No Baby Dust Here

[KateMovie]

Hello all,

I have been trying for a baby for just over a year and have been reading Mumsnet throughout! I thought I owed it to you all to leave a message to share my experiences, as I myself have sought comfort in reading threads and worried myself silly some months. Its great that this exists and I feel its my turn to offload!! So, AF has appeared today after me believing (again) that this would be 'the' month. I REALLY believed it. Had all the symptoms, a bleed which I though was IB and my moods have been atrocious. This was the first month I've tried OPK's too so I caught my ovulation window and we dtd around this. No such luck again!
My only claim to pregnancy was falling pregnant in November and unfortunately suffering a mc at 6wks. I just feel like giving up!!

I am 31 this year, am panicking that I'm 'too old', I've left it too late, have an overwhelming feeling that there's something wrong with me and all of my friends are falling pregnant left right and centre. The last news I received was of a friend pregnant last week (her second). My body physically wretched like I needed to cry but I held it together (just about!) and of course I am genuinely pleased for her. BUT I am thinking hang on a minute, when is it MY turn and why is the subject of pregnancy the bain of my life right now!!! I feel like all I do is think about whether I could be pregnant each month, have a painful wait for AF to turn up and all the while everyone around me is getting pregnant.

SO, I know I've only given the OPK's a month but I've decided on a new approach before I finally give up completely with trying as I've honestly had enough. I am going to dtd with other half EVERY OTHER DAY for the whole of next month and see if that works. Not just for my ovulation weeks but for the whole month. That way, I have covered every single day. Screw the OPKs.

Will update in a month and tell you all what happens.If nothing, then I officially admit defeat. I admire so many of you for trying for sooo long but for me, its just a head f*ck and I need my life back!!!

Love and best wishes to you all
Kate

[applecore0317]

Hi Kate, hope all works out for you, sorry you're having such a tough time. If it makes you feel better most of my friends didn't fall pregnant until mid to late 30's and I am 34 this year and pregnant. So as far as the age thing goes try not to worry about that part.

I can't comment on the rest of what you are going through and I'm sorry that you suffered a miscarriage. Really hope that this year is better for you x

[AuntieStella]

Have you noticed that MN has a 'conception' topic?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception

You might find it helpful to browse or join the chat threads there.

[SnozzberryPie]

Hello, sorry to hear that you are struggling to get pregnant. 31 definitely isn't old - plenty of women are ten years older than you when they conceive. I'm sorry to hear about your mc but it does show that you are able to get pregnant.

Can I recommend a book called 'taking charge of your fertility', it has so much useful information about how to conceive by knowing your fertile signs.

If you don't have any luck in a few more months then a trip to the doctor to check out you and your partner might be a good idea.

Good luck!

[Crumbelina]

Hi Kate, I know exactly how you're feeling - I'm almost 37 and it took us 20 months to concieve. Have you been to the GP for tests? If you've been TTC for over a year it's probably the next move.

The conception boards are also a good place to post as lots of women on the pregnancy threads are already pregnant and you might get a better response.

Also, there's a thread on chat at the moment - can't link as on phone but search for "If you had your first child at 35 or over how many did you have in total?". It's very reassuring!

Oh and 31 is NOT too old - not by a long way!

[60sname]

Hi, I'm sorry you're going through this. just to add to AuntieStella's post, there is a chat thread specifically for people who are fed up of charting, opks etc - the JS or just shagging thread - what it says on the tin . There's also a long thread in antenatal groups of JS 'grads' - people who conceived while on the JS threads - which you might find heartening.

[mrstothemr]

Every other day is exactly what we did - I got sick of being so involved in it all the time (post mc too, charted, temped, etc etc) and eventually figured dtd was really all it was about. Ds is testament to it working for us.

As for your age, I promise 31 really isn't that old. Ds arrived when I was 33, and the average age for my area at the time, according to the hospital, was 34.

Have fun, dtd every other day, and try (if you can) to take your mind off it. Harder said than done I know xx

[newbian]

KateMovie I am 31 and pregnant now. We tried for 9 months with no success. The first month we DTD every other day and stopped temping/using OPKs, I got my BFP. Lots of sex does work! Good luck.

[KatySparkles]

I'm almost 32 and currently 30 weeks pregnant. I started trying when I was 29.... There is no way you are too old! I used the Clearblue Fertility monitor to track OV but the cycle I finally got pregnant with a sticky bean we followed the 'Sperm meets egg plan' (SMEP). Have a look online for it. Basically involves lots of sex at the right time. We followed it to the letter and sure enough it worked. x

[Skiptonlass]

I got pregnant the month we ditched the opk s as well....also the month we only did it once due to several overlapping work trips abroad! Nature is funny like that :)

At 31 you are absolutely not too old, but it's very possible you've been missing the right dates. Give it a couple of months on the "shagging at every possible occasion" plan but I'd also go and see your GP to get any simple things ruled out as well.