mine sometimes doesn't show any interest at all, but sometimes does! The other morning I woke up and he was holding the bump feeling for kicks! It took me aback as I didn't think he was that bothered and was only going along with having a baby because I'd pestered him for 2 years about it.

He doesn't get at all excited about baby things (clothes, bedding, pushchairs, etc...) which is getting me down as he always questions the price of everything. I've bought far more than he has for this baby, but it'll balance out once I'm on mat leave and earning a pittance.

lfitzgerald100 Sun 28-Jun-15 08:28:04

We found out we were pregnant on Monday, since then my dp has not shown an ounce of excitement. After plenty of tears and coaxing I managed to find out he is scared and feels helpless, I just explained that all he can do it be there emotionally and help in what way he can!

Cornettoninja Sun 28-Jun-15 09:13:14

It'll depend very much on who he is generally but I do think it's a weird one for the man.

The physical signs are all there for us and it helps to make it real ( I've likened it to a second puberty on fast forward) but I'm still struggling with the concept of there being an actual person cooking away in there. It's all very abstract for dp.

I know him though so pick up on the smaller things that reassure me he's excited. Giving my fat tiny beginnings of a bump a rub every now and then even though I can barely feel flutters yet, eyeing up our decking covered garden and musing that kids need grass (not sure if he's mixed up children and goats?), the way he talks to other people who enquire about it.

I think because it's a 24/7 thing for me he just doesn't quite compare to my standards.

K8eee Sun 28-Jun-15 11:08:20

he generally doesn't get excited about anything really. I'm 21 weeks, but movement are stronger now, and I'd of thought seeing as we're having a boy and he wanted a boy he'd of wanted to know a bit more what's going on. confused must be just some men are like this then

Stinkersmum Sun 28-Jun-15 11:26:46

My dh is whooping about the place. I think the baby needs to be here in order for him to get excited. I'm 24 weeks and he saw the baby kick for the first time last night which was pretty cool. He did seem to find it amusing. He calls me lumpy and tries to rouse the baby to move and kick me. He finds that amusing. I've made all the lists for what we need, chosen the pram etc. He has some views on names and the birth plan. I think it's just not the same for men during the pregnancy so I don't expet him to feel how I feel. Although I must admit all I feel right now is bored and impatient. Being pregnant is in the main, pretty dull imo.....

Stinkersmum Sun 28-Jun-15 11:27:24

He isn't whooping about the place

Gillian1980 Sun 28-Jun-15 11:53:11

My DH doesn't often show much excitement and has very little interest in the huge piles of baby stuff I've bought.

But when we chat I think he is just a bit nervous, worried about me, the birth and the baby. As well as everything in the house being ready, money, being a parent etc. I think the worries are bigger than the excitement at the moment which is the opposite to me.

MrsEvadneCake Sun 28-Jun-15 12:00:52

My DH was not visibly excited when i was pregnant with our first DS at first. He was happy when we had the positive test, then quiet. Once we had the 12 week scan he was much more excited and loved the kicks. He said after he was worried and it didn't really feel like anything was sure at first. Then once we had the scan it was better.

Lunastarfish Sun 28-Jun-15 12:01:52

My DP didn't seem very excited initially which worried me as ttc was his idea! It wasn't really until the last trimester that he has become a lot more interested in things and insisting in doing the heavy jobs around the house. Sad to say that I think he just one of those guys that can't properly comprehendpregnancy until I had a big bump.

Ther has been an advantage to this though - as DP didn't want to go baby shopping I have been able to just buy what I want.

Have you biught your DP a book? I bought The Expectants Dad's Survival Guide - he seems to like it.

tinyme135 Sun 28-Jun-15 12:24:19

My OH doesn't show excitement all the while but I know inside he is. He has his moments, like this week is our dating scan and he can't shut up about it, but anything else I mention he doesn't seem excited. I always thought it was a man thing grin x

MissMartin10 Sun 28-Jun-15 14:14:47

my dp is amazingly laidback. so with being pg i feel like he's not fussed about the baby (we were trying for baby and he was happy when i got the bfp) but when we went for our scan he had tears in his eyes.. so that's all i needed to see grin

Rebecca1608 Sun 28-Jun-15 14:25:58

My OH wasn't very excited but my pregnancy wasn't planned. He came to one scan which was my 12 week scan even though i was scanned fortnightly until 35 weeks. He wouldn't talk about the pregnancy and didn't really buy anything for our girls either. It was like it wasn't happening for him and in the end i felt like i could only be excited or talk about it with my family or his family. I couldn't tell him when the babies were moving or share anything with him and he rarely asked how hospital appointments went. My CS was booked for 36+3 and i had them at 35 weeks he came to theatre with me and balled his eyes out. He loves the girls so much and couldn't do any more for them now.

Ragwort Sun 28-Jun-15 14:35:36

I think we were the other way round - DH was so excited and thrilled but I was rather shocked and subdued about the whole thing.

BlacknWhitePanda Sun 28-Jun-15 14:43:03

Dp didn't show any excitement, even when I was in labour he was the most chilled out person. But I have photos of him holding ds and you can see the love.. Even when you look at them now you can feel the love from the both of them to each other.

mrsfazruns Mon 29-Jun-15 05:56:34

I was shocked last night! DH has been so placid about everything then last night we went to wagamama for tea and the waitress asked us if we had any plans for the evening and DH replied "oh early night for us ..... My wife has her 12 week baby scan tomorrow" ... My mouth literally dropped to the floor! He's never even really mentioned it!!

Blackandwhitecat3 Mon 29-Jun-15 07:53:58

Sometimes I wonder if my DH actually remembers I'm pregnant! He's not excited at all, even at the scans the's emotionless. Not interested in telling his friends and sharing the good news. But he does like feeling my fat mini-bump and wondering if that's the baby kicking (it's not, it's just trapped wind!). He's focussing on the less than 2% risk it'll all go wrong and doesn't want to get excited until it arrives. I've told him that's not healthy at all (for him or me) and to concentrate on the 99% chance we're going to have a normal, happy, healthy baby. We can deal with shit if it happens, but we might as well enjoy the pregnancy. 9 months is too long to think about doom and gloom!

Candlefairy101 Mon 29-Jun-15 10:29:16

My mum always said "a women becomes a mum as soon as she falls pregnant but a man doesn't become a father until the day he sees his child" I'm on my 3rd and I swear my husband forgets I'm pregnant then all of a sudden it's like "oh we have a baby " xx

mrsfazruns Mon 29-Jun-15 21:36:25

So after a period of "non excitement" we Had our scan today and DH smiled like s Cheshire cat then took me straight to mamas and papas and picked out and paid deposit on full nursery! Then when I went for a nap he kept stroking my face and saying "your growing my baby" ..... I'm
So so so glad he's shown some enthusiasm now x

Bellabutterfly2014 Tue 30-Jun-15 07:19:12

Not been up long and had a massive argument with my partner - his total lack of interest has finally come to blows - his attitude is horrible towards me and it's seriously like he doesn't care.
I'm getting ready for work now and he's on day off but I'm seriously wondering where on earth we an go from here.
To be honest - if he's going to be this awful towards me I'd probably be better off flying solo - it already feels like that anyway!
Anyone else feeling like that?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now