I'm sorry if this is not the correct place to post but I'm just feeling so low I need to get it off my chest.
I have just moved to the USA from the UK not out of choice but to support my husbands job (to which he travels 2 weeks out of 4) and just found out that I am the 1% of people where the combined pill has let down and that I am 8 weeks pregnant (not planned,sorry to say not exactly the best timing) so apart from the sheer shock of the matter, I'm having a breakdown.
I don't know what I expect to gain by writing it down but hopefully it is going to help.
I moved here in Miami in February and at this moment in time have NO friends at all, we could not live in the city where all the meet ups and such are because I have moved with my absolute world (German shepherd dog) and because of her size we could not live in a condo and the houses/space In Miami were just unaffordable, so I'm slap bang at the end of the suburbs where everyone keeps themselves to themselves and to be honest none of my neighbours actually speak, I don't have a work visa either so getting a job is not an option and I have just been refused to volunteer because of the insurance impact on a pregnant lady.
I hate to say it and please don't judge but circumstances in our life/Health etc I have never wanted children however I feel grateful for the fact I'm 35 husband 40 and we have been able to conceive naturally not even trying when I know so any people who have been trying desperately for years.
Basically though I just don't know where to turn.
I'm an expat (which is hard enough itself) with no friends living 6,000 miles away from home and everything I know.
Just got the shock of my life being told I'm pregnant.
Baby due mid December which means I won't be able to go home as planned and will be spending it alone as my parents cannot afford the flights at that time of year.
Husband only gets unpaid paternity which we cannot really afford either.
Will possibly cost up to $10,000 to actually have the baby (which we don't have).
Husband works away mon to Friday 2 weeks out of 4 so I spend most of the time on my own anyway never mind the doctors appointments/scans on my own.
And even when he is here he is working 14 hour days.
I just simply want to go HOME then at least I will be in familiar surroundings with my family and friends around me, however our house has been let for a year/car sold etc so my husband says it's impossible as he was made redundant and took him 9 months to find this job in the USA (no jobs for his skills in the UK) and it can't be done financially, so I just feel TRAPPED and ALONE and now with the pregnancy hormones etc it's just getting worse. And to be honest I think my husband LOVES it here so we are on total different pages in our life book, so now I'm starting to resent him in that I feel like I have lost everything material and emotional in my life. I just want a nice simple life but my husband is always chasing the stars better job/more money etc and I would be happy with him doing a 9-5 half the money so I can see him more. The best year I had was the 9 month we were living off his redundancy money, we pulled together and made inexpensive fun and when we did do something it felt like a treat, I had a job I enjoyed, now he is away all the time and still working at midnight and generally stressed out.
And I just feel like a conveyer belt of washing/cooking/cleaning etc.
I know I should feel grateful but I look at one set of friends I have back in the UK they live in a modest house, with a 3yo, both are just on UK minimum wage and they have 1 holiday a year as a family and I find myself envious of this.
I just don't know what to do would be very grateful if any other expats who have been in this situation could offer me some advice.
Please be kind I'm feeling low enough as it is I don't need people being nasty if they reply it might just tip me over the edge.
Thanks for listening
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Anyone with advice plz
16 replies
nisha7780 · 06/05/2015 15:54
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