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What would you do if your child was intersex?

(8 Posts)
RobynZ Wed 11-Feb-15 04:24:23

Would you raise them as gender neutral or would you choose a gender for them?

madwomanbackintheattic Wed 11-Feb-15 04:30:50

Given that there are so many possibilities with intersex conditions, I think it would be wise to treat each case/ child as an individual.

Impossible to answer.

Are you a journo?

There are also people who strongly believe that all kids should be raised gender neutral, to get rid of ridiculous cultural gender bias. Whether they are intersex or not.

It would make way more sense than dictating how someone was supposed to behave from the moment of birth, anyway.

sianihedgehog Wed 11-Feb-15 10:42:18

I would love them.

Number3cometome Wed 11-Feb-15 10:48:40

sianihedgehog - I would love them.

^yeah, exactly that!

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom Wed 11-Feb-15 11:20:52

Is this something you are dealing with?

I don't think one can possibly say what you would do given the variation in the condition. They would be my child and I would love them.

fattycow Wed 11-Feb-15 11:31:07

I would just love the child for the child. Also, gender is such a difficult topic, there are no easy answers.

TheSporkforeatingkyriarchy Wed 11-Feb-15 12:28:20

Legally, I think in the UK babies have to be assigned one of the gender binary options when registered (though neutral titles like Mx. are legally recognized, though not always allowed - I know intersex people have had problems getting it recognised by some NHS trusts) and would based on the available evidence depending on which part of the intersex spectrum the child was on. I'd likely do that even without a legal obligation as in other countries where it's become a legally assigned gender it's become problem in terms of the letter of the law for things that were written purely within the gender binary in mind (abuse and homeless shelters, marriage rights, and so on). While I support the work to change this, the gender binary is the enforced law of the land in almost all of the world even for intersex people and cultures that have a far wider gender spectrum that are working to rebuild after colonialism worked to destroy that and wouldn't want to make it harder for a child than needed until they chose to be legally intersex.

Unless there was an actual physical problem (like blockages that caused urinary problems), I wouldn't consent to surgery and would rain bile on anyone suggesting stretching (intersex assigned female women's accounts of being medically stretched vaginally from pre-pubescent ages is disgusting and heartbreaking, especially as it is all done with the mindset of making said child accessible to men in the future).

I've always kept name lists across the gender spectrum including neutral options with an intersex child in mind and all of my kids have given names (some first, some middle) that would allow them to change across the gender spectrum if their gender identity different from their assigned gender and would for an intersex child. And I would love said child and raise them the same as my other kids though I'm not sure 'neutral' is possible as current systems and society stands doesn't really give a neutral option (or if intersex should be considered gender neutral - many intersex activists state they do not view or feel intersex is neutral but as much part of the gender spectrum as intersex conditions are part of a spectrum).

Katexxy Sun 04-Sep-16 10:39:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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