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Pregnancy

Just found out my wife's pregnant with our first

30 replies

PanicImADad · 26/01/2015 09:41

Firstly, waaaaaaaaaaaaaah lol.

First post on MN, so hello Grin

Now, practicalities. Now the initial excitement has settled in, I have some queries I'm hoping you lot can help me out with. It's occurred to me that I know literally nothing about pregnancy, or babies, so I'm reading up, any pointers for anything generally useful / idiot's guide will be greatly appreciated.

The first of my initial queries is related to morning sickness. Unfortunately, we have no idea how far along my wife is, she was previously on the Depo injection which she came off about 12 months ago, and her cycle had only just started to return, and was in no way predictable or settled, so we don't have any dates to go off. We have a dating scan booked this Thursday after seeing the GP, so hopefully that will enlighten us a little, however all of a sudden she's really suffering with morning sickness. It can come on from 4:30am, but can also be around in the evenings, general nausea and discomfort. Is there anything she can take or do to help this at all? She's already taking centrum pregnancy supplements.

2nd, any recommendations for decent maternity bra's? I'm hoping I can track something down to suprise her with as she's already complaining of sore boobs, the problem is she's a 32G, and buying normal bra's is enough of a mission. Ideally she's after the one piece fabric, over the head sort of style affair, especially for when she's sleeping, but I'm struggling to find anything like that near her size.

Thanks in advance!

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meglet · 26/01/2015 09:47

congrats! with regards to the morning sickness there are certain medications that are safe. I was prescribed anomie, originally a travel sickness remedy, it doubles up as a sleeping tablet but if she gets really poorly it will allow her to keep food down and rest.

it's a few years ago now but I had a fab stretchy maternity bra by carrriewell. These days I wear it to yoga.

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weeblueberry · 26/01/2015 09:50

Firstly congratulations!! Smile

I'm not sure about the morning sickness I'm afraid. I think different things work better for different people so it's a bit of a how long is a peice of string. I assume she's tried ginger, water biscuits etc.

For the second question Id strongly recommend Bravissimo. They do nursing and maternity bras up to a size JJ so should be comfy for her. They're not cheap but she's probably used to paying through the nose for bras if she's a G.

Have you guys thought about booking a class? Either NHS or NCT? DP and I knew nothing about pregnancy before our first and I was the first out of my group of friends to have a baby (I didn't even hold one until my cousin gave birth ten weeks before I was due!!) and our NCT classes were invaluable. Definitely something to look into.

Good luck!

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meglet · 26/01/2015 09:53

gahh, bloody predictive text. I had Avomine.

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PotteringAlong · 26/01/2015 09:55

Don't buy a bra for her! They will already be a different size / shape and what was comfy before will not be now. Let her go and be measures for it.

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weeblueberry · 26/01/2015 09:58

Sorry just saw PPs message and agree!! It's a lovely idea to get her a bra as a surprise but it's such a personal thing and she needs to be measured. If she's further along than you think she may have increased in back size or cup size.

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Gudgyx · 26/01/2015 09:59

Congrats!!!

We had pretty much the same situation as yours - came off depo, within 6 months I had what I thought was a period. A bit later, we found out I was pregnant. We thought I was around 6 weeks, but couldnt be sure because I'd only had that 'period'. Went for a private scan to check and I was over 12 weeks :D

I think with the morning sickness thing, everyone is different. I didnt suffer from it at all, but it might be that your wife has to try a few different things to find something that works for her.

For bras, can I recommend these:

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/111011107080?_trksid=p2060778.m2749.l2649&var=410159880160&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT

They are IDEAL for home/sleep bras. Not so great for work etc as they dont have much support, but they have enough to help the pain and are very comfortable. I was a 34jj pre pregnancy, so I know these are fine for larger boobs. Also, I went to bravissimo at around 20 weeks pregnant, and they fitted for me a good 'day' bra. I got the ebay ones in an XXL and they are totally fine for me :) and easy on the pocket too!

Good luck :) hope you guys have a fab pregnancy!

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zippyandbungle · 26/01/2015 10:03

Congratulations. Re the bra, I would also recommend bravissimo but, I would just give her a nice voucher as she will need to be fitted. Nothing worse than an ill fitted bra with sore boobs, no matter how good quality.

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PanicImADad · 26/01/2015 10:03

Thanks for the replies all, appreciated :)

weeblueberry, best not to assume anything haha, she's drinking more fluids but I've not heard of ginger or water biscuits etc, we'll look into these.

Meglet, thanks for that, it's worth asking about.

We're up for attending classes for sure I think, but again I've not looked into this yet either, is it something you can start straight away or is it more appropriate later in the pregnancy etc?

PotteringAlong, good shout indeed, and we'll definitely go and get her measured properly, however this few weeks are particularly busy for the pair of us with work, so until she has a chance to get out I was hoping to just grab a stretchy fabric one to hopefully give her a bit of relief until then.

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HazleNutt · 26/01/2015 10:05

you don't need special maternity bras and I would actually advise against them. Most of them are non-wired, and at G-cup they wont offer enough support and will actually make her feel more uncomfortable. Same with those over the head bras - if your boobs are already sore, you don't want them bouncing around. It's normal for boobs to be sore, especially in the 1st trimester, and I have not found that bras make a difference here - unless they are already too small. her boobs are likely to grow during pregnancy and she will need new bras to accommodate that - but they can be just normal bras.
For sleeping, I would buy her a nice PJ from Bravissimo, they come with built in soft bras.

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BossWitch · 26/01/2015 10:13

Box of crackers, ginger biscuits, rice cakes by the side of the bed. I used to get all my morning sickness in the evening and would often wake up feeling sick/hungry in the middle of the night. Ginger is the traditional morning sickness remedy but it doesn't work for everyone - worth trying (biscuits, ginger tea etc) but if it doesn't work don't keep suggesting it, or she might murder you!

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Gudgyx · 26/01/2015 10:26

Bravissimo gave me the exact same advise as Hazlenutt - stay away from the maternity bras with bigger boobs as they dont have enough support. They gave me one of their own Bravissimo bras as opposed to one of the brand ones, where the wires dont come up quite so high in the middle so they are a lot more comfortable than the other bras!

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TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 26/01/2015 10:36

For morning sickness, if ginger etc doesn't work, try travel sickness acupressure bands, I believe you can get them from Lloyds. I've read that Holland & Barrett sell ginger capsules which some women find helpful too. I'm trying both of these next time - I practically mainlined ginger biscuits last time & they did very little to ease the nausea.

Stay away from Mothercare when it comes to measuring for bras, they don't know what they're doing... Bravissimo are fab though.

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BikeRunSki · 26/01/2015 10:45

Hit morning sickness, have a look at Pregnancy sickness support

For bras, get in touch with your local branch of NCT. Many have bra fitters who will visit you at home with samples, measure you and sell you what you want/need]].

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Zahrah5 · 26/01/2015 10:55

I would not buy bra now, that is too early. The size will change and it is more likely it will not fit. Unless you dont mind buying several bras as the size changes.

Morning sickness is pert of preganncy, dont think unless is very severe it as reason for concern.
Some home remedies recommed ginger, but many other sources say ginger, peppermint and other teas are not recommended in pregnancy, so it is your call, personally would not take anything herbal until really neccesary.
General discomfort is going to be here from now on for next 9 months, whether it is slight nausea, tiredness, belly aches and pokes, ligament pains, back pain, migraine, constipation, constant peeing, stuffed nose, heavy legs, bleeding gums. All there little things sometimes will add up into quite big discomfort. Just need to be brave and it all will pass.

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geekymommy · 26/01/2015 14:03

Smells are a common trigger for morning sickness. If she says a smell is bothering her, get her away from it ASAP. Coffee and bacon are common smell triggers. My sister couldn't stand the smell of peanut butter when she was pregnant. The smell of raw beef turned my stomach in my first pregnancy (this is a smell that I never really noticed at all before I was pregnant). It varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy. Some women find that some prenatal vitamins can make morning sickness worse, she might want to try some different ones.

I got a sleeve of 32 ounce (a little less than a liter) paper cups from a restaurant supply store, and kept one with me all the time during the early part of my pregnancy. I kept one in the cup holder of my car. I also kept gallon size (about 4 liters) Ziploc bags in my purse. That way, if I got sick, at least I had something to contain the mess. Paper cups and Ziploc bags can be thrown out, so there was minimal cleanup to deal with. Anxiety can make nausea worse, and worrying that you might vomit all over yourself in public can be anxiety producing (it made me anxious, anyway). I sometimes also wore a maxi pad, because sometimes some pee would come out when I vomited. Again, it was good to not have to worry about changing my underwear or clothes if that happened.

Another common first trimester pregnancy symptom is being exhausted. I'm talking someone who never went to bed before 11pm falling asleep at 9. (The restrictions on caffeine really didn't help at all.) I had to basically drop any activities that weren't absolutely necessary. She might not be able to keep up with the chores she's been doing. Your choices are to let things slide or take up the slack yourself.

I found that getting up and sitting down, especially sitting on the floor, was difficult. Bending down to pick stuff up sometimes made me feel dizzy. You might need to handle picking stuff up off the floor. Dizziness can bring on nausea, so that's not really something you want to mess with.

You need to decide when you are announcing this, and to whom. I announced to my boss (because I sometimes needed to work from home or take time off), my parents, and my in-laws right away. I waited to announce to everybody else until after I had results from my CVS and knew the chromosomes were normal. There are lots of ways you can handle announcing, but it's best to make sure you're both on the same page. If you're announcing to some people and not others, let the people you tell know that. Of course, if she sees any doctors, dentists, or other medical professionals, she will need to tell them right away. If she's on any medications, she should see her doctor ASAP to talk about whether she should change any of her medications. If you want to have a CVS or amniocentesis, you'll need to decide that soon and make an appointment. It would also be a good idea to discuss whether you want to find out the sex or not. You can find that out from the CVS or amnio, or from an ultrasound at about 20 weeks.

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nottheOP · 26/01/2015 14:12

You can get some anti nausea tablets that are pregnancy safe nowadays.

Prepare for lots of tiredness the whole way through with some slight relief in the middle of you're lucky!

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KentExpecting · 26/01/2015 18:31

Re: sickness... For me it was all about smells too. Could have killed my husband for cooking anything smelly and still have to gag now at 33 weeks if I smell any chicken. No idea why. So one of the nicest things you can do is get rid of any smells that are offensive to her. Take charge of the washing up, handling rubbish etc. ;)

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LollieLoves · 26/01/2015 18:41

Congratulations!

Re: sickness, I would second the suggestion of acupressure bands. These have been a lifesaver for me, though I have also had acupuncture too. I have been wearing them for 7 weeks now and not been sick once. They really reduce the nausea, though they don't take it away entirely. The only time I take them off is to shower, and I know they work because by the end of the shower the nausea's coming back and I'm desperate to get them back on again! The only thing is you need to position them very accurately or they won't work. They need to be a good three fingers-width down from the crease of her wrist in the gap between the two tendons.

Also, if you can be understanding of her food and smell aversions that will help a lot. I haven't been able to tolerate the smell of roast or grilled meat for weeks (especially lamb - bleurgh!).

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fattymcfatfat · 26/01/2015 18:42

I wouldnt worry too much about the sickness unless it becomes very severe. As for bras she definitely needs to be measured. I have to buy new bras every few weeks when pregnant. I wear a sports bra for bed but this may not be feasible with massive boobies! Bravissimo are fab at measuring and getting a comfortable bra but be prepared to get more when she outgrows the new ones!
Congrats by the way!

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VivaLeBeaver · 26/01/2015 18:45

Sore boobs is kind of par for the course especially in early pregnancy and not something a maternity bra will cure.

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PinkyAndTheBump · 26/01/2015 18:47

Just a word of warning that my boobies went 34g to 36h then to 38j. And they're expected to grow more when milk comes in!

Def recommend bravissimo sleeping bras but they do get sweaty.

As for book - I'd recommend Kaz Cookes book. Rough guide to pregnancy.

Good luck and congratulations!

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CheeseandPickledOnion · 26/01/2015 18:53

Congratulations. I have no advice, but think it's cute you signed up here to ask these questions. :)

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PanicImADad · 26/01/2015 19:43

Thanks all, it's all appreciated!

It's all very exciting, I just want to make sure she's as comfortable as possible really, I understand most of what she's got is perfectly normal and to be expected :)
She's not mentioned smells yet but I'm waiting for that to happen!

She's already off domestic duties, so that's not a worry, I generally have more energy than she does so that's usually how it works in our household, she is noticeably more tired, she usually would go to bed at 11 etc, the other night she went for a snooze at 7 and slept through till 7 lol.

These bands seem like a great idea, well worth a try. Any ideas where I can get one? I'm guessing a chemist etc tomorrow, I'm at work tonight so I'll try and grab one on the way home tomorrow.

Suggested we hit Bravissimo and she liked that idea :)

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PanicImADad · 26/01/2015 19:45

Geekmommy, thanks for the sage advice and the time to write all that, some really useful points in there :)

I think we're set on not finding out the sex, and I think we'll probably wait until 12 weeks to tell anyone, although she has told her boss at work.

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geekymommy · 26/01/2015 19:46

If she's at all prone to motion sickness, pregnancy can make that worse. (I know this from personal experience.) She should take the usual precautions against motion sickness- sit in the front seat or drive, sit near the front of the bus, don't read in the car, that sort of thing. If you're riding double decker buses, she might not want to ride on the top deck, especially on rough roads (I did that when I visited London in 2000). This isn't the time for recreational boat or helicopter rides.

You might need to avoid certain restaurants because of smells. I won't set foot in a diner that smells like bacon or coffee when I'm pregnant, because I know what is likely to happen if I do. Some women also get a keener sense of smell during pregnancy. If my brother-in-law wanted to eat peanut butter while my sister was pregnant, he had to do it outside (in a New England winter, I might add). If he opened a jar of it anywhere in the house, she would smell it.

Are you making coffee at home? If you are, you might want to try having it elsewhere (somewhere where she isn't) for a while, see if that helps her nausea. If you're cooking anything strong-smelling for breakfast, maybe switch to cold cereal for a while. I found it useful to keep a box of a bland kind of cold cereal in my cubicle at work, for days when I was too nauseous to eat anything else.

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