Advice on where to start

[Emma321q]

Hi all

When I first found out I was pregnant with our very much wanted pfb my hubby and I promised each other we would not get carried away and would wait till 20 weeks before buying anything. Well we have now reached that point and I'm feeling very overwhelmed about where to start. From looking on mumsnet everyone seems so well informed about what to buy/ what is needed / how much to spend but I have no idea where to start.

My post is really to ask for ANY tips or advice you have.

Thank you

[AbbeyRoadCrossing]

You don't really need that much for a newborn, I'd start with the basics and buy as you go along. Maybe split it into sections:

• Somewhere to sleep and sheets etc
  
• Feeding (depending on method, breast pads, bottles)
  
• Some way of getting about ( car seat / sling / pram)
  
• Nappies (I wouldn't stock up as they grow fast) and changing mat, weipes / cotton wool
  
• Clothes - as above they grow fast and you'll get bought loads as gifts
  

That's kind of it, I think for absolute essentials. Other things might make your life easier but aren't essential e.g. bouncy seat and you can order later. Toys they aren't interested in at first and you'll get a lot of gifts.

[roughtyping]

The Mothercare catalogue has a little fold out checklist that might be a good starter :)

One thing DH didn't realise (I'm pregnant, already have DS who's not biologically DHs) is that you shouldn't have crib/cot bumpers or duvets. Only thing in crib/cot should be fitted sheet on the mattress, then it's up to you if you do sleeping bag or layers of flat sheets/blankets.

[roughtyping]

Even if you are planning on BFing I would get a steriliser - I used to express lots so needed bottles for DS even though I BFed and it's useful for dummies as well.

[roughtyping]

Sorry feel like I should also say - blankets/flat sheets should be tucked firmly under mattress - I used to put DS down 'foot to foot' so his feet were near bottom of cot, and blankets would come up to just above his waist fi that makes sense? So he couldn't wriggle under them. I was very, very paranoid about his sleeping!

[AbbeyRoadCrossing]

You can get safe bumpers now I think ours are called safe breathe and they come off (they are velcro) if baby pulls or stands on them and the material is holey and they can breathe through it. But yes the traditional ones with ties etc are unsafe. See if your baby needs them anyway, I wasn't going to bother but DS shoves his face into the bars and wakes himself up otherwise

Store lists are good for ideas but don't worry if you only feel you need 50% of it - they are after your money after all! I remember the John Lewis one I think, having a buggy parasol as an 'essential'... you know....for all that tropical sun we get

[roughtyping]

abbey good to know re: the cot bumpers!

I should point out to OP that my DS will be 12 this year so it's all changed a bit!

[TheEggityOddity]

I would not go mad, because once he baby comes along, you will soon find the exact requirements of what you want to buy and your house soon becomes full of baby stuff. I would say Moses basket and stand, cot sheets and a nice blanket, a travel system, some little vests, some little sleep suits, Lasinoh if you plan to breastfeed, bottles etc if not, a good quantity of muslin cloths, a few packs of nappies and an entertainment plan for yourself! That's it really. Then needs will arise that would fit your requirements, like if breast feeding goes well, a feeding chair maybe or a special pillow. Also one thing you do want to plan is some form of recepticle to wash yourself with water as you pee because it's going to sting after the birth for a few days! Really good luck.

[AbbeyRoadCrossing]

This is the kind of thing although I've seen them in tk maxx much cheaper since buying one www.safedreams.co.uk/shop/

It's all changed since I had DS last year as well rough - cosleeper cots recalled, car seat rules changed. I'm sure there's more things too!

[gingerbreadmam]

hi! congratulations. im on my first too and created a list as follows:

pram / car seat
clothing
sheets / blankets / bedding
nursery furniture
feeding
bathing

Then under each one i have made a note of the things i want. everyone has different tastes and needs. i have looked around at things and weighed up the cost and the benefits before deciding what i want / suits us best.

ive made a conscious effort to just buy some essential clothes e.g. sleepsuits cardigans and a coat as i know we will get so much in gifts.

post has got a bit long but im happy to share some of the things i decided on and why if it helps.

[applecore0317]

Bumpsters are good, I bought them for our crib instead of a bumper, each one wraps around one or two bars dependent on the size.

Cellular blankets are also a good breathable blanket and as someone else said foot to foot to sleep so that they can't wriggle down the cot or Moses basket and under the blanket. Although fro bags prevent this too as long as they have little poppers under the arms to ensure the baby is properly in.

[applecore0317]

Meant gro bags

[Emma321q]

Thanks everyone - there are loads of brilliant tips here. Will head out later this week to pick up some catalogues and will definitely make an essentials list like you suggest!

I am a bit unsure about getting a Moses basket. My hubby and I are both quite tall and I'm not sure it will last the baby too long. I was thinking of getting a cot for upstairs but then I'm unsure where the baby can sleep in the daytime downstairs. Our house isn't massive so it will need to be something quite compact. What do you all suggest?

[AbbeyRoadCrossing]

Our Moses lasted about 6 months, and DS was premature so I imagine it would last a term baby a bit less. Although it was only about 20 quid from the supermarket I think so not a massive outlay. DS slept in the pram downstairs, mainly because he'd fall asleep there if we were out and I'd leave him, or sometimes the basket, or sling. Or when he was very little he'd just fall asleep anywhere - he grew out of that unfortunately!

[Emma321q]

Thanks Abbey. Do you think it's ok for the baby to have all its daytime naps in the carrycot part of the pram?

[AbbeyRoadCrossing]

I'm not sure what the official advice is, sorry. Someone will know though. I think car seats are not advised for long naps because they are propped up but I think if they are flat it's ok.
I was told to be in the same room as him for naps until 6 months old, so that made it easier as I just wheeled him where I was! Also it's great now as if we have something like an all day wedding he'll sleep in the pushchair whereas other parents who told me having him sleep there was a bad idea couldn't get their babies to sleep easily

[Cheshirehello79]

Get pregnancy app it's a free - it tells you everything what to buy etc ... It's great

[lexyloub]

Maybe start with your pram alot of pram shops allow you to pay a deposit on the pram you want & you can keep paying a bit off until you need it, it takes the sting out of paying hundreds of pounds out all at once

[lexyloub]

And yes it's fine for baby to sleep in thr carry cot part of the pram in the day

[daluze]

Which has published a book "Baby and toddler essentials". We found it very useful before our first - just to get our heads round what are baby items, what features to look for and decide what we need and what we don't. It is unbiased advice - unlike checklists in shop catalogues, which always contain some things you don't actually need.
Also, shops are still open after your baby is born! And most do next day delivery. E.g. I planned to breastfeed and did not buy any bottles, etc, but needed to top up the first few weeks - just made online order before discharge and everything was delivered on time.
One note - same size babygros are quite different in size/shape from different shops - you won't know what fits your baby better in advance. So I wouldn't buy many from one place - get few from different shops and see what's better.
Good luck!

[Emma321q]

Daluze - have searched the net for the book. I can find a version published in 2007 second hand on Amazon. Is that the right one?

[LillyBugg]

My baby slept in the carrycot from the pram during the day. It was perfect. We used an nct bednest for night time. It's bigger than a Moses basket and has a drop side on it so has easy access to baby. There's loads of crib options though and everyone will have different opinions. For me, I was having a boy and the genes are very strong on my husbands side of the family so I had a feeling he would be a big baby. He was, a Moses basket wouldn't have lasted five minutes!

Another 'essential' item I had was a good bouncy chair. It soothes baby, often into sleep, and allows you to eat a meal while you bounce with a foot.

Congratulations!

[Emma321q]

Thanks Lillybugg.

I'm starting to think a carrycot will be our daytime solution too. Do you mind me asking what make you chose?

Also what baby bouncer did you go for?

Thanks.

[goodnessgraciousgouda]

Emma - for the carrycot, look for a pram which has a bassinet which is certified as safe for "overnight" sleeping.

I'm not as far along as you yet, but I have found it really helpful to simply make decisions about what I want to do (or try to do), and to have a look around our (MINISCULE) flat to see where we can get more space. Maybe this is totally the wrong approach, but it's really helped me personally!

Things like:

Deciding if you are going to use cloth nappies or disposables.
Personally I plan to use cloth nappies for as long as possible, due to the cost, and the practicalities. But it's worth making a decision so you can get an order in a few weeks before your due date (amazon = much cheaper for disposables than shops).

Breast feeding
I think even if you are absolutely 100% positive you are going to breast feed, it's worth getting a steriliser, some bottles, and maybe just one batch of formula in case of emergencies, if it doesn't work out, or in case you dp wants to do the feeding or whatever.

Prams
Prams are so insanely complicated that it's worth thinking about what aspects you would prioritise. If you are in a small space, something that folds up well would be good. If you live in a flat with no lift, then something lightweight. If you live in the countryside, then something much sturdier. When you've been to shops and found a model that works for you, then you can go and try and find it second hand online

[LillyBugg]

I bought a quinny moodd but wouldn't recommend it. The seat of the pushchair isn't great, the sun canopy is flimsy and the shopping basket is rubbish! But it did have a folding carrycot which I wanted because I had a small car and we don't have much space at home.

Bouncer, we got the baby bjorn new balance. Bought on eBay. For half the rrp. It was/is brilliant and would HIGHLY recommend it.

[daluze]

Yes, it is 2007 edition. Pretty sure we got it new, but it was 3 years ago. We also used Which reviews a lot to make shortlists of items, but you need to be a member to access them.
From personal experience, we found it very useful to spend time testing prams. I knew I'd spend a lot of time pushing it, so I wanted to make sure I like it and it is practical for our lifestyle. We even took a grandma to the shop to make sure she'd be ok with it (we live close to her, so expected her to be involved frequently).
We also made a list of items to buy and then searched for the best offers. Then went to the baby show and got ~20% off from the best internet prices for the big items. It involved quite a bit of research, but we ended up using nearly everything we got, and now most things are waiting for the arrival of DS2 this summer.